Money Moral Dilemma: Should my mum help with our childcare costs while she's on holiday?

lee86_uk

You should be paying your mom to help raise your offspring anyway, or paying for her to have a break.

You have two full time incomes , the sense of entitlement makes me absolutely sick. No moral dilemma here 

Sunny662

You should be giving her a bit of spend for a treat whilst she's away. I can't believe you'd even ask this. 

DartmoorGal

"My mum picks my son up from school three days a week, as his dad and I work full-time. On the other two days, we pay for him to go to an after-school club. My mum has just booked a two-week holiday in June, which means we'll have to pay for an extra six days at the after-school club while she's away. Should we ask her for a contribution towards the cost? Or should we just be grateful that she picks him up at all, and not say anything?"


1. Are you paying her wages, even minimal costs? Are you paying national insurance for her? Are you reimbursing her for petrol and car maintenance expenses to and fro your house 3x per week, from her house to school to your house back to hers?

2. Have you paid for the entirety of her holiday? As her 'employer' you must, by law, provide her with paid leave. More than a fortnight too. 

3. Lastly, honestly, how dare you treat your mother so disrespectfully like this, who's given up half her life now (all, before you became an adult) for you? 

You need a long, hard, look in the mirror and wake-up to your ingratitude. 

loesapoint

If this is a serious question, I do feel desperately sorry for the mother in this post. It seems clear that her help is unappreciated and to suggest that she should contribute to extra costs being paid by the poster, if true, shows the daughter in a most unfavourable light. Many responses have suggested that the post is a wind up - I certainly hope so because, if not, it shows complete lack of sense on behalf of the poster.

muchusedmum

The grandparents perspective
Since I retired 8 years ago, I’ve had a great time helping the kids with the grandkids . 

My daughter is highly and demonstrably appreciative- my son and his wife less so. I do a full day a week at son’s house 45 mins away ( 6.45 am until 7.30 pm excluding travel) two school age kids.
In addition,  I pick up daughter’s twins twice a week from school 15 miles away. I cover school holidays for all of them which can be all 4 at once or combos of 2 .
 I receive no money and wouldn’t want any as I don’t need it , so I’m very lucky - but I used to pay my mum for childcare cover when my kids were little ( mainly used I think to cover petrol and the outings she and dad took the kids on !). When they were on holiday I sorted cover . I tried to make a fuss for them at birthdays , Christmas and mothers and fathers days and sent them away for the odd weekend. In hindsight I probably didn’t make sure how much I appreciated their invaluable help .

I go on holiday , give my kids a bit of notice and they sort cover .
I may be considered a bit of a mug but do you know what ? The pleasure I’ve had from being a hands on Nanny is beyond price .

 And if you do use your parents for childcare foc , a little bit of thanks , consideration, thoughtfulness and appreciation goes an awful long way.

Nerol

I'm actually struggling to understand if this question is made up or not! The entitlement is astounding! 
If I asked my mum this she would disown me! I hope if you do ask her that from now on she charges you for every pick up she does. GOD FORBID your mum is allowed a holiday! 

saajan_12

EVEN IF you were employing mum to provide childcare, she'd get paid holiday time, not owe you anything. If you're not even paying her, then uh, start? 

disconnectedcatfluff

🤣That is such a nonsense question. Great replies though.

GrandmaEm

As a grandparent , I would  be really hurt if my daughter even thought of such a thing . As someone else posted, surely this is not a serious question ? If it is, then I hope your mother doesn’t see this post and works out that it is about her . 

bigfattummy

Agree wholeheartedly with all that has been said. My Mum wasn’t able to take my children each week, but she did during the summer holidays and I paid her board and lodgings for the children. I also paid for any activities that she took them to. They also had “pocket money” so that they could take Granny out for a coffee. Crikey Kelvin!!