Whiffy In-Law

pinkemsy

As a Carer in a nursing home she will be dealing with the CARE of other people! This includes toilet habits and their personal hygeine - so a very odd scenario that she doesn't keep herself clean?

noonesperfect

If it wasn't for the fact you said she deliberately avoids bathing I would have asked if you'd heard of "fish-odour syndrome". I'm quite serious, there really is such a condition. My SIL used to work with someone who had it, she constant shoved talc "down below" :eek: .

You don't think she could have picked up an STD such as BV which would make her pongy? - maybe she's embarrassed to see anyone about it.

I can't really suggest anything that no-one else already has, but I think your idea of putting Vick up your nose might be a good idea in the short term.

Would it be out of the question to have a family day at the local swimming baths on the way to your house.......

Violetta_2

This is a terrible situation I have no answers but it does sound like your sil is ill in some way. What also concerns me is that she is working in a residential care setting , so is taking care of vulnerable people . She is posing a health risk to these people that she cares for/about. I'm surprised her employers are letting someone so dirty pass the nasty bugs/ germs about.
Oh I'm sorry I sound horrible , I don't mean to . It is a shame. Where are Kim & Aggie when you need them. Didn't they do a prog on people who didn't wash , I'm sure they were riddled with all sorts. I'm off for a shower.

vikki_louise

Hello, i just wanted to say you have my sympathy. Your posts could of been written about my Nan who stinks. My grandpa on the other side of the family doesn't like wearing deodrant but when he smells we just tell him (in no uncertan terms) and he goes and does something about it. my nan on the other hand is another kettle of fish (no pun intended!). she has inconteince and wears pads (although claims she no longer does even though you can see them under her tight trousers), she stinks the house out when she comes, its embarassing if anyone comes over, the room she sleeps in stinks for so long since shes visited, when my mum decorated none of us wanted her sitting on new things! She says she can't get in the bath at our house (we have offered her use at my other grandparents disabled wet room but shes says no) how ever I am unable to bath or shower due to my health but still manage to stay smell free (on the odd occasion i do smell my family tell me straight away etc), we ask her to wash, we tried hinting, my dads tried to have conversations with her, we've tried suitable, tried blunt nothiing works. It causes extra stress when shes here and often has us gagging. Her house is also appaling, my mum won't eat or drink anything there and although my parents visit and do some cleaning for her once every few weeks its still the kind of place you wash your hands when you come out! She has no social life except for a disabled club (shes got a big hang up about her "health problems" (which she doesn't actually have except a bit of old age) but she also seems to lack social skills, if people come over she goes quiet, you try to arrange for her to do things but she doesn't want to/gets funny about it etc. Her life is miserable and could be so much better, its so frustrating that her life is being wasted.

I hope you find a solution, we are still looking!

miserly_mum

pinkemsy wrote: »

As a Carer in a nursing home she will be dealing with the CARE of other people! This includes toilet habits and their personal hygeine - so a very odd scenario that she doesn't keep herself clean?

I found this strange too, but she is fantastic with the residents and her work can't be faulted. When our little boy was born several of SIL old ladies knitted cardis for him so it shows how fond they are of her.

Like another poster I sort of sway between thinking she has an illness or thats shes just lazy.

I'm not particularly tidy and hate housework with a vengence, but I know it has to be done. Even if i've had a lazy few days there comes a point that when I look around and the mess gets on my nerves. SIL doesn't seem to have that thought process.

miserly_mum

vikki_louise wrote: »

Hello, i just wanted to say you have my sympathy. Your posts could of been written about my Nan who stinks. My grandpa on the other side of the family doesn't like wearing deodrant but when he smells we just tell him (in no uncertan terms) and he goes and does something about it. my nan on the other hand is another kettle of fish (no pun intended!). she has inconteince and wears pads (although claims she no longer does even though you can see them under her tight trousers), she stinks the house out when she comes, its embarassing if anyone comes over, the room she sleeps in stinks for so long since shes visited, when my mum decorated none of us wanted her sitting on new things! She says she can't get in the bath at our house (we have offered her use at my other grandparents disabled wet room but shes says no) how ever I am unable to bath or shower due to my health but still manage to stay smell free (on the odd occasion i do smell my family tell me straight away etc), we ask her to wash, we tried hinting, my dads tried to have conversations with her, we've tried suitable, tried blunt nothiing works. It causes extra stress when shes here and often has us gagging. Her house is also appaling, my mum won't eat or drink anything there and although my parents visit and do some cleaning for her once every few weeks its still the kind of place you wash your hands when you come out! She has no social life except for a disabled club (shes got a big hang up about her "health problems" (which she doesn't actually have except a bit of old age) but she also seems to lack social skills, if people come over she goes quiet, you try to arrange for her to do things but she doesn't want to/gets funny about it etc. Her life is miserable and could be so much better, its so frustrating that her life is being wasted.

I hope you find a solution, we are still looking!

I have a feeling we'll still be having this problem with SIL when shes your Nans Age As you have pointed out, there are ways to keep clean even if you can't or won't get into a bath. Even babywipes would be better than nothing.

SIL doesn't really lack social skills, perhaps a bit of limited conversation topics at times (work and/or DVDs) She'll go anywhere if shes invited, but for obvious reasons this is rare.

Shes been all over the world on holidays over the years. She loves cruises, and goes on her own (something I don't think I could do). She never buys anything new to go with though.

Bogof_Babe

How about having a curry in the slow cooker, getting ready for your tea?

miserly_mum

Maybe we should all not wash for a week and eat lots of beans before she arrives and then we could use her or an air freshner

BTW OH and I had row this morning as he wanted to pay some guy £30 to valet the car today, 2 days before picking SIL up on saturday morning. Why bother,if it'll need doing by Saturday afternoon again?

Bogof_Babe

Oh dear, whatever was he thinking of? Sounds like it might be a good opportunity to have a serious talk with him about this problem.

miserly_mum

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Oh dear, whatever was he thinking of? Sounds like it might be a good opportunity to have a serious talk with him about this problem.

Nah he's just s**t with money. The valeter was doing it while the car was in the works carpark. A few others were getting it done so he wanted it aswell. The car is a few months old and immaculate(why I hate the thought of SIL in it) and doesn't even need cleaned. Men eh!!!!

He'll also wine and dine the family on sat while they are here. Then he'll more than likely pay their taxi home too (£30 ish) :mad: