Money Moral Dilemma: Should my mum help with our childcare costs while she's on holiday?

mickeymonkey

You are a grown up, they are your children your responsibility. Your mum has been there done all that she should be living her own life with no childcare now. If she chooses to help out whether paid or not  just be grateful. Be glad for her happiness and wish her well on her holiday. When you we planning your family did you not work out how you would navigate childcare and work conflicts? I suggest you take some time off work to care for your children then when she returns pay her a proper wage. 

Emmia

kimwp said:

The only way this could be a dilemma is if she insisted on an arrangement that overall ended up costing you more. But it's easy to arrange the extra childcare when she's away and she's saving you huge amounts by looking after the kids for all but two weeks.
Curious as to the school holiday arrangements...

I half expect the answer to this is, Grandma looks after them 5 days a week. Apart from 2 weeks where they go all inclusive at Disneyland (without Grandma, as it's too pricey) from the money the parents have saved on childcare...

Benthebadger

I can't believe this is a serious dilemma. Whose children are they, for goodness sake? I will be polite and just say "get a grip" but you are an ungrateful individual with an entitled attitude.

Chickenlady01eggs

Please tell me this is a joke? Your poor mum!

Moralhelper

I’m going to take a less moralistic stance here compared to anyone else. I don’t know your circumstances, how much you earn or whether you or your partner could take holidays while your mum is away. But here is the thing: there is doing what is right and doing what is possible. What is right is that you don’t take your mum for granted and be grateful for the money she enabled you to save by doing free childcare for you after she’d already raised her children.

Then there is also doing what is possible. If you’re really skint and your mum is fairly well-off, you could have an honest conversation and perhaps test the idea of getting some contribution to pay for childcare during her time away, since you’re not earning much. That’s just being pragmatic. But she needs to feel free to say yes or no. What you can’t do is to assume that this is your mum’s responsibility. 

I wonder, are you perhaps infantilising yourself if you think you can’t find a way to raise your own children without mum’s help? That’s a tough question to face but what if  - God forbid it - something happens and your mum can no longer offer you free childcare? People get old, become more forgetful, more confused, more fragile. In this instance, in fact, it would be great to offer her some support. More to the point, as parents, it’s your responsibility to have a feasible plan to take care of your own children. Great if you can count on family help but ultimately, they’re your problem.

GingerWarrior

Guaranteed this has got to be Clickbait to drive people to the forum (and yes I’m here now  )

My late Mum used to do a lot of childcare for me and my wife, and would never begrudge her a break let alone cover costs for a if she wanted a break. We had a number of small family trips to the West Country and we always treated her (and my old man) to say thank you. 

What I'd give to have Mum back today to see how my daughter has grown up so well and part of that will have been how my Mum helped raise her during those childcare times. 

Ok I bit!

Susanvw

I can’t believe you are asking this.  Talk about taking advantage of your one and only Mum.
Give her some spending money for her holiday and never be so ungrateful again.

del3210

I actually can’t believe you are asking this question, I’m sorry but you chose to have children it’s not your parents responsibility, you should be grateful you get help. She is entitled to go away whenever she pleases, it’s your child and your responsibility.

Grandad2b

Oh hahahaha.

Seriously, if you can't afford the childcare perhaps one of you should rearrange your working hours so you can pick up your kids yourselves.

Lowry1986

I do hope, for your Mum's sake, all the comments will prompt you to appreciate how generous your Mum is in making that regular commitment to collecting your son, whilst you obviously have  no appreciation for what she does. Your Mum's generous commitment enables you both to work.  There is no way she should pay up because she cannot meet that commitment for a short while. On the contrary haven't you thought of offering her a big 'thankyou'. Maybe some offering towards her holiday.  But I guess you are too selfish and ungrateful even to consider that!?