Mrs S…the next chapter (separation and all that comes with it)

MrsSave

Thank you both

Things are a little quiet at the moment whilst I’m waiting for the solicitor to do her bits and the conveyancing firm to do their bits. A part of me is liking a bit of quiet time from it all, the rest wants to just get it all done! I’ve had a very busy month at work so in a way that has helped keep me busy and thinking less about it all.

Once I drop the children off at school tomorrow I won’t see them until bedtime on Sunday. I usually fill these weekends with jobs/seeing friends but I have nothing at all planned this weekend. I’m not sure whether I should plan something or make the most of a quiet weekend after a busy month!

It’s payday tomorrow so will spend a bit of time first thing moving money around and making sure April looks good. I have had a slight pay rise at work (we all have) due to the increased cost of living. This will be the second one this year which I am extremely grateful for. 

MrsSave

Hazelnutty said:

Just wanted to say hi! I've read your diary cover to cover and have subscribed I was in a similar position myself and separated and divorced amicably from my XH. Wishing you the very best for the next stage in your life.

It’s so refreshing to hear how people can be amicable throughout as I keep wondering is it too good to be true and things will blow up big time at some point. I really hope things can continue in the positive way.

janb5

Hi Mrs Save- hope you`re ok?

MrsSave

janb5 said:

Hi Mrs Save- hope you`re ok?

Hi, yes all ok here thanks. Things are just taking forever! The company the bank I’m remortgaging to have appointed to act on their behalf are very slow. They ask questions but don’t appear to read the answers before sending documents out, including to my husband, so I’m having to get things amended for them to re-send. They also take quite a while to answer any queries. It’s frustrating but in my head I would love to get this part complete by the end of May (everything crossed). 

MrsSave

I’m another step closer today and have received the transfer of deeds form to sign and return. I’m hoping my husband will also be receiving his today so that we can both get them back asap and move on to the next step. After being told initially I needed a separation order for this, I have now been told they don’t need one! It’s very frustrating but I’ve contacted the solicitor (who still hadn’t sent the forms to me) to ask if they could draw up a finance order instead ready for the divorce. I’m waiting to hear back from them to hear if I need to go back in for another meeting first. 

We’ve also started the divorce proceedings. We figured we might as well get it all done together so that hopefully by the end of 2022 everything will be complete. In my head, I’m still aiming for the end of May to finalise the house bits (no idea how realistic that is but it’s nice to have a date to work towards!).

We spent half the Easter holidays isolating with covid (I didn’t catch it this time thankfully) so then attempted to make up for it by overspending last week! Oops. I did spend some time yesterday going through my finances and making a new budget for once the new mortgage is in place. I also cancelled one of my subscriptions (an ink one) as looking at how often I was now receiving new cartridges it wasn’t worth it financially. I’ve changed my Amazon Prime one from monthly to annual too which works out a little cheaper each month (I save each month for annual bills).

I had my boiler serviced last month and it cost considerably more than before. As well as increasing his fee, the engineer I use has also become VAT registered. I do trust his work far more than others I have had out and have now used him for about 5 years so will have to accept these increases and budget accordingly.

MrsSave

Another update but no further ahead. All forms for the transfer were posted back last week so now it’s just waiting for the conveyancing company to do their bit. 

I’ve started shopping for my eldest’s sons’s birthday. It’s not until August but I like to be organised and also track prices. He’d spotted a game he’d asked for at Christmas but didn’t get in a shop the other day and commented that he’d like it. It was almost £30 there but currently has 70% off on Amazon so that should be arriving today. I’ve had to speak with my ex(almost) about gifts because he was talking about spending 3 times what we used to budget for their birthday gifts and he now agrees that it’s too much and we should have some sort of agreement with the amount spent/gifts bought.

He’s still living with his parents so currently has plenty of money spare each month. I think he’ll have a shock when he actually has to budget and pay bills! We earn a similar amount so I know he won’t have loads spare each month (I wish I did!!).

