What qualities do women want/value in a relationship?

olgadapolga

onomatopoeia99 said:

Pollycat said:

onomatopoeia99 said:

gozaimasu said:

. Yeah I'll deffo be alone for the rest of my life but society hasn't so far advanced as to allow us to go to a clinic to end things.

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.
edit- I assume that by "end things" you means end the chance of getting pregnant once and for all

It's available on the NHS.

I know it is, but I also know women that have been refused NHS treatment as "they might change their mind later", which is incredibly patronizing.  It's 2021, not 1821, you'd think society, particularly professionals like doctors, would have moved past attitudes like that.

When I asked for sterilisation, I was told by my GP that my CCG "didn't allow" it. I was "advised" to have a Mirena coil fitted instead. Saw another GP in the same practice who said that sterilisations had been outsourced to a private hospital (so the cost involved was probably why the first GP said it wasn't allowed, that coupled with the payment the practice would have received for the Mirena). 

Tokmon

gozaimasu said:

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.

edit- I assume that by "end things" you means end the chance of getting pregnant once and for all

It's available on the NHS.

I know it is, but I also know women that have been refused NHS treatment as "they might change their mind later", which is incredibly patronizing.  It's 2021, not 1821, you'd think society, particularly professionals like doctors, would have moved past attitudes like that.

Very patronising.

And I would take it further if I asked for the procedure and was refused on that basis.

I remember a terse discussion I had many years ago with a building society about a mortgage application where they wouldn't take my full salary into account (I was the higher earner) because I'd "be starting a family".

Almost 45 years on, I've still not changed my mind.

It used to be available privately at Marie Stopes Cinic but I don't think they do it anymore.

Agree with you both on this pollycat and onomatopoeia - the NHS website quotes "you may be more likely to be accepted for the operation if you're over 30 and have had children". Basically the NHS will decide what you get to do with your body if you're under a certain age. I've known since the age of 15 that I didn't want children, with many people over the years telling me that I would change my mind. Apparently hormones would kick in at the age of 30 and suddenly make me want to look after a screaming puking mess and noise maker that ruins your body, social life and finances.

I remember reading an article many years ago of a 29 year old who wanted a sterilisation on the NHS but was refused. I was in NHS surgery once for a spinal operation, and the surgeon refused to let me sign a DNACPR do not resuscitate order, on the basis that I was too young. My view is that if my heart stops on that operating table, then I'm supposed to die, and I don't want some surgeon playing god to decide that I should be forced to live.

Well using the same logic having surgery to modify your body internally using modern technology and expertise is just as much "playing god" as using the same technology and expertise to keep you alive if something goes wrong during the surgery. 

NaughtiusMaximus

onomatopoeia99 said:

gozaimasu said:

. Yeah I'll deffo be alone for the rest of my life but society hasn't so far advanced as to allow us to go to a clinic to end things.

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.

It is, ie NOT easy to obtain if you are young and have never had children.

onomatopoeia99 said:

Pollycat said:

onomatopoeia99 said:

gozaimasu said:

. Yeah I'll deffo be alone for the rest of my life but society hasn't so far advanced as to allow us to go to a clinic to end things.

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.
edit- I assume that by "end things" you means end the chance of getting pregnant once and for all

It's available on the NHS.

I know it is, but I also know women that have been refused NHS treatment as "they might change their mind later", which is incredibly patronizing.  It's 2021, not 1821, you'd think society, particularly professionals like doctors, would have moved past attitudes like that.

I know men who have been refused vasectomies in their 20s for the exact same reason. The issue here isn't one of gender but the refusal of large chunks of society to accept the fact that there are people who don't want kids, ever.

gozaimasu said:

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.

edit- I assume that by "end things" you means end the chance of getting pregnant once and for all

It's available on the NHS.

I know it is, but I also know women that have been refused NHS treatment as "they might change their mind later", which is incredibly patronizing.  It's 2021, not 1821, you'd think society, particularly professionals like doctors, would have moved past attitudes like that.

Very patronising.

And I would take it further if I asked for the procedure and was refused on that basis.

I remember a terse discussion I had many years ago with a building society about a mortgage application where they wouldn't take my full salary into account (I was the higher earner) because I'd "be starting a family".

Almost 45 years on, I've still not changed my mind.

It used to be available privately at Marie Stopes Cinic but I don't think they do it anymore.

Agree with you both on this pollycat and onomatopoeia - the NHS website quotes "you may be more likely to be accepted for the operation if you're over 30 and have had children". Basically the NHS will decide what you get to do with your body if you're under a certain age. I've known since the age of 15 that I didn't want children, with many people over the years telling me that I would change my mind. Apparently hormones would kick in at the age of 30 and suddenly make me want to look after a screaming puking mess and noise maker that ruins your body, social life and finances.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/vasectomy-male-sterilisation/
"You may be more likely to be accepted for a vasectomy if you're over 30 and have had children."