Wife has walked out - what are my options.

jazzyjustlaw

edgebiker wrote:

Hi
First of all like everyone else my feelings go out to you your wife also your children.
i think also aunty margaret speaks a lot of sense.
But having been in a very similar situation i would say take the oportunity to sit down and reflect on your life, what do you want from your life. Do you feel you could do more with yourself. What dreams did you have that were never fulfilled. Maybe if you are honest with youself you will understand your wifes decision better.
One other point to remember. DO NOT TRUST SOLICITORS. They will do all they can to cause conflict between the two of you. Remember it is only in their interest for you to have a long protracted divorce with a fight over finances which they will encourage.
Believe me i have been there. If you do end up going that route make sure you find out your legal position yourself. I found out midway through proceedings that i was being badly advised by then it was too late.
Good luck with the rest of your life.

I take exception to your comment on Solicitors. It is prejudice and offensive.

margaretclare

I think that taking positive steps to rebuild your life - as you are doing - is excellent.

You may need a solicitor's help before this is all sorted out - but be sure in your own mind what you want out of this before you go to see one. Like everything else, when looking for a professional, personal recommendation is a good way to find one that you can work with. Counselling or mediation services might be a good way to go - remember this isn't really the solicitor's job - but you already said that your wife won't hear of it. So you're going to have to decide what you want to happen and what you want the outcome to be of all this sad story. (I know you love your wife and you'd like her back, with the life that you had before her walk-out - but assume that isn't possible).

Best wishes

Aunty Margaret

edgebiker

jazzyjustlaw wrote:

I take exception to your comment on Solicitors. It is prejudice and offensive.

It may well be prejudice but i have been in various situations dealing with Solicitors and Family Law and in only one case have i found the So;licitor to be totally honest and giving good advice.
Offensive, You may have found it so, but it wasnt meant to be. The point of my comment was that if anybody is going to use a Solicitor be very aware they work in the best interest of the person they are representing, and when you get two Solicitors working for two clients the only winners are the Solicitors.
i am afraid i speak from experience.

edgebiker

elona

Pleased that the OP is sounding more positive about things and hope things work out .

Mr_Skint_2

Jesus Dude

Now thats a bum deal, all I have to ad is well, try and relax, sort things out amicably, and if possible a relaxing holiday for a couple of days or a good relaxation massage.

I wish you the best of luck..

rozeepozee

elona wrote:

Does anyone else of this generation feel that they are treated as a sub standard housekeeper?- not as a person but as a household utility rather like a hoover but making less noise.

I've read this thread with interest and how OP (is that the right term? I don't know what it means - quite new to chat forums) self awareness and inward reflection seems to have increased. For a fascinating well researched (and possibly emancipating) read on the subject of how women can become very disillusioned in relationships try Susan Maushart's book "Wifework". It changed my life (ish!). I think it should be part of the National Curriculum. It's not about having something to beat men up over. That helps no one. Rather that females AND males can understand each other better and thus help in relationship and family building and good communication.

elona

OP is "original poster" - the person who started off the thread.

Welcome to MSE and thanks for the information about the book. It sounds interesting.

genna_h

This is my first post on this forum, and have been really touched by the sincerity and good advice people have provided to Captain Pugwash at this time.

I'm only 18, and have not been marriage or have much experience, but I have viewed my parent's friends marriage split. From what I saw there, one thing to remember is your children. I am not saying you will do this, but keep a close bond with your children regardless of your wife's actions, they will respect you more and more for that, and try to remain strong around them. The husband of the split up I have mentioned has quickly found a serious relationship and new life with someone else, and in the process has neglected his daughter in all ways ,missing her grad ball. Just remember that however old your children are, they will be affected by this and just keep up what you are already doing by being there for them at what must be a hard time for them too.

I really feel for you right now but am sincerely pleased that you are picking yourself and preparing yourself for a new life without your wife. I think that whatever the circumstances of motives of your split, you deserve to know what your wife is doing, and most importantly why she has done this to you. I think that by her not explaining herself, she is causing further pain to herself and the whole family involved, and I hope that in time she will have the courage to talk to you all. Most of all, I hope you live the rest of your life to the full, because there is no point constantly looking back to what has happened or what could have been. Who knows what is waiting around the corner for you!

Best wishes to you Genna_H

LouLouHelen

Really sad to hear your news. I hope you can at least talk this through with each other soon.

One thing I would say is please be careful. If your guards are down and she wants things her way BE CAREFUL. She walked out of the house and that wasn't very clever on her part. As soon as she gets some advice she will know this and may start to play clever.

I know this might be hard to hear right now but you need to look out for yourself.

fisheddie

My sympathy to you indeed - this is very unfortunate.

Whilst attempting not to overeact, do make sure you get the best legal advice you think is possible. The courts are fickle places where a clever barrister can often nip the bud of what seems correct.

You may want to get a barrister's opinion. Remember solicitors are often transactional. The barrister should be the first person to throw the bucket of cold water over you. By this I mean he should give you a totally objective opinion well clear of any of your emotions. You may not want to hear what they have to say - but remember they know the courts.

I hope for all parties sake that it doesn't go to litigation - but if it does, think very carefully what you want to get out of it.

The very best of luck,