Break up of a long term relationship

last_mile

@madwomanintraining, I have just found you thread and felt i had to respond.
If you look at my history you will see that I left a very similar relationship (exc. Children) 3 years ago in June.
Was it the best decision I made, YES. Did it feel like it for the first while, NO. but that's because you have to spend time adjusting to the change that life has brought, you are so used to the eggshells and anger that when they aren't there something feels off, it's not it is simply just the way you have been condition by his actions.
You are making the right decision for you and your son, you know that so you have to stand strong.
When it comes to things to take, leaving will really bring into focus what items are important to you.
I recommend, your passport/driving license/ certificates of birth/marriage etc, wills, insurance and bank details.
Pictures you really must have and jewellery.
Clothes are replaceable but i do recommend the "charity" idea so that you get some items out.
When you do leave, Switch off your phone and tell no one where you are going then take the time to yourselves.
Maybe take some days off work so that if he turns up there you aren't there.
Just stay in and work through the feelings that will come.
If you need to talk we are all here and you can PM me.

madwomanintraining

@last_mile thank you so much for taking the time to reply to this thread. I hope you are happy now and wish you all the very best for the future. 
I just can't wait to get on with it now. 

madwomanintraining

@last_mile I have just read your thread - spookily alike!
I am experiencing the 6th sense thing - scary some of his recent comments, it's like he knows what I am doing. 
Did you manage to get a place of your own in the end, and get him to sell the flat?

sammyjammy

I know its important for you not to say where you are but I am in Sheffield if thats at all helpful to you for storage of papers or anything x

madwomanintraining

sammyjammy said:

I know its important for you not to say where you are but I am in Sheffield if thats at all helpful to you for storage of papers or anything x

Thank you for the kind offer - I really appreciate the support, unfortunately I am not local to you. 

thegreenone

If you can, and I realise if he is WFH you may not have access to files, take photos or at least write down account numbers for mortgage/council tax/utilities/insurance policies etc.   If you can get hold of documents, post them straight to your new home, asking them to keep post until you arrive.  I am sure they will.  I wish you all the best.

madwomanintraining

thegreenone said:

If you can, and I realise if he is WFH you may not have access to files, take photos or at least write down account numbers for mortgage/council tax/utilities/insurance policies etc.   If you can get hold of documents, post them straight to your new home, asking them to keep post until you arrive.  I am sure they will.  I wish you all the best.

Thank you.  I have started to gather a list of all the things I have to take as I doubt I will get a second chance to collect things when I am gone as he will change the locks.  

gettingtheresometime

Have you got access to a scanner in work? If so take the documents in with you, scan them & keep the scans on a usb  can be hidden, taped to the top of your drawer in work or in your purse

madwomanintraining

gettingtheresometime said:

Have you got access to a scanner in work? If so take the documents in with you, scan them & keep the scans on a usb  can be hidden, taped to the top of your drawer in work or in your purse

Great idea, but unfortunately we don't have a scanner at work. 

barbiedoll

I'm in SE London, you don't have to acknowledge this, but PM if I can help with anything, I have a car and can store papers etc. 

I work in women's services so have access to lots of information about support services, DV charities, etc. I've also experienced an abusive relationship, and I can't tell you how good you're going to feel when you get in your own place, and you finally feel safe, and at peace. You honestly won't care about the things that you'll have to leave behind, it's just stuff and can all be replaced. You'll wonder why you didn't do it years ago.

Stay safe, keep going, and good luck!