What qualities do women want/value in a relationship?

stphnstevey

So AFFECTION isn't top of the list for most women?
Most women DON'T see that as important?
If not, what is?
Yes, each women may be different, but there are A LOT of similarities too, we are all human for a start!

Mnoee

stphnstevey said:

So AFFECTION isn't top of the list for most women?
Most women DON'T see that as important?
If not, what is?
Yes, each women may be different, but there are A LOT of similarities too, we are all human for a start!

Most women prefer a man who recognises that we're individuals with different wants and needs, not men who insist otherwise despite multiple people telling them the same thing. That's the ultimate thing women want. To be seen as a real life person and to be listened to. 

AskAsk

burlingtonfl6 said:

Depends on their age but you're wasting your time asking a woman for advice. 
I don't know how old you are OP but the main thing women generally look for is status, confidence, ambition and wealth.
Feminine men in touch with their feelings get nowhere.
Edit.... it helps to be taller than them too.

 lol.  i really like the way you tell them how it is 

mason's_mum

burlingtonfl6 said:

Feminine men in touch with their feelings get nowhere.

This is absolutely not true - and men who ARE in touch with their feelings are not necessarily feminine either - it's very healthy to be aware of your feelings and men who say things like this don't help with the stigma.
My partner is well in touch with his feelings, (he's also 6'2", lifts weights and is very manly!) and I see that as hugely attractive - he's not embarrassed to tell me if he's having a grumpy day, or struggling with something, be it work, family or whatever, and is never judgmental if I share my feelings with him, although he usually knows anyway as he's also (annoyingly sometimes!) perceptive. - this is hugely valuable to me as I'm able to pick up the slack if he's struggling and vice versa - we work as a team.
I don't know how old you are OP, but personally the qualities I look for in a man now I'm in my forties (just!) are quite different from what I wanted in my twenties.
OP, I want a partner in the true sense of the word. but like most things, balance is key.
Most people value the good qualities they believe themselves to have.
I need someone not to be too needy, but not too cocky or independent either, supportive, but to challenge me when needed, (I know I'm not the easiest person!) able to hold a good conversation and be genuinely interested in the answers. We need to have the same values in terms of honesty and integrity, and the same long term goals.
other than that I can't really help - BUT don't try to be something or someone you are not. it might make you happy in the short term, but you'll either get found out or make yourself unhappy!
Either the attraction is there or it isn't. I didn't meet anyone that I even vaguely connected with for 5 years, and I thought my standards were obviously too high, but I couldn't describe why any of the people I met didn't hit the spot, there was nothing specific, just the lack of feeling that I wanted to see any of them again. Then I met my now partner, we just clicked straightaway, and it became obvious over the next few dates that we did share the same values and goals. it's still early days, but by talking to each other and sharing worries or fears we're able to discuss any issues that arise rationally before they get too ingrained.
good luck!

burlingtonfl6

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Feminine men in touch with their feelings get nowhere.

This is absolutely not true - and men who ARE in touch with their feelings are not necessarily feminine either - it's very healthy to be aware of your feelings and men who say things like this don't help with the stigma.
My partner is well in touch with his feelings, (he's also 6'2", lifts weights and is very manly!) and I see that as hugely attractive - he's not embarrassed to tell me if he's having a grumpy day, or struggling with something, be it work, family or whatever, and is never judgmental if I share my feelings with him, although he usually knows anyway as he's also (annoyingly sometimes!) perceptive. - this is hugely valuable to me as I'm able to pick up the slack if he's struggling and vice versa - we work as a team.
I don't know how old you are OP, but personally the qualities I look for in a man now I'm in my forties (just!) are quite different from what I wanted in my twenties.
OP, I want a partner in the true sense of the word. but like most things, balance is key.
Most people value the good qualities they believe themselves to have.
I need someone not to be too needy, but not too cocky or independent either, supportive, but to challenge me when needed, (I know I'm not the easiest person!) able to hold a good conversation and be genuinely interested in the answers. We need to have the same values in terms of honesty and integrity, and the same long term goals.
other than that I can't really help - BUT don't try to be something or someone you are not. it might make you happy in the short term, but you'll either get found out or make yourself unhappy!
Either the attraction is there or it isn't. I didn't meet anyone that I even vaguely connected with for 5 years, and I thought my standards were obviously too high, but I couldn't describe why any of the people I met didn't hit the spot, there was nothing specific, just the lack of feeling that I wanted to see any of them again. Then I met my now partner, we just clicked straightaway, and it became obvious over the next few dates that we did share the same values and goals. it's still early days, but by talking to each other and sharing worries or fears we're able to discuss any issues that arise rationally before they get too ingrained.
good luck!

