Mrs S…the next chapter (separation and all that comes with it)

MrsSave

It’s been a month but there have been no major developments. I am entitled to some UC which is such a big help and all the refunds appeared in the account. Myself and the children all caught covid. Thankfully we are all clear again now and the children were back in school (until Eunice hit…..but they are with their dad this weekend so he’s dealing with the home schooling).

Things between myself and my ex are really good. Not getting back together good, but co-parenting and getting along as friends really well. We are discussing starting the divorce process in April when the no blame divorce comes in. I’m going to start the process with a mortgage advisor around April time too (I just need to find one!). My aim now is to finish 2022 owning my own home alone, and divorced. 

It’s half term next week so I’m hoping to take the boys out for a day somewhere. I put money aside last payday for it. I’d reduced my food budget this month and it looks like I’ll be able to stick to it! Yay! I’m starting to get on top of how much we need now.

I have been doing the odd survey on Prolific recently so that’s bringing in an extra fiver here and there. 

I currently have a few savings pots set up. My emergency fund is almost back up at £1,000, I have another pot for any work that needs doing on the house (thankfully as one of my radiators has started leaking slightly so will at some point need to call the plumber out), my sofa pot, holidays and a couple of others so I’m really pleased with how 2022 has started.

savingholmes

Glad you've all recovered. Glad the co-parenting is going well. Have fun next week. Well done on the savings. 

MrsSave

I contacted a mortgage broker yesterday that I found through this site, mainly for information and when/how I could start the process. They went through things with me, and advised that they thought I could apply now so I’ve started the ball rolling. The mortgage deal I’m applying for looks good, a slightly higher % than when I last fixed but not too much of a difference. I’ve requested to add on to the mortgage and to increase the term, but if this is accepted my monthly payments will decrease slightly. I guess it’s just a waiting game now. 

savingholmes

Good luck with your application. I went with one via this site too and got there in the end.

enthusiasticsaver

Good luck with the mortgage application and glad all going ok with your ex.  Cheaper and easier all round if you come to  a mutual agreement about things. 

MrsSave

A bit of mixed news. The bank have approved my mortgage application which is great news. But before all that goes through I need to sort the transfer of deeds. I need a finance order in place for that to be completed. The company instructed by the bank can do it (for a fee) but as they’re working on behalf of the bank they cannot give any legal advice. I have decided I’d prefer to go through a different solicitor so that I can have legal advice if required. Hopefully they can sort the finance order and then the transfer of deeds. I’ve spoken with someone at the solicitors today who just took information to be passed on to the relevant person (who is currently on leave) and they’ll be getting in touch towards the end of next week to make an appointment.

My ex husband (I’m not sure what to call him!) has arranged for an estate agent to come out next week for a valuation, and is waiting to hear back from one more. I figured we need those figures before I go to the solicitor. 

To be honest this has completely overwhelmed me over the last few days. It feels like a never ending load of pressure. Also add onto that my ex has had covid and has had to isolate for the full 10 days due to positive lfts right up until the end (we’re in Wales) so I’ve been fully looking after the children and work is another level busy for the whole of March and I am exhausted. Add on to that again that I had a routine doctor’s appointment today and they found something that needs further examination/removal and I’m now being referred to the local hospital. 

I have decided to put everything to one side over the weekend and give my head a rest. I’ll then spend some time Monday filling in as much paperwork as I can at the moment. 

Definitely not as upbeat as usual but this was never going to be completely pain free and a walk in the park. Hopefully a solicitor will be a massive help and weight off my mind (even though I’m already dreading the bill!!). Thankfully the mortgage offer is valid for 6 months so have time to sort everything.

savingholmes

Your divorce solicitor would  do the finance consent order. You typically need 3 quotes for house valuation for that. 

I went with the mortgage companies property solicitor - but ended up paying a property lawyer at my divorce legal practice too as the mortgage company messed it up. That added £200-300 to my bill. With hindsight though I could have avoided that by ringing the mortgage company solicitor - as when they do the transfer they are acting for you - they just aren't with the mortgage itself. So it depends on how much all of those costs are due to be.

Be kind to yourself - I found it really overwhelming when I went through the process too. 

Honeysucklelou2

I’m doing the same process but in reverse so have the financial order sorted but now working through the mortgage detail. With the consent order you will likely have to fill out a Form E which can look overwhelming at first. Basically it’s just to build up a picture of assets and liabilities...I found that some pages didn’t even apply. Agree with SH to be kind to yourself.

MrsSave

Thank you both. To be honest I had no idea in which order I was supposed to be doing things so I just started with what I understood most!! However that is now in place for 6 months so it does feel like one big step done. Just the finance order and transfer of deeds to do. Complete the remortgage, transfer the money to my ex and then start the divorce! I know it’s only March but my big plan is that by 2023 everything is complete! 

MrsSave

Morning! We have 2 different estate agents coming out today for valuations so that will be a big step in the process. It will be good to get a figure so we know what we’re working with. I completed some of the forms yesterday but just need to do a little more before being able to post them back. I’m hoping to get that done before the end of the week.

I’ve been reading more into the finance order and it appears that you need to be in the process of divorce to be able to have one and we haven’t started divorce proceedings yet. Is a separation order the same sort of thing but for when you’ve just separated and not divorced? I will ask the solicitor when they phone back later in the week but just trying to get my head around everything. 

I am so looking forward to getting everything done and completed!