Money Moral Dilemma: Should my mum help with our childcare costs while she's on holiday?

Pollycat

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My mum picks my son up from school three days a week, as his dad and I work full-time. On the other two days, we pay for him to go to an after-school club. My mum has just booked a two-week holiday in June, which means we'll have to pay for an extra six days at the after-school club while she's away. Should we ask her for a contribution towards the cost? Or should we just be grateful that she picks him up at all, and not say anything?

Really?
You should be grateful that she helps you out 3 days a week, saving you money on after-school clubs.

If you'd floated that suggestion to me as your Mum, your son would be going to after school clubs 5 days a week.

Shockingly entitled!

VictoriaSandwich25

This will be me soon, hopefully, as we will be helping with childcare once 1st grandchild arrives, and I'm happy to do this, but on my own terms. Of course I wouldn't expect to pay towards childcare costs when I go on holiday, but I would be conscious of the difficulty this would present, and so would give as much notice of my absence as possible so that alternative arrangements could be made. Childcare is so expensive, and if I have agreed to help with it by participating, this is my gift, but equally, I don't intend to make it difficult for my daughter by chopping and changing my arrangements. So I don't agree with the OP in even considering asking for ££, but I sympathise with their difficulties in making alternative arrangements. I really hope it goes smoothly for my family when it is (soon) our turn! 

Granniesue69

 this has to be a wind up to see how many astonished replies the post can generate

silvercar

VictoriaSandwich25 said:

This will be me soon, hopefully, as we will be helping with childcare once 1st grandchild arrives, and I'm happy to do this, but on my own terms. Of course I wouldn't expect to pay towards childcare costs when I go on holiday, but I would be conscious of the difficulty this would present, and so would give as much notice of my absence as possible so that alternative arrangements could be made. Childcare is so expensive, and if I have agreed to help with it by participating, this is my gift, but equally, I don't intend to make it difficult for my daughter by chopping and changing my arrangements. So I don't agree with the OP in even considering asking for ££, but I sympathise with their difficulties in making alternative arrangements. I really hope it goes smoothly for my family when it is (soon) our turn! 

I hope to be in a similar position soon. I think the difficulty in arranging childcare is a problem. I’m hoping they have a back up position.

dalby1512

I agree with all the previous posts. You could be accused of taking the p...

..

nackie

I don't know why this is even a question. Your mother helps you out however many weeks there are in a year for school kids, let's say 40 for argument's sake. Are you paying her to pick your child up? I presume you don't and your mother does it to help you save money in childcare after school, so that you have more disposable income. You should be paying for (part of) your mother's holiday as a thank you! 

LynniH

Be grateful your mum is kind enough to help out.  Do you pay her petrol money for the pickups or for the food she feeds your offspring.  Us grandparents that do help out like this are usually financially worse off and worse off timewise - we have limited time to ourselves in our older years and once we've finished helping out with childcare for years, have less energy to enjoy our free time for holidays etc.

ginger_chocolate

Surely this one is just trolling?

Volunteerlady

I have three grandchildren and helped out with grandchild number two as I  retired and also collected number one from school.  I loved doing that but if I had been asked for a contribution while away I would have been very hurt. I did not expect contributions from my daughter for food snacks or petrol. And she was very grateful to me for helping out.your mum is giving up her time I’m guessing for nothing. Many grandparents will not do that. Many refuse to help out with child care. She is your mum and does it for love not for money I’m guessing. You are her daughter and hopefully love your mum enough to say have a lovely holiday mum. 

I’m also assuming your mum does not work right now and is therefore probably retired. If not she should maybe look at how she pays her NI contributions and you should maybe suggest she claims them for looking after your child. 

Furrykittens

Absolutely not, you are coming across as very ungrateful. If someone took me for granted like that I would ever offer to help again. I have had absolutely no help with raising my son as both my parents died and I would have loved to have some help like that. If anything you should be paying her to help you not expecting it for free and then fining her for daring to be on holiday.