So you disagree with my comment about a feminine man in touch with his feeling being unattractive to women then state you are with a manly man in touch with his feelings...... so you agree with me

mason's_mum

burlingtonfl6 said:

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Feminine men in touch with their feelings get nowhere.

This is absolutely not true - and men who ARE in touch with their feelings are not necessarily feminine either - it's very healthy to be aware of your feelings and men who say things like this don't help with the stigma.
My partner is well in touch with his feelings, (he's also 6'2", lifts weights and is very manly!) and I see that as hugely attractive

So you disagree with my comment about a feminine man in touch with his feeling being unattractive to women then state you are with a manly man in touch with his feelings...... so you agree with me

Actually, I have always previously been physically attracted to quite stereotypically "feminine" men! but then I am a bit of a strange one and apparently not a "typical" woman - whatever one of those is!

burlingtonfl6

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Feminine men in touch with their feelings get nowhere.

This is absolutely not true - and men who ARE in touch with their feelings are not necessarily feminine either - it's very healthy to be aware of your feelings and men who say things like this don't help with the stigma.
My partner is well in touch with his feelings, (he's also 6'2", lifts weights and is very manly!) and I see that as hugely attractive

So you disagree with my comment about a feminine man in touch with his feeling being unattractive to women then state you are with a manly man in touch with his feelings...... so you agree with me

Actually, I have always previously been physically attracted to quite stereotypically "feminine" men! but then I am a bit of a strange one and apparently not a "typical" woman - whatever one of those is!

And now you're with a 6ft 2 weight lifting manly man.....further confirming my argument. 
Many thanks.

AskAsk

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Feminine men in touch with their feelings get nowhere.

This is absolutely not true - and men who ARE in touch with their feelings are not necessarily feminine either - it's very healthy to be aware of your feelings and men who say things like this don't help with the stigma.
My partner is well in touch with his feelings, (he's also 6'2", lifts weights and is very manly!) and I see that as hugely attractive

So you disagree with my comment about a feminine man in touch with his feeling being unattractive to women then state you are with a manly man in touch with his feelings...... so you agree with me

Actually, I have always previously been physically attracted to quite stereotypically "feminine" men! but then I am a bit of a strange one and apparently not a "typical" woman - whatever one of those is!

i am attracted to a man who is a man's man.  looks like he could knock someone over if he got into a fight 
however, behind the physical tough exterior, i would like the man to be soft and in touch with his feminine side.  so tough on the outside and soft on the inside 

CookieMonster

stphnstevey said:

So AFFECTION isn't top of the list for most women?
Most women DON'T see that as important?
If not, what is?
Yes, each women may be different, but there are A LOT of similarities too, we are all human for a start!

Depending on their age, women want different things from a man.
What age are you stphnstevey, and
what age of woman are you looking to woo (assuming that's the reason for the question) and
with what outcome?

Mojisola

stphnstevey said:

I read an article from an experienced marriage councillor who tried to define the reasons the majority of marriages broke down. I followed up with my own short survey of 6 or so women friends, which also confirmed that AFFECTION seemed to top all of their lists

Which got me wondering if there are certain things that the majority of women might be looking for in a relationship   

The problem with working out 'what women want' and then trying to do it in your relationship is that you won't be able to sustain it in the longterm - you have to be true to yourself and find someone who likes who you are.

Thinking of the couples I know well, some are very unlikely partnerships from the outside but they've been together for years and obviously are just right for each other.

If you're meeting women who aren't right for you, it may be worth trying to expand your social life (not possible at the moment, of course) and look for opportunities to find women who already share some of your interests.  That gives you a starting point to get to know each other.