What qualities do women want/value in a relationship?

stphnstevey

In my life at least, a bit like moneysaving , no one seems to teach you how to make a relationship work. So I was wondering if any women might be willing to share what they want/value in a relationship. The idea being that if you know what is important in a relationship, then you can focus on the right things to aim to hopefully be better at them.
 

RobM99

Love, respect, honesty. How's that for starters?

Mojisola

I think you're coming from this wrong - women don't have one view.

What do you want from a partner?  You need to find someone who suits you.

74jax

Someone to put up with me, and who I'll put up with.... 😂

Mnoee

Enough similarities that we rarely argue and have shared interests and goals, but enough differences that we can each have some alone time to persue our own thing. I totally agree that there won't be an answer that's definitive - it's like asking what men look for in a partner. It's just someone who suits them, as everyone values different things. 

swingaloo2

Well Im on my second marriage and its my hubbys second as well. He also had 2 long term relationships besides his marriage.
My first one lasted 25 years although we should have quit after the first year. Been with my now husband 20 years and couldnt be happier.
All 3 of his relationships ended badly and all his ex's were obviously glad to be rid of him, I wouldnt change him for the world.
Which just goes to show that you cant define it by something women look for. When its right, its right.  Its the same man, 3 women couldnt live with him, I wouldnt want to live without him but no doubt if we were asked we would all say we were looking for the same thing.

jennystarpepper

I married my best mate, can be a prat at times (but can't we all) , we laugh at the same things and he has got my back. 

 For us being low maintenance helps, we have no expensive hobbies, we never argue about money and Mr is happy as long as he has a beer in the fridge and homemade gravy.  

stphnstevey

Mojisola said:

I think you're coming from this wrong - women don't have one view.

What do you want from a partner?  You need to find someone who suits you.

I can understand that each women might have a different "type" of guy physically they go for
I read an article from an experienced marriage councillor who tried to define the reasons the majority of marriages broke down. I followed up with my own short survey of 6 or so women friends, which also confirmed that AFFECTION seemed to top all of their lists
Which got me wondering if there are certain things that the majority of women might be looking for in a relationship   

Mnoee

stphnstevey said:

Mojisola said:

I think you're coming from this wrong - women don't have one view.

What do you want from a partner?  You need to find someone who suits you.

I can understand that each women might have a different "type" of guy physically they go for
I read an article from an experienced marriage councillor who tried to define the reasons the majority of marriages broke down. I followed up with my own short survey of 6 or so women friends, which also confirmed that AFFECTION seemed to top all of their lists
Which got me wondering if there are certain things that the majority of women might be looking for in a relationship   

The trouble is that different people show or want affection in different ways. It may be buying gifts, it may be kind words, physical affection like kisses or doing chores to give the other person a break. Lots of people talk about 'love languages' which is basically the concept I've described. Different people appreciate different things.

Edit: and for the record, I and many other women don't have a physical 'type'. I've dated tall, short, fat, skinny, long and short hair of all colours, beards and clean shaven. 

MovingForwards

I was with my ex for 21 years, a mutual friend introduced us, we became friends and then started dating, eventually getting married and subsequently divorced. We had a lot of common interests. While my ex said he wanted the same things as me, when it boiled down to it he didn't and it became more apparent when my health declined following an accident.

I was debating starting a new life after my marriage broke down, but didn't want to try it without knowing if my destiny belonged elsewhere (see below).

I shared a mutual interest with someone and we both knew we were meant to be together from the moment our interest caused us to 'meet'.  After a few years we swapped numbers and began texting, emailing and then doing video calls for hours at a time and fell in love. We met for the first time about week later and didn't stop talking about anything and everything. We felt like teenagers.

Now I'm approaching the 5th year of being with my partner after a whirlwind romance and getting engaged on our 3rd date. 

We have a mutual respect, take it in turns to pick films, he plays jazz when I'm out as it's not my thing, I do likewise with music he doesn't like, there's hugs, kisses and we don't take each other for granted. If one changes job, we discuss redistribution of housekeeping. He doesn't get frustrated with me being disabled and not able to do everything he can, as much as I want to, instead he has picked out a few great hobbies for me to do at home or so we can go somewhere together while he goes off for a walk and I do my hobby while waiting for him to come back to where I was left.

It's easy to say I love you, but takes a lot more effort to show it.

[Deleted User]

From a woman who has always met the wrong type Don't rush things / be to pushy. Give a little conversation. Honesty.