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Money Moral Dilemma: Should my mum help with our childcare costs while she's on holiday?

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  • nesssie1702
    nesssie1702 Posts: 1,346 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I'm aware we don't have all the details, but if you're not paying your Mum for her time, then please don't even think of asking her to contribute to your childcare costs when she has a holiday?

    Where's the gratitude for what she does?

    My gasts are flabbered!
  • pixiebel81
    pixiebel81 Posts: 55 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts
    Of course she should pay, just as you paid your employer for having to hire someone to cover your maternity leave...right?
  • This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    My mum picks my son up from school three days a week, as his dad and I work full-time. On the other two days, we pay for him to go to an after-school club. My mum has just booked a two-week holiday in June, which means we'll have to pay for an extra six days at the after-school club while she's away. Should we ask her for a contribution towards the cost? Or should we just be grateful that she picks him up at all, and not say anything?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

    B) If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
    :/ Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.
    :# View past Money Moral Dilemmas.

    I really think you should be so grateful that your mother does so much for you! Give her a break! I'm sure you have a holiday every year, and so should she.
  • Absolutely and definitely not.  You are extremely privileged to have free help with your children, grandparents have lives too.  I would suggest you reward your mum regularly in many ways for helping with your children instead of charging her to pay for your responsibilities.  She won’t need your cash but she would appreciate your treating her in other ways to show how much you value her help and show appreciation.  As others have said, don’t take her for granted you are a very lucky lady
  • VintageBelle
    VintageBelle Posts: 324 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    You know the answer already and you know you're being selfish by even having that thought. Honestly!!!!
  • VintageBelle
    VintageBelle Posts: 324 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    kathill55 said:
    this has to be rage-bait
    Yeah and just attention seeking. 
  • grillbatry
    grillbatry Posts: 2 Newbie
    Eighth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    I’m totally shocked that you think it’s ok to even consider asking your Mum to contribute! She’s raised her family, why should you use her as an unpaid nanny to suit yourself. How selfish.
  • tayknthyme
    tayknthyme Posts: 6 Forumite
    Third Anniversary First Post
    This post sums up the state of our country today. Too many people particularly much of the younger generation, think everything  comes free. They THINK they are ENTITLED to childcare, a house, a car, holidays. I partly blame the nanny state for throwing money at people. When my 3 children were young we received child benefit. My wife looked after the children daytime Mon - Fri. while I worked full time as a telephone engineer. Weekends roles were reversed, she worked part time at a care home Sat - Sun. We had three holidays in 15 YEARS a week at Butlins and two one week holidays in friends cottage, North Wales.  I can't say anymore other than that, WE brought up OUR children... we didn't expect OTHER people to do it for us. WOW your parents have thoroughly spoiled you.
  • KeelyMc1
    KeelyMc1 Posts: 1 Newbie
    First Post
    Oh dear, your poor mum. I can't believe you think this is a dilemma. Just do what all parents do, get on and do it yourself! 
  • Basia022
    Basia022 Posts: 15 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    This must surely be wind-up - how much are you paying her for the help? or do you really just feel contempt for you Mother?
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