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Money Moral Dilemma: Our neighbour is selling clothes we've given them - should we say something?

edited 4 October 2022 at 3:32PM in Ebay, auctions, car boot sales, post & parcels
79 replies 52.8K views
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This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner and I gave our neighbour some clothes that no longer fit us, as well as some expensive designer underwear that had never been worn. To our horror, they're now advertising what we've given them for sale online. Should we say something about them taking advantage of our generosity and risk a good friendship, or keep quiet? 

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  • michelle09michelle09 Forumite
    912 Posts
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts Name Dropper
    I'd be unimpressed but if they put them online then chances are they see nothing wrong with it (morally, obviously they can legally do it).

    I'd certainly not give them anything else but it depends how much you want to let it impact the relationship.
  • NBLondonNBLondon Forumite
    5.3K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Should we say something about them taking advantage of our generosity and risk a good friendship, or keep quiet?

    What good friendship? If they were friends, wouldn't they have suggested selling before you gave them the stuff? Offered to sell it for you? Offered to split the proceeds?


    1) Say nothing, but don't give them free stuff in future
    2) Say something and guilt them into handing over some of the proceeds
    3) Set up a fake e-mail address, offer to buy the goods, then make repeated excuses about not being able to collect/ask if they will deliver.   Repeat until they get fed up.
    Wash your Knobs and Knockers... Keep the Postie safe!
  • LangerhanLangerhan Forumite
    97 Posts
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper
    Are you friends as well as neighbours? Otherwise, it seems a bit odd to have given them clothes (especially underwear!). Was there any discussion of why they might want them?
    Mortgage start date: 01/10/2021
    Original mortgage debt:
    Remaining debt (02/06/2023):
  • Ed264Ed264 Forumite
    67 Posts
    10 Posts First Anniversary
    To me, this comes across as a devious scheme by your friends to make whatever money they could get for the clothes. As you are neighbours, to fall out over it could have unpleasant results, but I certainly wouldn't trust them again. Don't give them anything else. 
  • JacquJacqu Forumite
    7 Posts
    Tenth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Did you give them the clothes because they'd asked for them or said they liked them?
    Or did you offer and they accepted, perhaps because they thought it would be polite to do so? In that case, you can't expect them to wear then without having chosen them/shown interest?
  • honestcovehonestcove Forumite
    57 Posts
    10 Posts First Anniversary
    You could buy the items back any give them to the same people again, and again…….a bit of an expense but charity or maintaining the moral high ground has a cost.
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