boyfriend says he can't upset wife!!!!

ellie14

Hi ,its me back thought everything had turned out great ,but kept thinking about you and then saw this lot posted WELL!!!!! nearly died when I read what he had done yet again .I dread to think where you would have been without all the support on here Cheers Guys you all deserve a medal I would have been here as well had I known ,felt uneasy didnt trust him so kept on looking for a post must have missed it .Gosh when you read it back to yourself you must be able to see just what hes done ,bet that wife figures in the scenario,they always do,unless women instigate divorce men will sit there forever and do nothing ,shes obviously got him where she wants him,thank goodness let him go .
I do know what I'm talking about ,my case scenario went on for 25yrs waiting even had a child ,of course he did not want the child only bit on side ,even suggested honestly that I sell or give the child away !!! That finally did it ,it was hard hard but I stuck to my guns and never turned back.Even to this day 16yrs later a little feeling creeps in .I have friends no one special man but I am happy ,a fantastic gorgeous daughter,and hindsight .
My thoughts are truly with you ,I think if you can convince youself he didnt really love you ,it helps you get through it ,it helped me.Really he has done you a favour however rotten,you like me deserve better,will keep in touch stay strong,HUGS!!!!!

k1mmie

Lets just all remember that in most cases it is the man and therefore the cheater who is causing all this heartbreak and knows what he is doing. In most cases the wives are as much a victim as the other person. It is the men wanting there cake and eating it too.

It is so easy to think that the wife has won, in the cases where the men decide (or are forced into making a choice), but in most cases (and i'm one of them), they are still struggling with dealing with emotions of their husbands actions.

basketcase

Loretta wrote: »

In about 2 years time I am sure there will be someone else in your position, wife probably knows what he is like and has decided it is worth all his nonsense for financial reasons, he is definitely worried about that pension, it must be worth a fair bit!!

I bet if you could be bothered to look into it he has probably done this all his married life.

Don't get mixed up in this couple's games, I bet they have spent their whole married life doing this sort of thing and that is why his children are so odd

Good luck

I've just read all the way through the thread. Firstly Caroleanne, I do sympathise with you so much but have to say I wasnt altogether surprised.

I agree with Loretta. Was on the "wife" end of a similar experience (we even had a daughter) - he was playing me off against what one of my friends called 'his Glasgow floozie'. He'd be nice and loving to me till about March; she'd write to him, he'd write back; they'd see each other and he'd buy her birthday presents in May; June/July she'd take offence and stop writing round August; he'd be nice and loving to me till about November; she'd write saying how foul she was and it was all her fault; he'd see her and buy her Xmas presents; she's take offence round mid-January... As you can see, I began to see a pattern!

In the end, I ditched him, she's still around and there's usually someone else on the scene too. I pity her. (As he so quaintly put it at the time "she's good in bed, but not for anything else. I couldn't introduce her to my friends!")

Even if Mike divorced his wife and married you, what's to stop him from doing the same to you as he's done to her? If he can carry on making you feel loved until just before he ditches you (BY EMAIL for crying out loud! :mad: ) then at what point could you believe that this time it was forever? One thing you said that made alarm bells ring was that he'd been with another person for (I think you said) about 9 months before he met you. Please ask yourself why that relationship ended.

I know how you feel - I felt the same way at first, even though I was the one who left. We've kept in touch and I've remained 'friendly' though not friends because of our daughter. However, after a few months of grieving the loss of the relationship, I suddenly woke up to what I was thinking and realised that I was better off without him.

I don't want to sound harsh but cry all you need to then please, PLEASE realise just how much better you deserve than this and find a man who'll really love you and be loyal to you. I realised that I wasn't grieving the loss of the man, I was grieving the loss of the person I thought he was. He may well be "lovely apart from the cr4p" but the problem with cr4p is that it sticks to the nice bits and makes them stink too! (Ask me how I know :rotfl: )

JoKay_2

hi caroleann, just stopping by to see how you're getting on? x

regularsaver1

have read this whole thread tonight - i really hope things work out for YOU as thats what is most important

how are you getting on? x

journ

I'm so sorry about your pain i just don't understand how people can do this i think he is a very sick man and he was living two different lives.

I had a BF and a few yrs later i found out he was seeing someone else :mad: god i love him so much but i had a baby to think about so i told him it was over he tried over and over again to get me back it was very heard to keep on saying no but i knew deep down i couldn't live like this anymore.

I would hear music that reminder me of him or look at our son and i could see his father i had to stop myself so many times from picking up the phone and say i will have you back but i knew that would have been a very big mistake .

I just wanted to give you a ( BIG HUG) and tell you people really care about you xxxxxxx