boyfriend says he can't upset wife!!!!

caroleann

I ignored his text, he's done all this before, an hour later I got a call on my land line, it was Mike, sounding terrible, pleading with me not to put the phone down on him, saying he was going to see 'her' for a talk, so I said I'm not hanging around waiting for you any more, i had been asked out on a date and I was going..... he had another woman in his life and now I had another man in mine, he nearly died!!!!!
I said ok you go see her then come back and tell me and put phone down on him.....
An hour later he rings me to say he's been to see her and she's agreed to a divorce, he'll go to solicitors asap, I say, proove it! he says how? do i want to talk to her? So I say, YES! guess what? 5 mins later my landline rings and it's her!!!!!!

jimsmum

caroleann wrote: »

I ignored his text, he's done all this before, an hour later I got a call on my land line, it was Mike, sounding terrible, pleading with me not to put the phone down on him, saying he was going to see 'her' for a talk, so I said I'm not hanging around waiting for you any more, i had been asked out on a date and I was going..... he had another woman in his life and now I had another man in mine, he nearly died!!!!!
I said ok you go see her then come back and tell me and put phone down on him.....
An hour later he rings me to say he's been to see her and she's agreed to a divorce, he'll go to solicitors asap, I say, proove it! he says how? do i want to talk to her? So I say, YES! guess what? 5 mins later my landline rings and it's her!!!!!!

Oh tell more, this is getting interesting, sorry ive not posted much, im only 21 and don't have that much advise but have read it from the start LOL :rotfl:

caroleann

She says, 'Hi Carole, Its ......, just to tell you Mike has been to see me and yes I agree to a divorce, I want to sort my life out too, I just ask you never stop him seeing his kids, I said not in a million years would I ever do that, she said 'I wish you both all the best for your future', I said the same to you, we said Bye and that was it!!!!!!
Mike was a wreck, but he came to see me later that day and I've never felt happier in my life ( exept when I had my two girls ),I feel like he's mine now and we can move on.

Errata

Caroleanne, I hope things work out for you, but just a caveat. Remember when he told you his daughter would never speak to him again if he divorced her mum? What's changed there?

caroleann

Errata wrote: »

Caroleanne, I hope things work out for you, but just a caveat. Remember when he told you his daughter would never speak to him again if he divorced her mum? What's changed there?

Hiya, me old buddy,
Nothings changed there, he says it will be ages till she speaks to him again, he's just had to accept thats whats gonna happen, I've said he should text or ring her and ask to meet her, just to explain whats happening and why, whether he will or not is out of my hands.

ceridwen

Well.....result....of that you can be quite sure...with his soon-to-be ex O.H. on the phone to you. Think that sounds QUITE conclusive.

See....we're all in there right on the ball with the advice on this one....and we got there between us in the end. :T

Next point is - magnanimous in victory - both to the soon-to-be ex O.H. and - even more so - to the daughter. You seriously want to win that daughter over if you possibly can --and it aint going to be easy.

So - for tonight - celebrate...resolved at last.

For tomorrow - or next month - pretty soon....its the magnanimous in victory bit and win over the daughter (it isnt going to be easy - but its next task - and it is very important - it will make life very much easier for both you and Mike).

Good luck.

Errata

caroleann wrote: »

Hiya, me old buddy,
Nothings changed there, he says it will be ages till she speaks to him again, he's just had to accept thats whats gonna happen, I've said he should text or ring her and ask to meet her, just to explain whats happening and why, whether he will or not is out of my hands.

You're right, it is his business but blimey that blioke needs a good shove in the right direction sometimes !

Just remember, and make sure he understands, he is divorcing for his sake not yours. Some blokes are very good at saying "I divorced my wife for you", and throwing it up in their new OH's face at every verse end. And that demonstrates that they're guilt free zones and everything that happens is someone else's fault.
Also if necessary, draw his attention to my flat iron !

Enjoy.

ps I would suggest a lengthy engagement so you can fill your bottom drawer. 7 years would be about right

caroleann

ceridwen wrote: »

Well.....result....of that you can be quite sure...with his soon-to-be ex O.H. on the phone to you. Think that sounds QUITE conclusive.

See....we're all in there right on the ball with the advice on this one....and we got there between us in the end. :T

Next point is - magnanimous in victory - both to the soon-to-be ex O.H. and - even more so - to the daughter. You seriously want to win that daughter over if you possibly can --and it aint going to be easy.

So - for tonight - celebrate...resolved at last.

For tomorrow - or next month - pretty soon....its the magnanimous in victory bit and win over the daughter (it isnt going to be easy - but its next task - and it is very important - it will make life very much easier for both you and Mike).

Good luck.

Ceridwen,
You have been with me in this saga for a good while, thank you, your'e right, good advice won through, I would love to win over his daughter, she's 21, not much different to my own daughters age really, they are 15 and 25, so been there and done that!!!!
I think she has always felt a bit left out by her Dad, reading between the lines, he has 3 sons and has spent a lot of time with them doing 'Lad' things, motorbiking, kayaking etc, I think she just thinks, 'Oh, here's someone else getting put in front of me' Any suggestions on how I can start making inroads with her? she's very close to her Mam, which figures if Dad has'nt been there for her.

Errata

Caroleann, be pleasant, friendly, warm and courteous towards his daughter. Accept any rebuffs with good grace and don't try to win her over - she'll see straight through it.

caroleann

Errata wrote: »

You're right, it is his business but blimey that blioke needs a good shove in the right direction sometimes !

Just remember, and make sure he understands, he is divorcing for his sake not yours. Some blokes are very good at saying "I divorced my wife for you", and throwing it up in their new OH's face at every verse end. And that demonstrates that they're guilt free zones and everything that happens is someone else's fault.
Also if necessary, draw his attention to my flat iron !

Enjoy.

ps I would suggest a lengthy engagement so you can fill your bottom drawer. 7 years would be about right

You did it again!!!!!!
You might not believe me but I used to have a bottom drawer, in 1977, but my God, 7 years! I'll be past it by then:rotfl: