Mrs S…the next chapter (separation and all that comes with it)

MrsSave

Pay day! 

I’m not the best sleeper anyway, but I’m even worse when in a different bed so I’ve woken roughly every 2 hours overnight. I’ve transferred my wages to the relevant accounts and left a buffer in the wages account ready for February because even if I do receive Universal Credit it won’t be with me until around the 7th February. 

No other refunds have come through overnight and with the weekend and a bank holiday there won’t be anything until at least Tuesday now. I really hope that I won’t have to chase anyone and they all come in.

I’m going to add look for life insurance to my weekend’s tasks. I need to read up about different types and make a decision about what to go for. I’ll then cancel our current life insurance and let Mr S know so that he can sort some for himself if he wants.

MrsSave

Day 1 after Mr S moved out complete. The boys are ok on the whole, but extra cuddly and a little quiet at times. That’s to be expected and I’m just trying to reassure them that they are the most important parts of both our lives. We spent today tidying bedrooms, changing bed clothes and took a couple of hours out to have a kick around on a local beach. I did spend £13.50 on a new football (my eldest’s broke a couple of days before Christmas), a new doormat (needed and spotted the perfect one for us as soon as I walked through the door of Wilko!) and some hooks as my eldest wanted to hang a calendar up in his bedroom. I bought the Wilko own brand version of the usually expensive sticky strips.

We then went out for food with my parents. I was really in two minds about whether it was a good idea or not and even offered to stay home if the boys didn’t want to go. They said yes to going, and we actually had a really good evening. We got home around an hour ago and both boys are now fast asleep. I’ve also made my way up to bed so I definitely won’t be seeing the new year in!

The boys are with their Dad this weekend as everything is so new and fresh (in theory it would be my weekend as they’re also with him next weekend). I think they need to find their new normal as soon as possible so it’s important that they spend plenty of time in both houses before school starts back and we’re in a proper routine. I plan on sorting out Universal Credit, life insurance (and possibly income protection insurance…..I’ve done a bit of reading up on it today), taking the last of the Christmas things up the attic, and just spending some time processing what’s happening as I’m not sure it has hit me yet.

Happy New Year to everyone, and I really hope 2022 works out to be amazing for us all!

Chrystal

Wishing you a Healthy & Peaceful new year.  XX

savingholmes

Just on the life insurance - don't cancel until after new life insurance is in place. It is also possible to assign the policy to just one of you by mutual consent or via a finance consent order. I would struggle to get my current life insurance at all - and if I did - it would cost me 10 x as much as it did keeping the current one and getting it assigned to me. Obviously that's age and health condition dependent but don't rush that decision.

Happy New Year

WinterWarrior

Happy New Year… a lovely time for a fresh start 🌟 

MrsSave

Happy New Year!

Thank you for the advice on life insurance @savingholmes I will take it slowly and maybe leave it until next weekend to look into further. I’m in my thirties with no health conditions so will hopefully find a decent deal somewhere.

I was fast asleep before midnight, but then had a crap night’s sleep so was wide awake before 1. It was almost 4 before I dozed back off and then woke several times until I heard the boys starting to move around 6:45. I did use the time productively though. I completed the form for Universal Credit. According to the online calculators I should receive something, but won’t know for sure until the beginning of February. I work 30 hours a week, and have thought about seeing if I could increase to full time but that would bring challenges with childcare, etc. My current hours work perfectly for us at the moment. However it could always be an option if needed.

I also checked the online account for my council tax, not expecting anything to be done yet. But, it had been updated and after January’s money goes out I will be entitled to a refund of just over £95. It doesn’t automatically get sent back though so I emailed them to request it. 

The boys went around 10 this morning so I’ve tried to keep busy since. I popped to the supermarket to pick up a couple of things, and ended up spending far more than planned. I did, however, pick up quite a bit of yellow sticker meat. Their reductions this morning were around 50% which is far better than usual at that time of day. I had some meat in the fridge that needed using up so I made a thai red curry and have portioned it up and frozen them. I can then have them for lunches or dinner when the boys aren’t here. 

I am now starting to crash after 2 nights of rubbish sleep so may have a lazy afternoon just browsing the web for tips on how to live this next chapter! I’ve been invited to my parents for lunch tomorrow but I’ve said no. I think I’d rather be at home and can to a few tasks before the boys come home tomorrow night.

MrsSave

My boys are coming home this afternoon and I can’t wait to see them. I did get a FaceTime from them mid afternoon yesterday as the youngest was missing me I think it’s the thought of it as they’re usually more than happy to go for sleepovers with grandparents.

I had a great night sleep last night (and I don’t say that often!). I read before switching the lights off which I aim to do often but rarely do it. I only woke once during the night and then slept until around quarter to seven. I set the washing machine on a timer last night and plan to do that regularly so that the washing is ready to hang on the clothes horse as soon as I wake up in the morning. 

I already feel like I’m getting the place organised. Changing how I do small tasks slightly and changing my routine a little to make it all mine. Silly little things but i think they’re positive steps. I have a few small tasks to do today such as taking things up the attic and invoicing for a charity I’m he treasurer of but not going to do too much. 

I’ve checked the bank accounts this morning but no changes (I knew there wouldn’t be, and won’t be until Tuesday). It makes me feel in control of my finances to check every morning.

savingholmes

Sounds like you are working through your plans. Glad you got more sleep. It really makes a difference.

MrsSave

I’m feeling a bit more bleurgh today and I’m not sure why. I’ve got the boys with me. We’ve been all creative making things they received for Christmas, and we’ve been for a walk. We’re going to watch a film this afternoon but today is the day I’d like nothing more than to curl up in bed and hide. It’ll pass, I know. 

I had a Tesco delivery this morning that came to just over £47. Though a small amount will be refunded as I turned down one of their substitutions. My food budget is definitely on track for January which is good. 

I’m finding that we have more food leftovers (obviously) so I’m trying to plan them into our meal plan. This should help with the food budget.

We were looking at getting a dog at some point this year, it had been one of our goals for a long time. It was more my goal than Mr S’ and it has become an every bigger goal for this year now. I saw some puppies from a local rescue advertised yesterday and was so tempted to apply (they could be homed with children which does’t happen often with rescues for obvious reasons). I stopped myself though as I really need to get all my finances confirmed so that I know exactly what I have coming in each month and what my expenses are. I have, however, added a dog category into my budget so that I’m saving what I expect a dog to cost every month which shows I can save it, and also means I’ll have money put to one side for the dog and all the things it will need at the start.

enthusiasticsaver

Happy New Year and hope all goes well under the new routine now Mr S moved out. My DD and her husband got a puppy a few months ago and although she has settled in really well they are hard work and expensive. They ended up taking her to an OOH vet over the bank holiday which cost £250. Great for the kids to grow up with a dog though . My grandchildren are a bit younger than your boys, 6 and 4 but they adore their dog. Gets them out walking more although in these dark evenings DD and SIL take it in turns so it might be tricky doing the walks if just you.