NST January 2022: Janus

Thrifty_Taylor

Sending very large hugs across the sea to you @mothernerd. You're doing a great job, accept the help of others when offered & look after yourself too x

NSD#6
Feeling a bit under the weather, but battled through another day. Finished a great book with my pupil, The Goldfish Boy by Lisa Thompson, neither of us could read the chapters fast enough! Saw both customers that let me down yesterday, so all sorted there too. Washed up after tea & did some sewing. A lovely bath with lots of hot water & my book ☺️

Grateful for seeing v-shapes of flying geese on my way home, a pupil holding my hand whilst doing the daily mile, good books, hot baths

mothernerd

I came to the bungalow on Sunday afternoon/ early evening with 4 bags (mostly paperwork) including house deeds, leftover bit's from my dad's and brother's deaths (one insurance claim is the last bit of dad's estate but only comes into force now, one bowl, 2 sets of cutlery (so I can donate mum's bowls/ plates/cutlery and any utensils I don't like, stationery, laptop. I'd worked my way across my bed and then through the shelves gathering anything I needed or might be useful.

I bought a tv guide on Saturday (don't watch much) as I planned to select one film/ programme each afternoon and evening, to take a break from other activities. Sunday's the only day I did both (have had things like Heartbeat on in the background - not bothered to follow the plot overmuch but good tunes). Had found the right contact number for mum's church on Saturday

Decided that sorting the photos was a nice gentle activity as in brother alone/ brother and gf/ mum alone/ mum and partner/ mum plus friends (IOM/ A/ J)/ historic (my grandma and grandad's families) + partial family trees. Separated into categories and in plastic pockets. Still have lodger's pile (mum was his daughter's godmother) and small sections with children and/or family groups belonging to some of my cousins. Watched 'Call the Midwife' and went to bed.

Monday I was awake early but still sleepy, so read for a while. As it started coming light, I felt more awake so wrote notes for 2 of the people on the still to be notified list and waited until after 7 am to take them to the post box. Was going to take mum's walker but it was boxed in by furniture and packed bags and boxes. So walked very slowly and had lots of rests. held onto the post box before returning. A man passed me then turned and asked if I needed help, linked me and took me all the way to my door (and gave me a hug).

DS2 and his gf were coming. They arrived too late for the food bank opening times. They ate in the car then went to a friend's house to take tests because they had been at a Christening the day before. I asked DS2 to get a broken chest of drawers out of my room (I'd picked up the stuff that was in the space at the bottom (3 drawers missing) and put it on the bed. I unscrewed the lamp I'd already put outside (then attacked it with the secateurs when it decided to be awkward). 

They took about 7 sacks of clothing to the two newest cs in the centre of the mall told them which way to go so they could park on the street rather than pay for the car park (minimum parking is 3 hours and they were going to be under half an hour. One of the shops had said she could accept small items of furniture so I told them to take one of the dining chairs to show the lady before they took the rest. It got rejected because it had no fire label and I stopped DS2 as he was bringing it back in, insisting they all go on the tip pile.

One of the chairs did have a very faded fire label but not sure one would be enough. Chairs are probably about 35 + years old, as fire safety regulations were brought in after the Woolworths fire in Oldham Street Manchester in 1987 (DS2 was about 6 months old). Many of the victims died from inhaling toxic fumes from the foam upholstery.

Tip run was one broken up set of drawers, lamp, a few bits from the garden (including my cement board) and the 4 dining chairs. A few bits stayed behind because the car was full. Then they started on my room (cleaning, hoovering, tidying - I did explain that I was doing several jobs including sorting through the tins mum wouldn't use or had gone off). Most of all I wanted the four underbed drawers emptying - all the contents came from the old house 5 years ago and have never been used since. I did the 2 I could get at whilst they were at the tip. 

I asked them to get down all the decorative items on top of the kitchen cabinets and asked about the lentils and other bits decanted into jars - they took some of those. They also picked out some of the animal garden ornaments - lots of children walk past their house on the way to school and he wants the front garden to be one that small children will point out to their parents (this may down to the way I got them to walk across Manchester when they were small - let's go and look at the train -model shop had a train set that ran across the shop window and along the top of the wall at the back, now we'll go to the little park (swing and slide behind the town hall).

My niece came - she kept saying it was a bit too early to look through grandma's things but she did like the little cross I'd set aside for her, agreed with my assessment of the bedding (I was only going to keep the newer stuff for people to look through, she's added a silver throw and 2 matching bedspreads to her pile). I'd mentioned gnomes and hedgehogs on the phone the other day and was very pleased with the rattan hedgehog I'd saved for her (one of the things I bought for mum in Keswick). I offered her a purple tartan throw for my brother (or he'll definitely take it if we say it's for the dog) and the little gnome bookends (she redid her tiny yard last summer with upright pallets with lengths of drainpipe slotted in to hold a few plants and a sprinkling of gnomes).

She's coming back on Thursday with a friend and a car (my brother's got hers atm). She's going to look through the baking cupboard and all the lakeland moulds (can be used for cakes but also jelly or blancmange). Best of all she may take all the fake flowers - she has an extension with a see through roof. Actual plants and flowers wouldn't grow but she sometimes tries to brighten it up with fakes. She'll also have some of the lentils and other things decanted into jars.

DS2 and his gf went to visit another family member, would be back about 8.30 pm and would pick up Chinese on the way back. I made my niece open her Christmas card as soon as she arrived. I had got money out for mum but wanted to know for sure she had put money in the cards for my brother and both daughters (otherwise it would have been another entry in the little pink book of mum). I had asked my niece earlier in the week if brother had any money (I've paid out nearly £200 this week and hadn't much to begin with). She said he had the money set aside for his bathroom.

