What qualities do women want/value in a relationship?

TuppenceWorth

Apologies as I haven't read the seven pages of replies...

From my experience, women want a man who will agree to all their requests yet have no needs of their own...
The man to agree to have no input into anything but to finance all the crazy plans.
The man to absorb constant anger but to never display any frustration himself.

To give all his time to her family yet have his family viewed as scum.
I could go on but busy...
Perhaps I feel a tiny bit bitter after a long relationship which had its "challenges".
Yours Sincerely 

stphnstevey

From a recent study, ranked in order, would the ladies agree?? :

Pollycat

OP

I'm not going to quote your post but perhaps you can explain what 'M' and 'SD' mean...

Perhaps some context what the study is about would be helpful.

strawb_shortcake

I'm not sure many of those acts are what really holds a relationship together, it's a combination of factors, and a couple that grows together through mutual interests and hobbies but also the capacity to engage in independent activities. Compromising and realising that you can't both get your own way all of the time. 
The list might have some traits that initiate a relationship but displaying them doesn't automatically make someone attractive to them, I think for a meaningful long term relationship there needs to be that underlying connection that is just too intangible to decipher or put into words

stphnstevey

Pollycat said:

OP

I'm not going to quote your post but perhaps you can explain what 'M' and 'SD' mean...

Perhaps some context what the study is about would be helpful.

M=Mean SD=Standard Deviation
https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.387.2684&rep=rep1&type=pdf

Pollycat

TuppenceWorth said:

Apologies as I haven't read the seven pages of replies...

From my experience, women want a man who will agree to all their requests yet have no needs of their own...
The man to agree to have no input into anything but to finance all the crazy plans.
The man to absorb constant anger but to never display any frustration himself.

To give all his time to her family yet have his family viewed as scum.
I could go on but busy...
Perhaps I feel a tiny bit bitter after a long relationship which had its "challenges".
Yours Sincerely 

TBH, you do come across as a little bitter. I'm sure you have your reasons.

You've obviously had a bad experience but I wonder how much experience of relationships and what women want you actually have if the relationship that didn't work was a long one.

TuppenceWorth

Pollycat said:

TuppenceWorth said:

Apologies as I haven't read the seven pages of replies...

From my experience, women want a man who will agree to all their requests yet have no needs of their own...
The man to agree to have no input into anything but to finance all the crazy plans.
The man to absorb constant anger but to never display any frustration himself.

To give all his time to her family yet have his family viewed as scum.
I could go on but busy...
Perhaps I feel a tiny bit bitter after a long relationship which had its "challenges".
Yours Sincerely 

TBH, you do come across as a little bitter. I'm sure you have your reasons.

You've obviously had a bad experience but I wonder how much experience of relationships and what women want you actually have if the relationship that didn't work was a long one.

Thanks for the concern. And thanks for the personal messages of encouragement. 
Listen..  it was a vent due to a very problematic relationship. 
I am fully aware that there are some really nice women out there. 
On a serious note. My advice to men and women is not to ignore red flags early in the relationship. 

jennystarpepper

stphnstevey said:

From a recent study, ranked in order, would the ladies agree?? :

I think the first 7 on this list, (maybe with the exception of number 5 if it is a new relationship / being too clingy) are true, but then who male or female wants a relationship with a smelly, boring git who lacks empathy and has bad manners.  

Again male or female, if anyone lack's the understanding that these are basic skills (like manners and being clean) their is no hope for you.  

CharllieSays

I think most people avoid doing proper 'vetting' before they get into a relationship, so it's doomed from the start. So many people latch on to the first person that shows interest, rushes to tie themselves to a house/marriage/kids, then later realises they aren't compatible and has to go through all the hoops of either trying to force things to work or going through divorce. If people spent longer beforehand working out exactly what they want/need in a partner and then waited until that person came along, I think it would solve a LOT of problems.

I've been single for nearly 6 years now (although been on lots of dates) and forced myself to focus on what I needed and what I was happy to compromise on. And more importantly, what I definitely did not want in a partner. It also forced me to learn how to rely on myself and to get used to being alone so that I wouldn't be scared to walk away from the wrong person. I've had many guys approach me, but in hindsight I'm very glad I didn't accept as I would be miserable now. I would rather be alone than with the wrong person. I've also had a lot of time to work on myself and I'm genuinely happy with who I am as a person now. It sounds egotistical, but I'm looking for someone who is the male version of me, but with a few complimentary differences.

So someone who is also an entrepreneur, enjoys travelling, tech, odd humour, likes cats, is similar age (late 30s), same culture/background/values/energy/personality, and is done having kids (although I wouldn't mind being a step-mum if they have kids already). I'm very affectionate and giving and have attracted a lot of takers, so want someone that is like me there. I also want someone that will encourage me rather than being intimidated and competing/insulting me. I want a team mate, not a rival. Physically, I like tall guys who aren't gym bunnies (not a fan of big muscles). I don't care about model looks, grey hair, 'dad bods', etc. As long as they are healthy enough that I don't have to worry over them having a heart attack any moment!

burlingtonfl6

CharllieSays said:

I think most people avoid doing proper 'vetting' before they get into a relationship, so it's doomed from the start. So many people latch on to the first person that shows interest, rushes to tie themselves to a house/marriage/kids, then later realises they aren't compatible and has to go through all the hoops of either trying to force things to work or going through divorce. If people spent longer beforehand working out exactly what they want/need in a partner and then waited until that person came along, I think it would solve a LOT of problems.

I've been single for nearly 6 years now (although been on lots of dates) and forced myself to focus on what I needed and what I was happy to compromise on. And more importantly, what I definitely did not want in a partner. It also forced me to learn how to rely on myself and to get used to being alone so that I wouldn't be scared to walk away from the wrong person. I've had many guys approach me, but in hindsight I'm very glad I didn't accept as I would be miserable now. I would rather be alone than with the wrong person. I've also had a lot of time to work on myself and I'm genuinely happy with who I am as a person now. It sounds egotistical, but I'm looking for someone who is the male version of me, but with a few complimentary differences.

So someone who is also an entrepreneur, enjoys travelling, tech, odd humour, likes cats, is similar age (late 30s), same culture/background/values/energy/personality, and is done having kids (although I wouldn't mind being a step-mum if they have kids already). I'm very affectionate and giving and have attracted a lot of takers, so want someone that is like me there. I also want someone that will encourage me rather than being intimidated and competing/insulting me. I want a team mate, not a rival. Physically, I like tall guys who aren't gym bunnies (not a fan of big muscles). I don't care about model looks, grey hair, 'dad bods', etc. As long as they are healthy enough that I don't have to worry over them having a heart attack any moment!

The problem you have is the men that are your age (who have their sht together) will generally have the option to date women in their late 20's and early 30's....and men, in general, prefer that.