What qualities do women want/value in a relationship?

Pollycat

HouseTargaryen said:

In my experiance, they want money. In the two times in my long life that my income dried up I was dumped. Their reasons was because they just "fell out of love" with me. But really, it was because without money, women fall out of love quickly. Woman reading this may say "I am different". You think you are, but when you're in that position you'll kid yourself that the lack of money is not the reason for falling out of love.

Well, I have been in that position and I can say - honestly - I am different.
Because I supported my OH through the hard times.
I didn't dump him.
Your 2 experiences may have been the opposite but please don't far all women with the same brush.

AskAsk

HouseTargaryen said:

In my experiance, they want money. In the two times in my long life that my income dried up I was dumped. Their reasons was because they just "fell out of love" with me. But really, it was because without money, women fall out of love quickly. Woman reading this may say "I am different". You think you are, but when you're in that position you'll kid yourself that the lack of money is not the reason for falling out of love.

if they loved you they wouldn't dump you unless they thought you had just given up and had no intention of earning an income.  it is not unusual for a man to support his wife/partner in a relationship for the duration of their relationship, but it doesn't normally work the other way round where the woman would support her male partner throughout the entire relationship.  it may be the way society think of the role of a man and woman in a relationship?

we have a friend who pretty much supports her husband and always had as he is just useless at earning a living.  her dad disapproved of the marriage as he said his son-in-law was not able to look after his wife.  he was of the old school that the husband should do so.

we have another friend who is leaving her husband because he has now lost his high paid job and has no prospect of getting a similar job.  i feel a bit sorry for the guy.

we have another friend who has always supported his wife throughout their entire marriage.

onomatopoeia99

AskAsk said:

we have another friend who is leaving her husband because he has now lost his high paid job and has no prospect of getting a similar job.  i feel a bit sorry for the guy.

Surprised you describe that one as a friend if they act like that.  I'd cut them from my life.

burlingtonfl6

TuppenceWorth said:

HouseTargaryen said:

In my experiance, they want money. In the two times in my long life that my income dried up I was dumped. Their reasons was because they just "fell out of love" with me. But really, it was because without money, women fall out of love quickly. Woman reading this may say "I am different". You think you are, but when you're in that position you'll kid yourself that the lack of money is not the reason for falling out of love.

This is probably true for women who feel that an eyelash flutter and faking in bed should entitle them to a kings ransom. Not so for a career woman with a brain. 
The former should be avoided. I'm hoping to find the latter who is also genuine and nice. Wish me luck...

I've got some news for you.......men, in general, really don't care about your career and women, in general, stop caring when they get to an age when they realise having a family of their own is much more rewarding than their 9-5.

AskAsk

onomatopoeia99 said:

AskAsk said:

we have another friend who is leaving her husband because he has now lost his high paid job and has no prospect of getting a similar job.  i feel a bit sorry for the guy.

Surprised you describe that one as a friend if they act like that.  I'd cut them from my life.

to be fair to her, she says that her husband is a compulsive gambler and that it was fine when he was earning a lot of money but now that he has lost his job, the continued gambling has put them into financial difficulties.

however, i still feel sorry for the guy but i can't judge her too harshly as i don't know all the issues with their marriage.  she is a family friend but she is really my husband's friend and they have been friends many years even before i met him.  he does feel sorry for the guy but he is siding with her as she is friend.

Pollycat

burlingtonfl6 said:

I've got some news for you.......men, in general, really don't care about your career and women, in general, stop caring when they get to an age when they realise having a family of their own is much more rewarding than their 9-5.

Well then, I'm a unicorn (again).

I had a good, interesting, well-paid career that allowed me to retire aged 50.

I had a partner who did care about my career and supported me in that career, even though it meant some long days attending meetings at the other end of the country and lots of working at home (unpaid) after I'd left the office.

I've never felt that having a family of my own might have been more rewarding than my career.

TuppenceWorth said:

This is probably true for women who feel that an eyelash flutter and faking in bed should entitle them to a kings ransom. Not so for a career woman with a brain. 
The former should be avoided. I'm hoping to find the latter who is also genuine and nice. Wish me luck...

Sorry, I'm taken.

But I do wish you luck. I'm sure I'm not the only unicorn...

MovingForwards

@Pollycat you're not the only unicorn.

My OH actively encourages me to climb the career ladder and is more than happy if I want revert to my previous career. He also knows I will always earn more than he does.

He keeps house and I do what I can, including DIY even though it takes me months. He accepts I've limits to my health, actively seeks out places we can visit and I can get around them or he goes to visit them first to make sure they are suitable. Sits / lies down next to me when I'm crying because I can't get out of bed or because I can't cope with the pain. Other times I can throw a look because of a comment on TV, the internet or even while we're out, which just sees us both burst out laughing.

We both play to our strengths.

I appreciate and value everything my OH does as that means more to me than what his take-home pay is.

I'd happily do a 'traditional' role reversal, which is what we are swaying towards in any event. 

74jax

TuppenceWorth said:

HouseTargaryen said:

In my experiance, they want money. In the two times in my long life that my income dried up I was dumped. Their reasons was because they just "fell out of love" with me. But really, it was because without money, women fall out of love quickly. Woman reading this may say "I am different". You think you are, but when you're in that position you'll kid yourself that the lack of money is not the reason for falling out of love.

This is probably true for women who feel that an eyelash flutter and faking in bed should entitle them to a kings ransom. Not so for a career woman with a brain. 
The former should be avoided. I'm hoping to find the latter who is also genuine and nice. Wish me luck...

I was the 'career' one. Both my husband and I were in good jobs, but my husband has always earned a good 4 x my salary due to his field.  However I was fiercely independent, my husband had never supported me, but we have supported each other. I was completely in love with my career. Until I wasn't....
I now don't work, no longer a career headed person, but my husband still doesn't support me, we are still supporting each other - I probably support him more now than ever. 
Being a career woman with a brain, or not being a career woman hasn't changed my relationship at all. 
But I am fiercely independent so I honestly do think that is a driving force in my life. 

karenburton1305

A sense of humour is critical - someone who doesn't take life too seriously and isn't miserable! Someone who is complimentary but also respectful of me and my independence. Honesty too - and not patronising. I hate being patronised!

LucyCan90

For women - someone that can make them laugh is always a hit. Height unfortunately comes into it for a lot of women because with so many pressures on appearance of females that's constantly all around them, sometimes a shorter man can make some feel bigger/larger. This can make them self conscious. A taller man also brings an element of feeling secure/protected for some women.