NST January 2022: Janus

mothernerd

f0xh0les said:

Do you think minimalists have to spend more on heating, or warm clothes? 

Just wondering what they would do without a mass of candles to light, or blankets on the end of the sofa to snuggle down in.   Would you only have green apples in a fruit bowl? All the other fruit would have to be 'filed' in a cupboard in neat  rows like soldiers on an army parade.   Would you even have a fruit bowl?  All these questions!

Anyway, have to clean stuff and observe how our glorious PM tries to wriggle off this particular hook.  Will check in later

Mothernerd - masses and masses of hugs.

I find the younger male ones are either  
1) jetsetters who can work from anywhere and travel the world with one bag of high tech stuff and one travel bag of clothing (usually pots of money but this could be from the sale of large apartments and other goods or just hard work - doing their high tech thingummy bobs which are mainly beyond my comprehension). If I were being really mean I'd want to throw a baby at them - let's see how far they get then. Okay if the baby can support it's own head you can put it in a thing that goes on your front or back, but you still need nappies (and some way of cleaning them if you're using terry type ones - I did have a few that were the smaller shaped ones), 6 sets of clothing would get you through 2 days if they were at any of the throwing up stages (one day if it's a bug), suitable food, some method of boiling water for the food. I know babies in the developing world use a thousandth of the resources that ours do but they wouldn't be living in exactly the same way as the locals and unless it's a stable climate other clothing.
2)  the cabin in the woods type (sorry abundant I know these might be generic stereotypes and do not apply to everyone). At some point between relationships they decided to go for the kind of lifestyle that suits them. Cheaper housing options (just the rooms they need - no family room, separate dining room). A good solid but older couch (no cushions, especially not tiny ones that have to be moved from the bed each night, no throws, basic wardrobe, probably higher end tv, tech etc). To be honest I do have some sympathy with this viewpoint. I like things that are functional - a good solid bed with an extra firm mattress, I was 50 yo before I went in a shop and chose my own couch (2 seater and 3 seater in chocolate brown leather - years ago I was told about the easy clean features of leather and it generally looks okay even when battered). On cushions - I have 2, have been given other people's castoffs in the past but don't really get along with them unless they're big enough to snuggle into or act as a headrest (or are properly upholstered ones) and my boys used to fight with them or push them off onto the floor. To appreciate the male viewpoint on cushions I recommend the episode of 'Coupling' where Jack Davenport is forced into expressing opinions on them.
This is also an upgrade on a common pattern I see here (not a lot of experience of elsewhere) where the male has a car, a large tv, high grade tech and clothes (quality variable according to income and lifestyle) and the women have the houses (council flat to mansion) and the children and every so often the male is told that things are not working and is asked to move on or the male meets someone new ( really sexist stereotype men only choose to leave once they have someone else lined up to do their washing and cooking - even if it's only their mum) and then moves on or is 'found out' and is asked to leave (with varying degrees of prejudice - some women will put up with repeated offences).

The female minimalists usually have something to say that resonates with me. Minimalist Mom said something about the reasons we can't let go of things (there were about 4) but one of them was 'fantasy you' - one example is about keeping materials for crafts you used to enjoy or plan to start one day, when in reality you have since taken up yoga, started another craft and enjoy hiking at weekends in addition to work, school runs and childcare, keeping the house (even if others do their share they often have to be directed). You do not have space in your life for another hobby and keeping those things will cause stress and guilt. 
You may want to be the sort of person who entertains friends for afternoon tea and gradually acquire the 'trappings' - lace tablecloth, delicate china cups and a 'vintage' cake stand but if you have multiple children and your tea party venue is frequently used as a football pitch, it's unlikely to become a reality.

I'd also recommend Dawn from 'A slob comes clean'. However I'd also say that though minimalist mom in particular has a very clean minimal home we are talking American houses so having everything in it's place is easier if the garage/ workshop is bigger than my whole house (I understand that the bigger the space, the more thing you buy to fill it).

Many of the things we have in our houses aren't necessary - and as for the stuff babies and children 'need' these days - if you're advertising a very expensive child's car before Christmas then that was not a good toy for your child (not wanted, not needed, not suitable for that age group's developmental needs) it was you trying to show off to your friends and neighbours.

