What qualities do women want/value in a relationship?

CookieMonster

AskAsk said:

i don't think men can moan too much as society was created by men ..... women couldn't vote

You are wrong in your assertions, but I'll just choose the main one.
40% of men couldn't vote in the UK in 1914, along with 100% of women - a fact that is usually overlooked, ignored, or brushed over. If you would care to discuss any of the items, please PM me? Ta.
Have a nice day.

aylesby

Going back to the OP
My mum would sing me a lullaby about relationships some 70 years ago that had a chorus wishing my  partner to be
Happy, healthy, wealthy and wise
I have found it a reliable guide through the years.

Pollycat

aylesby said:

Going back to the OP
My mum would sing me a lullaby about relationships some 70 years ago that had a chorus wishing my a partner to be
Happy, healthy, wealthy and wise
I have found it a reliable guide through the years.

Que sera, sera.

AskAsk

annabanana82 said:

AskAsk said:

annabanana82 said:

My Husband and I were talking about this the other day, based on some of the people we know, the alpha in the relationship tends to be taller. For example, two of his Aunties, one who'd you say was the alpha or more dominant one only ever dates or has relationships with shorter men, her Sister however, would never be considered to be alpha or dominant has always gone for much taller men.

I consider myself quite short and I wouldn't be attracted to a man shorter than myself, well I've never found myself attracted to one anyway. 
I'm also overweight but wouldn't be drawn to an overweight partner. 
I don't think I'd be offended if someone didn't fancy me due to my size, if there's no mutual attraction then it's clearly not meant to be.

i haven't found height to have a correlation with 'alpha'  and in fact short men can be quite aggressive in comparison to tall men.  it is almost like they have to make up for their height as they have an inferiority complex about it 

Oh I am a complete believer in short man syndrome, but I think I'd put these men in a different box to the Alpha box 🙂 
We were trying to think of couples we knew where the seemingly more dominant partner was taller and couldn't come up with an example. A lot of the couples we know are of a similar height but we couldn't always determine a stronger partner in all couples. 

i don't think you can use couples as statistics for this trait measure as men are generally taller than women so for most couples, the man would almost be taller, if not significantly so.  then you got the male / female aspect in the relationship so i don't find height in a couple has any correlation to who is the alpha.

i find that men are pretty alpha outwardly so they tend to appear to be the alpha in a relationship to an outsider looking in, but women tend to be more subtle and will tend to be the controller in the relationship when it comes down to it, even though they may not parade around with the alpha trophy like a man would do.

if you asked my husband, he would definitely claim he was the alpha in our relationship, and i would not dispute him at all because although he may state he is the alpha, i am actually the one making all the decisions   

and he is a lot taller than me.

burlingtonfl6

https://nypost.com/2021/01/28/bumble-will-ban-users-for-body-shaming-potential-dates/
One of the dating apps now monitors what your private messages say
''The new restrictions will apply to users’ direct messages as well as those with profiles that openly discriminate against different body types''
''members caught using “language that can be deemed fat-phobic, ableist, racist, colorist, homophobic or transphobic.”
Notice the restrictions don't apply to a mans height!

strawb_shortcake

AskAsk said:

annabanana82 said:

AskAsk said:

annabanana82 said:

My Husband and I were talking about this the other day, based on some of the people we know, the alpha in the relationship tends to be taller. For example, two of his Aunties, one who'd you say was the alpha or more dominant one only ever dates or has relationships with shorter men, her Sister however, would never be considered to be alpha or dominant has always gone for much taller men.

I consider myself quite short and I wouldn't be attracted to a man shorter than myself, well I've never found myself attracted to one anyway. 
I'm also overweight but wouldn't be drawn to an overweight partner. 
I don't think I'd be offended if someone didn't fancy me due to my size, if there's no mutual attraction then it's clearly not meant to be.

i haven't found height to have a correlation with 'alpha'  and in fact short men can be quite aggressive in comparison to tall men.  it is almost like they have to make up for their height as they have an inferiority complex about it 

Oh I am a complete believer in short man syndrome, but I think I'd put these men in a different box to the Alpha box 🙂 
We were trying to think of couples we knew where the seemingly more dominant partner was taller and couldn't come up with an example. A lot of the couples we know are of a similar height but we couldn't always determine a stronger partner in all couples. 

i don't think you can use couples as statistics for this trait measure as men are generally taller than women so for most couples, the man would almost be taller, if not significantly so.  then you got the male / female aspect in the relationship so i don't find height in a couple has any correlation to who is the alpha.

i find that men are pretty alpha outwardly so they tend to appear to be the alpha in a relationship to an outsider looking in, but women tend to be more subtle and will tend to be the controller in the relationship when it comes down to it, even though they may not parade around with the alpha trophy like a man would do.

if you asked my husband, he would definitely claim he was the alpha in our relationship, and i would not dispute him at all because although he may state he is the alpha, i am actually the one making all the decisions   

and he is a lot taller than me.

