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Money Moral Dilemma: Our neighbour is selling clothes we've given them - should we say something?

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  • AlexanderBirch77, you reaction and comment is way over the top and lacks any kind of compassion. You have no thought for the possible desperation when it come to a choice between clothes or food. Either way, the items are now theirs and its got nothing to do with morals😠
  • You gave them something for nothing and they are profiting from it... and you're annoyed this? Because you didn't think of selling them? They were profiting from it by getting something for free anyway. Would you like your friends to make a little from them or throw the bits they don't want into the wheelie bin?
  • Personally..   just take it that they aren't the people you thought and don't have your values. Not worth ruining a relationship over but in future either donate to charity under the full knowledge someone will be buying it or sell them on vinted/ ebay or other selling site. 
    If I donate stuff I usually say ( after a similar experience) that they are given free under the understanding they will be passed on for free 
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,765 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    Personally..   just take it that they aren't the people you thought and don't have your values. Not worth ruining a relationship over but in future either donate to charity under the full knowledge someone will be buying it or sell them on vinted/ ebay or other selling site. 
    If I donate stuff I usually say ( after a similar experience) that they are given free under the understanding they will be passed on for free 
    And they have a very different (and accurate) understanding of the word 'gift' unlike the originator of this MMD...
  • When you give people items that you no longer want or need, there is always potential that they could re-gift, sell or throw away the items. You may have done it out of kindness to help them and so it might feel like a bit of a slap in the face that they are selling them on. 

    Did you give them the clothes because you felt that they would benefit from them? Are they in need? If so, perhaps their financial need is greater and so that is why they are selling them? 

    If you find it uncomfortable, then perhaps you shouldn’t give them any more clothes and can gift them to a charity, sell them yourself and give to charity or sell them and keep the money? 



  • You gave them the clothes because they were no longer of any use to you, so they became their property. It would have been nice if they had told you what they did with them and offered you half the proceeds, but perhaps they need the money which is why they sold them, if so they may have found it embarrassing to explain. It is not worth spoiling a good relationship with your neighbours over this, just put it down to experience and next time give anything you don't want to a charity shop, where  you know the money is going to a good cause.
  • tom5640
    tom5640 Posts: 16 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    Can't believe this is even the dilemma for this week - you should have just sold the clothes yourself.  Although likely you didn't because you couldn't be bothered (understandable too) , and so therefore the money they make from the clothes will cover the administration involved in the sale.  
  • Sky_
    Sky_ Posts: 605 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 5 October 2022 at 11:25AM
    I'd cringe a bit at their tactlessness at selling the things in such a way that you found out about it, but once I got over that, I wouldn't really be bothered.  You've benefitted from decluttering your house a bit and they're happy to have the hassle of selling the items.  There's always a risk that people sell gifted items, even if it is a bit thoughtless of them not to check with you first.

    You could have sold the items if you were bothered about the value of them but you chose not to, as is your prerogative. 

    I'd forget about it and continue with the friendship, though I probably wouldn't gift them any cast off items in future.
    2022. 2% MF challenge. £730/3000
  • I agree with other posters, if you gave the items without conditions you did so with the acceptance they no longer had a value to you, it's not your concern what your neighbours do with them. 

    Also, how do you know they aren't planning to split the spoils with you? They might offer you half the cash, or buy a nice bottle or bunch of something to say thank you but haven't wanted to say anything in case the items don't actually sell or don't sell for enough to bother splitting. People seem a bit too quick to get offended without knowing a full story.
  • REJP
    REJP Posts: 325 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    They are not your clothes any more.
    Why not sell them yourself?
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