I have had a gravy boat (think I've had 2) in my life but not replaced it when it broke. Gravy tastes just as good from a standard jug, pyrex jug or even straight from the pan. I have owned a fruit bowl (brought one back from Sorrento approximately 16 years ago). However I have also used a basket, a casserole with a broken lid (later used to grow indoor bulbs and when it finally broke to stabilise the patch of dirt outside my back gate which frequently turned to mud in winter), a clay plant pot (very good for storing veg on the windowsill, and for candles) and any random item suitable for the purpose.

My first child had a purple carrycot given by friends (with the addition of 'transporter' wheels from a charity shop) and his proper pram was picked up by my brother's then gf and her father who saw some children playing with it on a diy store carpark - they put it in the car, he did a bit of work on it (owned a garage) and brought it to me.

I think the best compromise is hygge (hoo-gar) where the focus is on simplifying but also creating a comfy home (so throws and candles are in, colours generally muted, floors are clear - rugs only mean 'trip hazard' to me now).

The house is warmed up now so I'll collect my food from the microwave and go and sit in the front room for a while. Just heard that the funeral will be on the 26th so lots to sort but enough time to do it and take much needed breaks.

Grateful for leftovers, sleep and a chocolate orange (lifted the first file box down from the top of the wardrobe when my niece was here and found I'd hidden a chocolate orange and a twinpack of chocolate hobnobs from myself for Christmas). Put them down and when DS2 and his gf were doing my room DS2 packed them in one of the food boxes. So I got out one of the packs of biscuits mum had hidden.

apple_muncher

beanielou said:

Happy new car to me yesterday.

A NSD today. 

Oooh, exciting! The car, that is, not the NSD

DrCarrie

Love your analysis of the minimalists @mothernerd - and sending love. 

NSD today bringing me up to 4. 

'Went' to yoga in the living room via zoom and been out for 3,000 step walk in the rain. Oven on and batch cook food to go in it. Busy day at work, and finished up with 2 lovely people, they have done so well too. Very satisfying. B00ts delivery came today, it was like a second Christmas, should need nothing for 3 months. Got new D0ve bath salts to try may slip into a bath with candles after dinner. Put the recycling out and in went, all the stored up jars - in the name of minimalism! 

Grateful for:
- taking good care of myself 
- a lovely end to the working day 
- a cozy falt to return to

ditty1234

Hi everybody - can't keep up at the moment - grateful for going back to swimming, for nice b'day w ds1 yesterday, and for an afterdinner walk w ds1 tonight. So tired I could just go straignt to bed though!.

lcc86

@greent I have a habit of losing my debit/credit card when I use it too much for contactless, at least its slightly less hassle if I lose the oyster  I think you can put season tickets on it too so can do that if I need it. Been ages since I've commuted by train! I'm expected in twice a week to begin with, we'll see how it goes but it's cheaper to do Pay as I go rather than a flexible season ticket, at least for now anyway.

@abundant1972 I'm a bit of a minimalist, not too extreme but I go through everything once a year and get rid of stuff I no longer like/want/need and try not to buy too much stuff. My other half, on the other hand, has completely filled our basement with rubbish because he thinks he needs two (sometimes three) of everything! He even has car parts for cars he no longer has and has no use for! Drives me mad.

Planned spend day today. Bought water filters cartridges, some makeup (replacing old stuff that had run out), pain relief patches and dishwasher tablets. Found most things cheaper in Savers or ebay than it would have been elsewhere. Also took 6 books out of the library, should keep me going for a while! 

Managed a walk this morning and a lunchtime swim, my back definitely benefitted. 

32b3in2013

Good evening

NSD 7/16+ for me today. I went for an hour traipse around various inpost locker sites today as they were all full.  It meant that the rings on my watch we’re closed quite early again

Grateful for a supportive line manager, food from the freezer and Diet Coke today.

32b3

Edited to say - Abundant,  I follow a minimalist wardrobe theory. I have 33 items of clothing/shoes etc to wear for 3 months and change them over with the seasons.  