I brought the first file box down from on top of the wardrobe (one of the reasons I want to clear stuff out is because I want a clear space to put the paperwork so that it doesn't escape and hide in odd corners). It was nearly empty except I had hidden a chocolate orange and a twin pack of chocolate hobnobs in there to stop me eating them (DS2 later packed them in one of the food boxes and doesn't know which one - never mind, he paid attention when I stopped him putting more tins in my wardrobe, because the ones at the bottom were old and needed to be brought to the top).

Second file box had all mum's stuff including her will (and a copy) as written by me. When we went on video call with my brother he was on about a silver tin and stocks and shares. this is from a letter she wrote to both of us after our brother's death. Silver tin is long gone (when she moved to the bungalow, I couldn't find it and was worried that one of her partner's children had thrown it) and I think the shares went on a nice holiday (only her former employers).

Anyway, he doesn't want to take on responsibility for grandma's house and mum's lodger of >20 years and he doesn't want to move into the bungalow, he wants to sell it (well actually he wants me to sell it, of course) so I can't live here. Well I can live here whilst I sort everything out (as long as I leave stuff where it is so that he can have a wander through in maybe 6 weeks and then decide he doesn't want anything - plus ca change - not hunting for a cedilla apple). My grammar is taking a nosedive.

He also wanted to know how much money he would get (only because he thought all his benefits would stop and he needed to know if there would be enough for him to live on for the next 6/7 years until he gets retirement pension). Anyway did my back of the envelope calculation (predicated upon what I thought I needed to save to be able to buy him out if/ when anything happened to mum so that we ended up with equal shares). So he's happy that he will be able to survive and my niece told him he will keep his PIP, only the means tested benefits will go, once he has some actual (not theoretical, pre-probate) money.

I also cadged his Christmas money - I explained that when both dad and our brother died I ended up paying their direct debits for months as well as my own and quite frankly I can't afford to do that. Wrote it in my book and offered my niece a receipt - having seen my notebook and the notes in my account book from disputes with the WTC people she said that she was satisfied I had it covered. So I have money to feed people after the funeral and won't have to make up individual doggy bags and suggest we all go and sit in the park. 

Niece went to catch a bus (doesn't like the canal bank in the dark). and DS2 and his gf returned, dished out food and then went back to work on my room -hoovered everywhere, moved the bedding into the other room (already cleared), boxed stuff up, moved some into the front room, put other boxes into the space where the broken drawers had been and the rest along one wall so that most of the floor is clear, made my bed up properly and put the little table flat on the bed for my CPAP machine. The bedspread I noticed had marks on (I went to the fridge and was throwing the things I pulled out across to the bed, couldn't find one of them later and it spilled onto the bedspread before I found it) went into the wash.

I accidently set the door alarm off, throwing cans outside. Waited for them to reply, then told them about mum (had left a phone message but that was a very old number) and they will send someone out to remove the alarm or send a jiffy bag for me to post it back. Another tick on one of my lists. Was after ten when they left so I had a shower and crawled into bed.

I offered DS2 two photos of mum holding the Rugby League Cup surrounded by members of our winning team (1971) and also the little scrapbook I made up from newspaper cuttings, mum's copy of his graduation photo (I have one so that will now go to his dad), he will look through other family photos another day. I gave them their Christmas presents and because he was meeting DS1 last night, I gave him the presents for DS1, his wife and the grandpuppy.

They gave me roses when they arrived, presented me with an early birthday present - a new dolly truck, in case I need it before my birthday and a short while before they left they gave me a very special black and white photo - the first scan of my first grandchild (don't tell anyone until all the people who need to know have been told). they did tell the other relative they visited so I have someone to be excited with, if I need to. I asked what they were 'into' and when they looked blank I said that I had lots of cross stitch patterns of chibi Dr Who figures (darling d-i-l is a fellow Whovian) and the answer was elephants.

Grateful for help, straight talking (but if I'm doing the work, I'll do it my way) and first scan

greent

Oooh - that's super exciting news, mothernerd - how wonderful! 😊

lcc86

Evening all 

A busy day at work today but I enjoyed it. When I have the odd busy day I like it, but they're few and far between so am still glad I'm moving on.

One of my rabbits had a VERY expensive trip to the vets today for some investigations into an issue, paid on the cc, will submit an insurance claim once treatment is finished, which, from the sounds of it, could be a while!

Nothing else to report today.

f0xh0les

Congratulations on your pregnancy mothernerd.

ldee2111

NSD 5/16

Grateful for a bit more to do at work today, for getting washing done and hung, and for a new series to watch on tv. 

beanielou

Some lovely news Mothernerd.

apple_muncher

Congrats mothernerd on the news!!!

My main impression from your post, though, is that you pulled at the post box 😆😆😆

Deni_debt-free_dreamer

Wow mothernerd, first granchild how exciting!

Been very busy at work with z00m meetings and actual meetings.  Paid for DD2's phone repair yesterday but today was a NSD.  Managed 10 minutes of reading yesterday of my next book grp read, not enjoying it much so far.  Slept through my alarm today, grateful that DD2 woke me up!

Gratitudes - DD2 making tea tonight; deadlines met so didn't have to stay late at work; getting DD2's phone repaired at a reasonable price

love Deni

apple_muncher

Today I am grateful for clear skies, for strong coffee, for a great line manager, for satnav on my phone (especially on the unknown back roads in the dark), for fleecy blankets.