+++ Whoops! Here comes the cheese! +++

redofromstart

I'm uptight and functioning but I need to process today before I write about it. 

Have been much more even today. Only the evenings chat about possible playlists made me tear up but in a good way. 

Baldybear

Delurking to say sorry to hear about mr redo.  Its such a hard time and so much to process.  I have lost far too many people in the last few yrs many sudden like my mum only had 2 weeks and then my bro in law just last yr had a sudden heart attack too, he was only 53.  Its such a gut wrenching experience and all I can do is send massive hugs and love to you all.  

When my mum died a good friend sent me this which helped me so hope you dont mind me sharing it.  https://thelossfoundation.org/grief-comes-in-waves/

redofromstart

Thank you for delurking, yes that describes it exactly doesn't it.

redofromstart

So yesterday did involve a brief call with the hospital and then a visit to the funeral directors.  That is all in progress as far as it can be.

One of the four pension companies does not accept emailed notifications (despite the website saying that they do!) so I need to ring them after 9.30am.  Does anyone know if I ask them to split a fund between his four sons, would this still be tax free for them.  I know it would come to me as tax free, but then if I passed it on to them as a gift it may cause problems later.  Just something I am thinking of doing.

I also got valuations on both of our cars, as I need to think about my vehicle needs going forwards. Mine needs 4 new tyres and the rear brake pads doing.  

The bike has been released so I can arrange collection.  I have one quote in, but have used a quote comparison service this morning  to see if it is fair.

teapot2

So sorry to hear about Mr Redo and the total shock of his death.  So hard and so much to do while trying to process such a huge loss.  You may already know this but when my OH died I found contacting the bereavement team at banks, insurance companies and other big outfits was useful in that it cut out swathes of explaining again and again and sometimes it speeded things up.  Glad you are applying for bereavement support grant.  Mine helped to pay for the funeral and then having £100 coming in every month was a bit of a help though I lived on savings and credit cards till I could face working again.  

When you do get to the Registrar might be worth thinking about if you might need extra short copies of the death certificate if there are likely to be companies that will require sight of a hard copy to be posted to them.  Try and take someone with you, I cried buckets and they drove.  Sending a virtual squishy hug. x

redofromstart

On the food front I roasted a chicken last night - partly so there is something for me, but also for scraps for his poor dog. Made DS1s favourite soup too.

Hoping the sun stays out today so I can flea drop the animals, and get the boys to mow the lawn.  We could have done it yesterday but we had visitors in the afternoon.

Greying_Pilgrim

Redo - I don't know if you've got to the Registrar bit yet, but when my mother died, we had a telephone appt to do the registering.  They phoned us at a (pre-arranged) set time, and we'd been informed what information we would need to have to hand.  I have to say, I'm not sure if that was the way it's now done in our area, or whether it was brought in as a pandemic measure, but it helped my father to be in the comfort of his own home, not having to make an effort to go out/drive etc.  Within reason, we had as long as we needed to complete the questions.

Greying X

debtfreewannabe321

redofromstart said:

On the food front I roasted a chicken last night - partly so there is something for me, but also for scraps for his poor dog. Made DS1s favourite soup too.

Hoping the sun stays out today so I can flea drop the animals, and get the boys to mow the lawn.  We could have done it yesterday but we had visitors in the afternoon.

Mr Redo's poor dog, it reminds me of the film Hachi (not sure if I spelled this correctly) I cried for weeks after watching that. Man's best friend indeed, I bet he is feeling so lost without him. 

Sending so much love, it doesn't seem adequate just sending well wishes over a computer, but I hope you know we all mean them

Hoping the sun stays out for you

redofromstart

Thanks GP, I can't do anything about registering the death until there is a post mortem outcome, so at least another couple of weeks.  He was over two hours away and the county he was in do in person appointments but the just over the border closest office is only 31 miles away and in a town I know well so I will probably do that. Both SSs have kindly offered to go and do it for me if I don't feel up to it.

The dog is a youngish black lurcher and was his best dog ever, I am not a huge fan of dogs in general but she is a lovely gentle dog who likes to lean on you and have cuddles on the sofa. She is best buddies with all of the cats and I can hear her playing with the kitten now. She has two speeds - flat out (zoom!) and flat out (on the sofa).  She came on pretty much all of our walks, and did the Leicestershire round, snowdonia, lots of Dales and Wales and various coastal paths with him.  

Debsnewbudget

So sorry you have to face all of this.
I agree with getting extra copies of the certificate is a very useful thing to have, I think I got 5 for my mum so always had one to send to the companies that needed t.