MrsSave

Almost another month gone and still not finished with the remortgage/transfer. It’s inching closer and closer so I’m really hoping another 4-6 weeks and we’ll be done.

Things are going well with the ex. We went away as a family for a few days which the kids loved! We did speak with them though to explain we are a family so will have plenty of times when we’re all together doing things, but that their Dad won’t be moving back home. They seem to understand and adapted well to coming back home after being away and jumping back into daily life.

I’ve been asked if I want to increase my hours at work to full time. In an ideal world I’d say no and stick with the days I’m doing, but with the costs of everything rising I’ve agreed to it. 

I’ve spent May working on me (if that makes sense). I’ve spent a lot of time reading, I’m eating a lot better (losing weight which is a plus but the main benefit is that my health will improve and my ibs symptoms are far more under control), I’m picking alcohol free alternatives to things and I’ve started running. I suffer from low mood/stress/anxiety from time to time, and it crossed my mind a few days ago that I haven’t felt down at all this month. Everything must be helping. I’m making sure I’m getting fresh air every day, and making an extra effort on the weekends when the boys are with their dad.

I’ve just started a new food budget for the next month, £280, which I am determined to stick to. I’m shopping at Aldi a lot more and being a lot more mindful about what I’m buying. I feel a lot more aware about what food I’ve actually got in the house and buy what I need and not add in loads that I fancy and then end up throwing away.

MrsSave

I’m edging closer to sorting this remortgage and apparently once I’ve sent in a document I’m waiting for from elsewhere (hopefully by the end of this week) they should be able to look at a completion date. I won’t hold my breath though! I’m sure there will be more to sort first!

Almost a year ago I ordered a new front door and was told it would be with me hopefully by Christmas 2021, if not it would be early 2022. Guess what……I’m still waiting. I contacted last week and was told it would be towards the end of this week. I’ve contacted today to ask will it be tomorrow or Friday knowing full well I’m more likely to open the front door and see a snowman than I am them before this week has finished. The money is in premium bonds for it (has been for months and months) and I just want to get it finished now. I’m not a fan of having people in my house so I do get a bit anxious beforehand and just want to get it over with!

I started looking at my budget moving forwards yesterday as my mortgage payments will decrease once the remortgage has finished and also I’m increasing my hours in work to full time from September. It’s not what I really want to do but running the house by myself and the increased cost in everything means I didn’t have much choice.

My water bill came through the other day and I had quite a bit of credit in the account. I contacted them to amend the direct debit and they brought it down by almost £20 a month. Also my gas/electricity hasn’t yet gone up as I think my ex moving out balanced out the increase in costs. I have budgeted more from the Autumn though ready for the next increase.

Humdinger1

Wonderful! I don’t think it will be long before you can look back at this phase and say 'The days were long but the years were short.'  You are doing brilliantly love Humdinger xx 

MrsSave

I have had a text this morning from the bank with a completion date of Monday for the remortgage. I spoke with someone a few days ago about the transfer of deeds and they said there was a backlog at the moment but that shouldn’t take more than a couple of months. It’s so nice to be coming towards the end of it all and it will be nice for the ex to be able to start looking at his finances to know what he can afford.

It was payday yesterday so I sorted out the July budget. June ended up being a very expensive month. The car went in for a service and it had a few things that needed doing so the cost of that came to almost £500. I had money put aside, but not quite that much. There were also a few other big expenses plus I went over my food budget. Again! I’ve set myself a budget of £75 per week for July and am using an empty account to transfer the weekly amount into. I hope that helps me stay on track.

I’ve been through my June statement to see how much exactly I spent and food came to over £430, and we had McDs far too often and spent over £40 there as well as a visit to the chip shop. Petrol came to pretty much £160 which is a lot as I work from home and walk my children to school 95% of the time. I know the cost of petrol has increased a lot recently so I really need to watch how often I use the car. Days out came to £30 (tickets and an ice cream each for the boys) but that was during half term and I’m happy with that figure. I really need to work hard during July to stick to budgets, especially as the school holidays are hitting in a fortnight.