Calling All Single Parents

gottasavecash

Hi Everyone,

Just saw this thread and thought i'd pop in as i'm a single parent too.

I used to live abroad but returned to Scotland homeless just over 2 years ago after losing house over there and splitting from ex-partner. It has been a bit of a slog to try and get accommodation, although i am in my 4th private rental and desperately trying to get permanent accommodation to try and take away the additional expense of private rental.

My 4 year old daughter has special needs and getting on the system and chasing up services and entitlements was/is almost a full time job in itself. She is a wee star and she is an absolute pleasure, i would never have her any other way.

I have worked for 3 months but it came to an abrupt end when i became ill and was hospitalised and had to go sick. I was sick for a total of 8 hours and they terminated my contract (agency work). I had been at work for whole week before with tonsillitus. Anyway, now looking for a permanent job 2 full days a week, hoping to get back out into the real world with adults.

Glad to see i'm not the only one around here and i'll keep popping in if that's all right with you guys ?!?!

Diamond78

Hi gottasavecash, wellcome to our littleworld here.Firstly sorry to hear what you have been going through. I can understand what you are going though in terms of housing, there is such a housing crisis.If i could get permenant housing through council or housing assosiaction it would help me so much as i could go to work then as you know yourself and other parents that are in private property rent is so high compared to council.

As for your agency, it seems they have dismissed you unfairly.Regardless of how long you have been with them it is unfair that they can terminate your contract due to ill health.I suggest you try and contact your local citizens advice.Are you a member of gingerbread for lone parents.You dont have to pay but they do ask for donations.You can sign up then contact them to get some advice as i feel you should also be housed as you have special needs child.You should be proud of yourself as your doing well with everything.
http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/
http://oneparentfamilies.org.uk/

i will try and have a read when little man is at school as im sure i could do with getting advice from one of these organisations. I like gingerbread as they do special offers for days out at discounted prices but my membership has expired and ive moved so need to get my details updated.

Hope everyone is ok and enjoying the weekend so far.thank to those who pm'd me-your a star and made me feel better.

I have bad period pains and am due on, ive got so much to do and just dont want to.I feel very tired.dads you are so lucky you dont have a period and suffer the way we have to lol.

I really want to take my son disneyparis for his 6th birthday but so far havent found any good deals, it would cost me more than £400 just for 3 days.Has anyone single parents been disneyparis?

misswig

Diamond78 wrote: »

Hi gottasavecash, wellcome to our littleworld here.Firstly sorry to hear what you have been going through. I can understand what you are going though in terms of housing, there is such a housing crisis.If i could get permenant housing through council or housing assosiaction it would help me so much as i could go to work then as you know yourself and other parents that are in private property rent is so high compared to council.

As for your agency, it seems they have dismissed you unfairly.Regardless of how long you have been with them it is unfair that they can terminate your contract due to ill health.I suggest you try and contact your local citizens advice.Are you a member of gingerbread for lone parents.You dont have to pay but they do ask for donations.You can sign up then contact them to get some advice as i feel you should also be housed as you have special needs child.You should be proud of yourself as your doing well with everything.
http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/
http://oneparentfamilies.org.uk/

i will try and have a read when little man is at school as im sure i could do with getting advice from one of these organisations. I like gingerbread as they do special offers for days out at discounted prices but my membership has expired and ive moved so need to get my details updated.

Hope everyone is ok and enjoying the weekend so far.thank to those who pm'd me-your a star and made me feel better.

I have bad period pains and am due on, ive got so much to do and just dont want to.I feel very tired.dads you are so lucky you dont have a period and suffer the way we have to lol.

I really want to take my son disneyparis for his 6th birthday but so far havent found any good deals, it would cost me more than £400 just for 3 days.Has anyone single parents been disneyparis?

I have also been looking to take my son in the next few weeks but am shocked at the price of staying within the park. Its a bit cheaper staying in Paris rather than the park tho.

Diamond78

misswig, its awful isnt it-i promised him i would take him for his 6th birthday when he was 4.I really thought i would of had a job and steady home by then and I havent.I go without as much as I can, i never go out and never buy myself anything,i dont have my haircut which is long overdue and colour my own hair which i havent done since summer.i have given up smoking and although i have paid for driving lessons i still want to go disney badly.My son is so looking forward to it.I am going to sell some bits on ebay like clothes he has outgrown and what ever else i can find but its still expensive.I saw a thread on here about tesco clubcard vouchers being changed to eurostar tickets.Kids should be free anyway for a limited period as its a special offer but when you have one adult you have to usually pay a bit extra as most rooms are for 4 ppl.we will have to let each other know what we find lol

Sunnydoo

Diamond-quick note as i've just come back from babysitting & i'm exhausted !
Glad to hear you're feeling better
Have you tried any of the paid2click sites ? The rewards aren't huge but the pennies build up if you're patient-PM me if you would like more details or there are threads on the Debt Free Wanabee board

