Money Moral Dilemma: Our neighbour is selling clothes we've given them - should we say something?

Blancsanglier

I suppose it depends on WHY you gave them the clothes? Are they not well off and you thought you’d help them out? Did they keep saying they liked them so you felt obliged to give them? Did you just not want them so decided to offload to them?  Either way I think it’s not nice of them to sell them, they should have at least said they no longer need them, do you mind if I sell them on.
Just don’t give them anything else and YOU sell them! Say “I saw some clothes for sale just like I gave you so I thought I’d try selling mine” 

Patrick_David

You gave the items away - it's up to them what they do with them!  If it upsets you so much, next time sell your unwanted items yourself.  Can't see what the problem is.

Pollycat

Blancsanglier said:

I suppose it depends on WHY you gave them the clothes? Are they not well off and you thought you’d help them out? Did they keep saying they liked them so you felt obliged to give them? Did you just not want them so decided to offload to them?  Either way I think it’s not nice of them to sell them, they should have at least said they no longer need them, do you mind if I sell them on.
Just don’t give them anything else and YOU sell them! Say “I saw some clothes for sale just like I gave you so I thought I’d try selling mine” 

I disagree.
A gift is a gift.
Once you gift something, it is not yours to dictate what happens to it.
It no longer belongs to you.

REJP said:

They are not your clothes any more.
Why not sell them yourself?

A lot of people find it a faff to list clothes, pack them up, take them to the dispatch point.
I don't. 
I sell my unwanted items on eBay.
If they don't sell, I decide if one of my friends would like it and offer it to them unconditionally.
I say "if you take it and decide you don't want it, do whatever you like with it". Because it's not mine anymore.
If they don't want it, it goes to the hospice charity shop.

Bonnypitlad

I hope that none of the clothes were silk?
I’m still having nightmares about those poor silk worms

[Deleted User]

Pollycat said:

AlexanderBirch77 said:

I’m surprised at the number of people who think this behaviour is ok. It’s not, it’s crude, tasteless and morally questionable. They sound like selfish chancers and I would distance myself from them. 

The neighbours are perfectly within their rights to do whatever they wish with a gift.

What have rights to do with the response to a kind gesture?  We don't have to keep everything we've been offered, but if we receive something we haven't any use for shouldn't we, out of consideration for the giver, dispose of it discreetly?  It is crude, tasteless and morally questionable to throw the kindness of someone in their face.  That is what happened here, hurt was caused by the recipient of the gift immediately and blatantly offering it for sale.  It's about appreciation and decency, not legal rights.

Pollycat

k_k_k_katy said:

Pollycat said:

AlexanderBirch77 said:

I’m surprised at the number of people who think this behaviour is ok. It’s not, it’s crude, tasteless and morally questionable. They sound like selfish chancers and I would distance myself from them. 

The neighbours are perfectly within their rights to do whatever they wish with a gift.

What have rights to do with the response to a kind gesture?  We don't have to keep everything we've been offered, but if we receive something we haven't any use for shouldn't we, out of consideration for the giver, dispose of it discreetly?  It is crude, tasteless and morally questionable to throw the kindness of someone in their face.  That is what happened here, hurt was caused by the recipient of the gift immediately and blatantly offering it for sale.  It's about appreciation and decency, not legal rights.

Rights have everything to do with it.

Let me remind you what the MMD says:

My partner and I gave our neighbour some clothes that no longer fit us, as well as some expensive designer underwear that had never been worn. To our horror, they're now advertising what we've given them for sale online. Should we say something about them taking advantage of our generosity and risk a good friendship, or keep quiet? 

If someone had given me something as a gift and came round to complain that I'd sold it, I'd tell them:
"I am perfectly within my rights to do whatever I want with a gift."
Because I am.

This is what the originator of the MMD may face if they say something about them taking advantage of their generosity.
Good friendship or not, I'd take exception to someone tackling me about a gift they'd given me.
Not crude.
Not tasteless.
Not morally questionable.

You are welcome to disagree.

tasty_snacks

If they're selling second hands clothes and underwear online, they could be in a bit of financial bother.

Who isn't, right?

You should mention that you've seen it, and ask if they're doing OK. 

Maxson

Items that have been offloaded on us by the neigbours and we haven't used only go to charity for this reason. Or sometimes the tip. Lots of things I never asked for or even wanted or had anywhere to store. The most vexing for me was a Claud Butler bike which had been left to go rusty in places and had flat tyres and broken gears but could have been fixed up and made nice. I rode it a few times despite the broken gears but didn't like it and I already have another bike. The savvy thing to do would be fix and sell it but I gave it to a charity that fixes bikes instead.

Groom

Once you give somebody something you have no further say in what happens to it. Either don’t give them anything else or if you do, tell them if they are of no use you’d like them back as you know someone else who would like them. 

donsaul

If you made your gifts conditional (and the condition was not to sell them) then you have a grievance. 
Most gifts are unconditional, and if yours were, then you've only the option of not giving them any more.