Break up of a long term relationship

madwomanintraining

Really struggling with my emotions today.  Wondering what I am doing! I'm about to move into a room above a busy noisy pub with people I don't know (all men), sharing a kitchen and living room, but the alternative fills me with dread.  I chose the room as I can move straight in and it has everything there, also its a lot more affordable that trying to rent a flat.  They also didn't need to do credit checks etc so it was an easy choice. 
Just wish I could see into the future and see it has all worked out okay.

elsien

Change is always scary, even good change. Perfectly normal to be feeling wobbly. And it’s only a temporary move to get you out. It has the benefit of being more flexible so you can move on to somewhere else when you’re ready.
You will have more money in the future to get your own space again.
It will work out ok, there’s no reason why it shouldn’t. You’re a capable woman, in work, and that gives you choices away from that feeling of dread. 
One step at a time. 

MovingForwards

This flat share is a temporary stepping stone, it's not a home for life but one to get you on your feet. When you're settled then you look for a new flat share and can take your time.

boxer234

It will be fine scary but ok.  It takes time to re build again.  Having your freedom back will feel amazing. 

madwomanintraining

boxer234 said:

It will be fine scary but ok.  It takes time to re build again.  Having your freedom back will feel amazing. 

It's been so long since I've felt like I have free will that I can barely remember it!

Mojisola

boxer234 said:

It will be fine scary but ok.  It takes time to re build again.  Having your freedom back will feel amazing. 

It will eventually but it's normal to find it scary and quite bewildering at times until you get used to the freedom.

BellaLasagna2018

madwomanintraining said:

Really struggling with my emotions today.  Wondering what I am doing! I'm about to move into a room above a busy noisy pub with people I don't know (all men), sharing a kitchen and living room, but the alternative fills me with dread.  I chose the room as I can move straight in and it has everything there, also its a lot more affordable that trying to rent a flat.  They also didn't need to do credit checks etc so it was an easy choice. 
Just wish I could see into the future and see it has all worked out okay.

A friend of mine did a similar thing after a break up. It really suited her as she paid a fixed amount every month. It allowed her to get herself together before moving on. She now lives in her own little flat, not sharing with anyone any longer. 

jennystarpepper

madwomanintraining said:

Really struggling with my emotions today.  Wondering what I am doing! I'm about to move into a room above a busy noisy pub with people I don't know (all men), sharing a kitchen and living room, but the alternative fills me with dread.  I chose the room as I can move straight in and it has everything there, also its a lot more affordable that trying to rent a flat.  They also didn't need to do credit checks etc so it was an easy choice. 
Just wish I could see into the future and see it has all worked out okay.

You will be ok, we are all pulling for you.  It is normal to feel as you do, it is a big step to make after so many years of being in the same situation.

When you have your own room and keys and close the door to your own place you will feel safe.  

Don't worry about it being all men in your  new place, if you find one or two of them to be approachable / ok, tell them you are moving due to domestic abuse, they will probably look out for you.  Don't forget the landlord can kick out whoever they want from their pub.

Some of us have been through similar things, I tell myself my life will never be like that again and yours will change for the better.  

Keep going, you can do it. XXX

Savvy_Sue

You might not want to speak to your boss, but if you have an HR department it might be worth trying to speak to them, stressing that it is in confidence and you don't want your manager given any details. Especially if he might turn up at work trying to see you, it may be useful if Reception know that you're not to be called down, he's not to be allowed in. 

madwomanintraining

Savvy_Sue said:

You might not want to speak to your boss, but if you have an HR department it might be worth trying to speak to them, stressing that it is in confidence and you don't want your manager given any details. Especially if he might turn up at work trying to see you, it may be useful if Reception know that you're not to be called down, he's not to be allowed in. 

Luckily he won't be able to get in the building as he doesn't have a swipe card, but he might wait outside which I will have to be prepared to deal with.