Money Moral Dilemma: Our neighbour is selling clothes we've given them - should we say something?

MalMonroe

Why say anything at all? I don't get it.

You gave them clothes that you didn't want. They obviously don't want them either.

You had the opportunity to sell them yourselves but chose to do a kind thing. Now you want to turn that kind gesture on its head by being churlish about the fact that they sold what you gave them. Let it go.

It could be that your neighbours are feeling the pinch these days, as are many of us. They could have said, 'no thanks we don't want your cast offs' but they didn't. They accepted the kind gesture, as they obviously thought it was.

I'm not sure why this is even a thing. Nor why you're upset. 

What you did was good. Now let it be.

MalMonroe

tasty_snacks said:

If they're selling second hands clothes and underwear online, they could be in a bit of financial bother.

Who isn't, right?

You should mention that you've seen it, and ask if they're doing OK. 

No, they shouldn't mention anything. Their gesture was good. Their fury isn't.

Chumpy1962

Say nothing, good neighbours are a rare breed, but give your unwanted clothes to a charity shop next time, or you could even sell them yourself!

I'm also curious to know how you found out that they had done this.

jedav

You gave them a gift, thus the clothing items belong to them for them to do with as they wish.  I can understand that you might find that galling if you envisaged being kind and their wearing them but you chose to give the clothes away rather than sell them yourselves.  In hindsight the suggestion that you could manage expectations is a good one, although they might not have complied.  Something for us all to learn from.

[Deleted User]

I do give stuff away on Freecycle and I always bear in mind that people can sell on my given stuff. I do know that once given they can do what they like with it, so I won’t bother saying anything. 

NBLondon

Maxson said:

Items that have been offloaded on us by the neigbours and we haven't used only go to charity for this reason. Or sometimes the tip. Lots of things I never asked for or even wanted or had anywhere to store. The most vexing for me was a Claud Butler bike which had been left to go rusty in places and had flat tyres and broken gears but could have been fixed up and made nice. I rode it a few times despite the broken gears but didn't like it and I already have another bike. The savvy thing to do would be fix and sell it but I gave it to a charity that fixes bikes instead.

Why not say no?  Did they offer you the bike because they thought you like fixing bikes?  You could have pointed them straight to the charity...

My neighbours are my neighbours - they aren't specifically friends.  Sometimes one of them might offer us stuff they can't use and we say either "Yes - Thanks"  (when it was steak that they weren't going to eat) or "No Thanks" when we cant use it either.   I wouldn't offer them something unless I already knew or thought they might use/want it (excess garden produce) and if they said No thanks - it wouldn't be a big deal.

So, I don't get the original poster.  Why did they offer clothes to the neighbours? If the neighbours are also friends then OP should know what might be wanted/used and the neighbours feel able to honestly say No Thanks.

ginger_chocolate

This is such a weird situation and I feel like, if it's real, there's a lot missing from the story.

Why would you give your neighbours clothes? Did they ask for them? Did you advertise that you had them? Did you just randomly show up at their door like some bizarre out of season Santa Claus?

How do you know they're selling them? Are you following them? Maybe trying to check if they're being naughty or nice?

And also, why do you give a carp what they do with clothes that you were giving away for free? Are you just annoyed that you didn't think of selling them yourself? Are you annoyed that people would rather have actual money to spend on stuff they need than designer underwear (I mean, you could sell a set of designer undies and buy ten pairs of nice M&S knickers - I know which I'd rather have)?

This is so weird.

CapeTown

So a few years ago I was moving house. I had a nice stone bird table in the garden.  My friend asked if she could have as I was going. I said yes. A couple of years later, she too was moving and she listed this table on ebay for a tidy sum and got it. Still !!!!!! about this. Never acknowledged it was mine, never gave me money or a donation to charity 

Pollycat

CapeTown said:

So a few years ago I was moving house. I had a nice stone bird table in the garden.  My friend asked if she could have as I was going. I said yes. A couple of years later, she too was moving and she listed this table on ebay for a tidy sum and got it. Still !!!!!! about this. Never acknowledged it was mine, never gave me money or a donation to charity 

Different scenario.
Your friend asked for it.
You could have said 'no'.
The friends of the originator of the MMD freely gifted the clothes.
You should have told your friend that if/when she no longer wanted the bird table she should offer it back to you.
Would you have wanted it back?
Or were you just peeved because she made money out of it?

CarrieVS

Were you going to sell it but your neighbours asked for it? If you only planned ever to give them away, what are you losing here? You're just being upset that someone else is gaining something.

It is a little bit of a cheek to accept something for free from a friend and then sell it, but I think it would be petty and spiteful to make a big deal out of it. Just don't give them stuff again, if it bothers you?