boyfriend says he can't upset wife!!!!

caroleann

Yes, she's switched on, just bagged a new job last week with BT, £35k!!!!!!!!! think I'll be ok for a sub.

swiss69

I would just say dont neccesarily jump to conclusions. I didnt get divorced for 5 years after separating as I just didn't see the need. it didn't mean I wanted to get back with my ex wife. My current gf forced the issue a bit and in the end I got round to it but at my pace and when I wanted to do it. As a result we had a very amicable divorce and get on very well now which surely can only be good for our child.

Men in general are pretty poor when it comes to things like this. What we see as pretty unimportant , Women can see as very important. We are just different creatures. If you choose to go out with someone who is not divorced then you must expect a bit of hassle along the way.

occassionally I helped my ex if she needed help as we share a child and I have always put my child before anything else regardless of what anyone else has thought. This has caused the odd issue along the way with partners but in my opinion Jealousy and resentment are bad qualities to have and get you nowhere.

The best bet in my opinion is to talk to him, tell him what you would like and then ask him what he would like. If you can't find some common ground then it really is probably not worth continuing with the relationship.

ceridwen

caroleann wrote: »

OMG, that was funny, think I laughed for the first time today!!!!!!

Thank you so much for your support over the last few days, I went to see my grown up daughter when I finished work today, she's a very level headed,
sensible woman of almost 26, and it was as if the tables had turned, she said 'Mam, its time to get rid, how would you feel if someone was doing this to me?, he doesn't deserve you, he's a liar and you dont trust him' GOBSMACKED, every word the truth, so why am I doing this? need to be loved? lack of confidence? dont want to be lonely? have argued it all out in my head and that little voice is getting stronger every hour I dont hear from him,wish I could slip him a truth drug and get to the bottom of his story, if I dump him I'll probably never find out what happens with him and wifey and that will kill me, I was tempted to drive through to his house on Saturday night to see if his car was there or if it was at wifeys 5 mins away, had a glass of red and and silently seethed instead.
Watch this space, women are wiley and there are ways of finding out things.....
Caroleannxxx

I think its called "private detectives" - but (voice of experience time coming up) - if you know in your own mind that you are a reasonable sort of person (ie not particularly jealous/suspicious/etc) - but you are suspicious enough of a man to go down that route - then you might as well save your money - as you will soon enough find out you were correct.

caroleann

ceridwen wrote: »

I think its called "private detectives" - but (voice of experience time coming up) - if you know in your own mind that you are a reasonable sort of person (ie not particularly jealous/suspicious/etc) - but you are suspicious enough of a man to go down that route - then you might as well save your money - as you will soon enough find out you were correct.

Hi Ceridwen,
Yes, your'e right. its that gut feeling you get when you know there's something not quite right, gaps, spaces not filled in etc.
xxx

ellie14

Hi,Just put emotions on the back burner for now concentrate on getting that job.Think more money better conditions ,he may not look so attractive once you have bagged it .You can do this,feel you will come to your own conclusions regarding b/f and whether to go forward or call it a day.Good Luck

journ

Caroleann i just wanted u to know you are in my thoughts
I know your heart is breaking now but try to stay strong i know when you love someone you cannot see what is going on until people point it out to you but even then you don't want to believe it , I was seeing someone for 6 yrs he was 10 yrs older then me and people were telling me he was leading two lives which in my case he was seeing other woman :mad: deep down i knew but it was to painful to live with so i kept it away for many years i had a lovely baby and for a year i put up with his s*** until one day i wasn't going to take anymore and i started to change i went from loving this man so much to not letting him hold my hand he knew i had change and he even try ed the not phoning to see if i would run after him but them days had gone i have a son to think about and one night i told him to go and never try to get back together again he try ed to talk me around but as i pointed out to him when your son was having surgery at 8 weeks old you didn't want to know :mad:
I knew it would be hard but i went for a better job and my sister and mam help me so much my EX kept on trying to get me back but there was noway i was going down that road again My son is 21 yrs of age now and i am so proud of him he is so caring and he said mam thank you for letting me make my own mind up about my dad but i never wanted him in my life .
Stay strong

Steel_2

caroleann wrote: »

I will stick to my guns, I know there's something fishy going on here, its just not adding up, I've sent a text saying we need a break till things settle down, that was at 3pm yesterday, not a single word from him since.

That's because you just dumped him by text. By the way, when you tell a man you need a break, he doesn't hear "I need a few weeks to myself and then we'll carry on". He hears "You're dumped". His brain doesn't work along the same routes as yours.

A few days ago you agreed to give him time untill the 22nd to get things going. You said nothing about not seeing each other or having a break at the time. You've gone back on your agreement. Under the circumstances I wouldn't have replied to your text either. It's horrible to be dumped in such a way.

There are too many people too quick to smash the opposite sex because they've either had something similar done to them or know someone who had it done to them. However, each situation is different and has to judged on his own merits - most of which aren't known to us, only to caroleann. The majority of men are not evil !!!!!!!s out to manipulate you and get sex and love from you under false pretences. They're just confused and try to avoid doing things that cause them pain like most of us do.

Caroleann - take a step back, take a deep breath and just wait. For all you know, he may be sorting out the situation.

PENNYWISE_3

Wishing u lots of luck for the interview today.

caroleann

Hi Steel,

Thanks for your post, I read it yesterday but did'nt have time to reply as was going out last night.

I wasn'nt dumping him at all, dont think he's seen it that way either, he has been in touch on Monday night, wishing me luck in my interview and saying he misses me, I thanked him for that and said I'd let him know how I'd got on, ( Still no news ) then I texd him yesterday after my interview and said I was down to the last three for the job and should hear today, and that we should stick with the agreement he made about the month to sort/start things, and that I hoped he understood why I had to do this but I'd be here waiting for him then, if he'd stuck to his word, he replied saying he did understand and it was probably a good idea to stay apart till then but it would be hard for him as he missed me so much, I miss him too, but need to do it as it's important to both of us to know where we stand

Caroleann

caroleann

PENNYWISE wrote: »

Wishing u lots of luck for the interview today.

Hi Penny,
It was yesterday, waiting to hear how I've done, on my day off so just having a lazy day and catching up with everyone with my saga!!!!!
xxxx