Break up of a long term relationship

madwomanintraining

@BellaLasagna2018 my phone is a very basic brick, but it does have a camera which I can use.

Siebrie

Can you send your partner and your son on a nice long walk? To the seaside? Somewhere they will be gone to for a couple of hours? Pretend to be sick and get them out of the house so you can 'sleep it off'? Ask husband to pick up something that's only available in X, which is an hour away?

I am planning my divorce, and currently photographing docs and sending the photos to an email account husband doesn't have access to, then deleting the photos from my phone (don't forget about the 'recently deleted items' folder!).

madwomanintraining

@Siebrie - my head is all over the place at the moment.  I have done a lot of clearing out and throwing things away, so my next thing to focus on is the practicalities of how to do this.  

Thank you for the support and suggestions.  Good luck with your plans - have you left yet, or are you planning to?

Siebrie

I'm planning to keep the house and both dds, and make him leave. We'll see how it pans out. He's going to his mother country for 10 weeks, leaving this weekend, which leaves me free to do admin undisturbed, phone whoever I need to, and build a stronger connection with dds.

madwomanintraining

@Siebrie You sound like a very strong person - good luck x

boxer234

Good luck to everyone on their journey.  Do you own the home jointly @madwomanintraining? Maybe speak to a solicitor for a free 30 minute session.  (It took me three attempts I kept cancelling because I was so scared) 

madwomanintraining

@boxer234 yes its joint, and something else I need to address at some point soon. 

RAS

As soon as you get out of the house, get advice on how to sever the tenancy and make sure you have an up to date will. The good thing about the joint ownership is that legally he is not allowed to hinder your access to the property, so you can go back in, albeit you might need support and he may have destroyed stuff. 

Mean-time, have you rung Women's Aid or Refuge? You seem to be doing all this without support and there may be some things that they can advise you on that make your life easier.

madwomanintraining

I haven't rang because I never get change to be on my own to talk to them - tried to make a call in the loo at work and someone started knocking on the door! Felt a right fool.

olgadapolga

madwomanintraining said:

I haven't rang because I never get change to be on my own to talk to them - tried to make a call in the loo at work and someone started knocking on the door! Felt a right fool.

Do you have a break at work that's long enough for you to go outside and make a call to Women's Aid?