Money Moral Dilemma: Should my mum help with our childcare costs while she's on holiday?

Luvaducky

This is either made up or written by my daughter. What a callous way to treat a mother who is probably very tired and in need of a holiday. Give your head a wobble.

JibJab1966

As others have said, what do you contribute towards your mother’s life? Are you serious? Have you really thought about how much you save because you have a mother who provides such care?

gerrag

If you were my child, I'd be seriously insulted by your question.
I would be asking myself how did I raise such a thoughtless, thankless, inconsiderate brat who would begrudge me a much-needed holiday whilst asking me to pay for my absence!!!!

Shell1989

Appalled by this question, like everyone else here. Why should your mum pay for your childcare? If she decides not to do it in future you’ll pay for 5 days a week, 39 weeks a year, so pay the extra 6 days with a smile on your face.

eao

I think that you  should ask her for a contribution and if she hesitates in any way, sack her!  Of course she might take the initiative, realise her selfishness and resign on the spot!
Isn't a sense of entitlement wonderful

youngie

 No even if you pay her for picking up your son which I assume you don't, your child is your responsibility just be happy that you get help 

Kim_13

Instead of expecting your mum never to have a break (which, if she were an employee, would be illegal) why don't you ask your son's other grandparents for help? It's not right to have unfair expectations of one person while any other surviving grandparents get a free pass. I say this having a family member who felt she had no choice but to drop down to 2 days a week at work to manage the unpaid childcare, while the father's parents did nothing (and the house just about got by on the grandfather's wage.) She had said she did not feel she could cope with babysitting multiple grandchildren at once, only to end up with two little more than six months apart in age once the first had gone to school. 

No one is entitled to free childcare just because they and the child's other parent work full time. Look into tax free childcare if you haven't already, and sort NI credits for your mum also (if she works part time, it's likely she'll only earn enough for a partial year given the amount of childcare she's doing -  and that won't get her a year towards her state pension unless she pays to bridge the gap.)

Free childcare should be a bonus and not an expectation. Parents have no choice over whether and when you chose to have a child - why should they take responsibility for someone else's choice?

Naomi1990

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My mum picks my son up from school three days a week, as his dad and I work full-time. On the other two days, we pay for him to go to an after-school club. My mum has just booked a two-week holiday in June, which means we'll have to pay for an extra six days at the after-school club while she's away. Should we ask her for a contribution towards the cost? Or should we just be grateful that she picks him up at all, and not say anything?

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I'm generally shocked that you have the cheek to think this way. They are your child, a grandparent is never obligated to do anything never mind pay anything. She helps out the kindness of her heart and you see it as a weakness, or that you are owed something when she doesn't. I actually take/pay for my mum to come abroad with us as a family ever single year. I've done this for the past 4 years as a thank you for all the help,  occasionally ( 3x per year) collecting my youngest from school, and having both of my girls the occasional Saturday. I also randomly buy her clothes, give her gifts, treat her as much as I can on mother's day, birthdays ect. I go out my way to make sure she knows she is valued and appreciated!

Northern_Smiler

The mind boggles, it’s a ludicrous thought!  I hope the comments provide food for thought; fully appreciate your mum instead of taking her for granted. Be grateful you have someone to support your lifestyle. Many don’t! 

kimwp

The only way this could be a dilemma is if she insisted on an arrangement that overall ended up costing you more. But it's easy to arrange the extra childcare when she's away and she's saving you huge amounts by looking after the kids for all but two weeks.
Curious as to the school holiday arrangements...