I've never been to Disneyland Paris but i'm lucky enough to have a brother who lives in the US so have been to Disneyland California & Disneyworld-it takes great stamina to do a day at a theme park as a single parent but i have hints & tips if you do end up going

Really should crash now !

p.s welcome Gottasavecash !

gottasavecash

Diamond 78 and miss wig and everyone else,

As far as it goes when taking it further with egencies, i really don't hav a leg to stand on. I took temporary work with and agency to cover maternitey leave job share. My other half was off sick most of the time i worked there and i did work overtime to cover but couldn't do full time, the agency did not stop my contract, the employers personal manager did, she was just pxxxed off that everyone was going sick and now even the agency were. She was withing her rights to do so but if killed me financially and she didn't recognise the additional hours that i had done which were actually a real difficulty re childcare. I take it as a learning curve towards permanent employment. The only difficulty in the future for me will be school holidays which at that point were covered as the nursery offer additional care in holidays as my daughter has additional needs. When she starts school after the summer my options will change dramatically as far as childcare goes. I want to work desperately but as my parents and brother and family live abroad i have no-one who can look after my daughter for me. I want to build a future for us but am seriously concerned about my options. I need to work for the sake of my own sanity. I used to have a really high powered job but for me now i only want to be able to support myself and my daughter and work towards being able to provide a good future and good treats ie holidays etc for us.

I am on the waiting list for s Social Worker to help me with legal side of daughter starting school and ways to help with securing permanent accommodation as my daughter struggles with change. I would strongly duggest you do the same. Best way is to get some-one, ie paediatrician or GP to make a referral. I've been waiting for almost 8 months and i wont get one until they have recruited but if your not on the waiting list it will take much longer. It seems to me that you have to know the future in these situaitons. I saw expect the worst and allow for it. My current property rental is the best i've had yet, i feel more at home now than i have done since coming back to scotland but i've been ripped off by 2 private landlords so far but through experience i know it's not going to happen again.

I'd love to take my daughter to disneyworld, i've saved 55 pounds in tesco points so far and i beleive you can do eurostar with them. I think the only way to do this is to do it with someone else in same situation. I've read loads of threads with great deals on accommodation etc. I don't even think i'd be able to go abroad right now with my daughter alone as i couldn't leave her for even a moment.

Hope you can find a way out of your difficulties, if you can get some help them it might not happen overnight but if you can see some light at the end of the tunnel it might help the whole situation !

misswig

Hi

Well the weekend is over and its another work week :mad: . To be honest i dont feel as tho there has been a weekend at all- i feel exhausted.

It took 35mins for my son to eat his breakfast this morning and he chose it as it's his favourite! I had the usual 'it makes me sick', 'it's stinky', It's too hot' (put some cold milk in to cool it down to be met with) ' It's too cold!!' In the end i got cross with him and he then started to eat. Why oh why do they leave it until you are at the end of your tether before they will do as they are told. It has left me feeling horrible for getting cross as he is at nursery until 3.30pm. I know i should remove it after a certain length of time but i cant bear the thought of him going to nursery hungry.

Anybody else have the same problem or is it just me with an extremely stubborn son??

Sunnydoo

Happy (??!!) Monday everyone

Misswig
My DD was like that with her food when she was younger-she's 8 now & still a fussy eater but i must admit,if she likes something then i don't usually have arguments so i make sure i give her things that i definately know she'll eat.Luckily she likes most fruit plus peas,sweetcorn & carrots so it's not just junk
As for not doing something until you lose your temper, i'm afraid i can't help you on that as i have the same problem...i'm beginning to think my DD can't hear me unless i repeat the same request at least 3 times !

shazrobo

h all, just been catching up on the threads, my sons are the same they don't hear anything unless its been repeated several times, they both have special needs tho, which dosen't help.
diamond, i know how you feel being depressed, and being a single parent in unsuitable housing. do you see a counsellor?, mine has been great, we got a council house, and she is now trying to get me some help from social services regards my sons, as i have no family or friends to help out either, and its severley affected my mental health coping alone
hope everyone has a better day than me, i've got one of my sons home all day cos his school has flooded. couldn't they issue the kids with wellies?

misswig

Hi Shazrobo and sunnydoo

Thank God that i'm not the only parent with a child who has really selective hearing!! (unless you say chocolate, park, sweets, pudding TV etc etc). I swear to god my son (only 3.5) has turned into Kevin from Harry Enfield:eek:

My son will eat most things if he is feeling that way out but mostly its an uphill struggle to get him to eat his dinner. Can take an hour sometimes!! I dont think its because he doesn't like some foods, i think its becaus the whole process of eating is boring!!!:rotfl: :eek: . I've always been a bit neurotic tho when it comes to his food, worse since becoming a single parent. He is on the 91st centile for height and weight but you can still see his ribs and spine:eek:

As much as he drives me banana someday, he is still the best thing to happen to me and i wouldn't change him for the world