boyfriend says he can't upset wife!!!!

caroleann

Hi Margaretclare,

He keeps telling me he loves me and does not want to get back with his wife, that said, yes he's shilly shallying.

He spends all his free time with me, works horrible shifts which distrupt both our lives quite a bit, but he does his best to be here with me when he can.

He's not going back and forward to her ( As far as I know!!! ) and he's on his months notice as you probably know/heard, thats when the truth will OUT, and things will move one way or another, will just be patient till then, thanks for your comments, I guess we are all different and what one person will accept another wouldn't, I'm a soft touch, but in this instance my pride wont allow me to go on without a commitment from him, the only problem I'm anticipating is that she refuses to give him a divorce and makes him wait 5 years, will want to see solicitors letter from her confirming this of course!!!:mad:

Errata

Surely she'll want all the financial stuff sorted out before she clears off to Aus ?

caroleann

Well, there's a thought!!! Why would she? she doesn't want a divorce, she wont get pension till Mike retires, 18 years time, so what is the point in her doing anything before she moves to Oz??????

Only make it more difficult for solicitors to get in touch/track her down, exactly what she's after, IMHO.:mad:

Errata

I guess it might be helpful to think about how you might feel if the divorce isn't instigated after 5 years separation. 5 years only means that one can divorce the other without their agreement, not that they have to.

Wishing you a relaxed weekend getting yourself ready for the big day on Wednesday; clean vest and knickers and all that stuff.

caroleann

Errata wrote: »

I guess it might be helpful to think about how you might feel if the divorce isn't instigated after 5 years separation. 5 years only means that one can divorce the other without their agreement, not that they have to.

Wishing you a relaxed weekend getting yourself ready for the big day on Wednesday; clean vest and knickers and all that stuff.

Hi Errata,
Things have gone pear shaped at this end, BF is backing off, surprise surprise, acting very strangely, did'nt come to see me last night as he's feeling down,
He's not going to do the wife/ solicitor bit is he???????
Please give me your comments, you have been spot on in the past at seeing things I cant,
Caroleann

loopy_lass

hi caroleann

hes in his cave, leave him there for a while, prod n poke him he will come out growling... he will do what he will do hun, remember we are not in control of anyone else but ourselves.

Do what is right for you, if he wants to be with you he will, if he doesnt your better off without someone who is there in body but not mind.

going thro same things this end, its difficult... thoughts are with you

loops

Errata

caroleann wrote: »

Hi Errata,
Things have gone pear shaped at this end, BF is backing off, surprise surprise, acting very strangely, did'nt come to see me last night as he's feeling down,
He's not going to do the wife/ solicitor bit is he???????
Please give me your comments, you have been spot on in the past at seeing things I cant,
Caroleann

Caroleann, I've sent you a PM. Enjoy the sunshine !

Steel_2

caroleann wrote: »

Hi Errata,
Things have gone pear shaped at this end, BF is backing off, surprise surprise, acting very strangely, did'nt come to see me last night as he's feeling down,
He's not going to do the wife/ solicitor bit is he???????
Please give me your comments, you have been spot on in the past at seeing things I cant,
Caroleann

Let him back off. Don't say anything or bring up the divorce or solicitors. You agreed to wait until the 22nd so I'm afraid that what you must do. He said the 22nd - there's a cut off date. Now he has to step up to the plate and he knows it. No wriggling out this time.

He's probably getting very antsy because he's working his way up to doing something about it. He may even be doing something about it this week, even maybe tomorrow, which would explain his behaviour. Be calm, be cool, don't bring it up. You're doing great.

Keep your eyes open and your wits about you. And start getting really busy to take your mind off what's going on otherwise your brain will twist you up in knots and make you say and do daft things in front of him.

(((((Caroleann)))))

Steel_2

loopy_lass wrote: »

hi caroleann

hes in his cave, leave him there for a while, prod n poke him he will come out growling...

Hee hee!! Do you know, out of both of us, I'm the one who has the cave, not hubby. And boy do I growl sometimes when he attempts to forceably drag me out!

But he's learnt that I'm usually grumpy about a situation and not at him so he leaves me to it. The garden plants do suffer a bit from savage prunings though when I go out there to get it out of my system!

NAR

caroleann wrote: »

Things have gone pear shaped at this end, BF is backing off, surprise surprise, acting very strangely, did'nt come to see me last night as he's feeling down,

I think you are quite right to be suspicious. I think he is going to see if he can get you to back down (using mental blackmail) - for goodness sake stick to your guns!