Buffythedebtslayer

abundant1972 said:

Good morning 🌞

Just a quick question before work - are there any minimalists amongst our ranks? I have been watching a few YouTube creators and I think the lifestyle makes a lot of sense... de-cluttering, only spending on what is needed/meaningful... I think I am probably part way there already but I have been inspired to look into it more and maybe embrace it as a way of living... If anyone lives like this and has any pointers or can signpost me to good resources online then that would be much appreciated!!! 🙏🏻

It is one of my new year's resolutions Abundant. I have recently come to realise that how I live with mum in a fairly large house and garden that once what ever happens next I won't be able to sustain that life or keep it all. I have for a long time felt having "stuff" is a pain, everything needs looking after. On New year's eve I donated 12 bags to charity. It is my intention to give away a lot of stuff. I am already quite minimalist in terms of clothes, leggings and tunics out of work, black skirts and plain tops in work - have branched out to dresses but I really only have enough clothes to fill a small wardrobe and about 5 pairs of shoes. All mostly black. My biggest source of clutter is the pets (!) so I am going to sell a lot of that and also donate some of my beloved books. Sell some items of clothes. I think I still have a lot but my friends think I am already nuts! Ideally, I want to be able pack up my "stuff" and put in it in my car. or a small lorry.... 

Buffythedebtslayer

Mothernerd, am so amazed by what you have been doing. I am sending you love. I hope you rest and that your sons keep being kind. XXX 

abundant1972

Good evening 🌔

Haha. I had a big smile reading everyone's feedback on minimalism - especially the thought of a man being hoisted with a baby and trying to be sparse haha! It took me back to the comedy series Absolutely Fabulous - I think there were a minimalist couple on that - Betina and Max haha... and they had a baby... I'll have to did out the episodes. I remember she nearly had a breakdown with the baby haha. 

I'm breaking the mold as a guy being neither a yuppy (and rich) nor between relationships and in a cabin in the woods... although that does sound kinda nice!!! Although... after watching the horror film of that name - maybe not 😱 lol. As I type I am huddled under a throw surrounded by 4 scatter cushions (there's barely room for me!) and 2 more on the floor haha. Are 6 really essential...? (adds cushions to list of things to be scrutinised haha!). I was looking at how monks live in Thailand - a simple routine life - and they only own their robes! Not a scatter cushion to be seen haha. Hmmm 🤔 maybe not lol. 

My guilty pleasures/addictions besides tarot cards, has been books. I have so many I read reviews on that were good for <insert latest fad> and I seem to have got them all and never read any! I started a few then stopped... i think I definitely have closure issues! Great at starting things - no follow through lol. This morning I started a journal for 2022, and am going to start a Book Reading List - with a goal to read, review, keep or donate depending on how much I get out of it... and I'm not allowed to buy anymore until I've gone through them ALL!!! like the idea of having a dedicated small-ish book area - so I can only keep those few special volumes that are genuinely meaningful. As for my tarot cards... well... I'll have to have a crash-course in e-bay selling when I have a week off to get myself organised. 

Today I am grateful for:
1) Andy Puddicombe - the Founder of Headspace. Been using this mindfulness app on and off for years... it's awesome and he is an incredible guy/inspiration (I bet he is minimalist haha) 
2) My sister for taking the lead on all things Mum/Dad related. I don't know where she gets her mental reserves. I must write her a nice thank you and make sure she knows she is appreciated
3) AbFab! I just re-watched a few clips. Funny! This is Bettina and Max (pre-baby!). The episode they have a baby ('New Best Friend') shows them in complete disarray and about as far from minimalism as you can get - thus proving your point Mothernerd haha! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhYi229qPXQ

Today = NSD number 8

Goodnight all x

Esmeralda2662

Sending hugs and best wishes to all of you that need them. 😉

NSD#2 today so must be getting into the swing of things. Only bought a newspaper and that was budgeted for.

Got a YS Moroccan pasty for 31p yesterday so took that for work lunch today along with more spiced red cabbage.

After work mum and i walked to a house in the village to collect 2 kitchen booster seats that my niece had bought online. It was easier for us to collect them as she lives about 12 miles away and has just got over covid.

Got really bad nerve pain in my arm from work so short post tonight. Just hope I can manage work tomorrow then finished till Monday.

Had a letter about my job seekers allowance National Insurance Credits and had no idea what it was about until I saw it dated back to April 2020 as they are behind with their paperwork. I've been back in work since Aug 21 so will have to ring them to check what I need to do now.

Gratitudes: being able to help my niece, a lovely plum crumble and beautiful yellow flowers on the Forsythia. 

Night all x