I don't suppose it does, just an observation on my part.
When I first met my Husband I was really quite shy and my Husband was the outgoing, strong one of the relationship. 20 odd years later and we have met in the middle, I'm the breadwinner so from the outside I suspect a lot of people would see me in a stronger position than my Husband when that's not the case. 
I'd also say lots of men think they make the decisions when its really the wife.

Tokmon

AskAsk said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Gavin83 said:

onomatopoeia99 said:

Iamdebtfree said:

I do agree re taller though. Always loved a very tall man, over 6 ft!

When I tried and failed to do online dating a while back, the number of female profiles that stated a minimum height because (I paraphrase) "I'm 5'10 and he must not be shorter than me when I'm wearing heels" was surprisingly large.  Apparently height matters.

Doesn't matter to me, I'd be fine dating a woman taller than me or shorter than me.  Clever, kind, passionate are the things that matter to me.  I'm not a woman though.

A woman defining a minimum height for a partner is really no different to a man defining a maximum weight for a partner. I suspect the later is more unusual, although having never been on a dating site I could be entirely wrong!

It really is different. 
Can you imagine the uproar in this body positive age (which only really applies to women) if a man openly states he he wouldn't date an overweight woman. It would be seen as sexist.
A woman could announce on the 6 o clock news that she would only date a tall man and it would be perfectly acceptable. 
A woman can do something about her weight but a man can't do anything about his height.
Either way, I think it's perfectly fine for a woman to only date tall me. You can't control what you're attracted to.
It's the double standards I can't stand.

yes, i think you do have a point.  however, i don't think men can moan too much as society was created by men and not women.  i find it niggling when i hear of laws that must have been created by men to control women in the past, like women couldn't vote, women couldn't go to school, women couldn't become bosses, women couldn't wear trousers, women couldn't claim benefits if they were married and their husbands had to do it for them both, women couldn't sleep around but it is fine for a man to do so.

So just because someone of the same gender created a law in the past that is discriminatory that means all people of that gender going forward who were nothing to do with those laws and didn't agree with them at all can't "moan" about anything they find discriminatory in the modern day?... that doesn't sound fair at all...

AskAsk

annabanana82 said:

AskAsk said:

annabanana82 said:

AskAsk said:

annabanana82 said:

My Husband and I were talking about this the other day, based on some of the people we know, the alpha in the relationship tends to be taller. For example, two of his Aunties, one who'd you say was the alpha or more dominant one only ever dates or has relationships with shorter men, her Sister however, would never be considered to be alpha or dominant has always gone for much taller men.

I consider myself quite short and I wouldn't be attracted to a man shorter than myself, well I've never found myself attracted to one anyway. 
I'm also overweight but wouldn't be drawn to an overweight partner. 
I don't think I'd be offended if someone didn't fancy me due to my size, if there's no mutual attraction then it's clearly not meant to be.

i haven't found height to have a correlation with 'alpha'  and in fact short men can be quite aggressive in comparison to tall men.  it is almost like they have to make up for their height as they have an inferiority complex about it 

Oh I am a complete believer in short man syndrome, but I think I'd put these men in a different box to the Alpha box 🙂 
We were trying to think of couples we knew where the seemingly more dominant partner was taller and couldn't come up with an example. A lot of the couples we know are of a similar height but we couldn't always determine a stronger partner in all couples. 

i don't think you can use couples as statistics for this trait measure as men are generally taller than women so for most couples, the man would almost be taller, if not significantly so.  then you got the male / female aspect in the relationship so i don't find height in a couple has any correlation to who is the alpha.

i find that men are pretty alpha outwardly so they tend to appear to be the alpha in a relationship to an outsider looking in, but women tend to be more subtle and will tend to be the controller in the relationship when it comes down to it, even though they may not parade around with the alpha trophy like a man would do.

if you asked my husband, he would definitely claim he was the alpha in our relationship, and i would not dispute him at all because although he may state he is the alpha, i am actually the one making all the decisions   

and he is a lot taller than me.

I don't suppose it does, just an observation on my part.
When I first met my Husband I was really quite shy and my Husband was the outgoing, strong one of the relationship. 20 odd years later and we have met in the middle, I'm the breadwinner so from the outside I suspect a lot of people would see me in a stronger position than my Husband when that's not the case. 
I'd also say lots of men think they make the decisions when its really the wife.

i can't think of a couple that i know where the man is shorter or even the same height as the woman.  the man is always taller, and often by a significant height.  the average height of a woman in the UK is actually quite short at 5ft3, whereas the average height for a man in the UK is 5ft9.  I wasn't surprised at the 5ft3, although i would have thought it was more than that, but i was surprised at the 5ft9 as that is actually quite short for a man.

so it would be difficult to find a man shorter than the average woman or indeed similar height in the UK in a relationship.

from my experience, i find men easily led/persuaded by women when it comes in the home setting but a lot of women seem to leave decisions to their male partner when it comes to financial matters.  i find that you can get your views across easier when it comes to man if you don't use the confrontational approach but the more subtle persuasion approach, as i find men tend to be very proud and do not like to think that they are not running the ship 

strawb_shortcake

AskAsk said:

annabanana82 said:

AskAsk said:

annabanana82 said:

AskAsk said:

annabanana82 said:

My Husband and I were talking about this the other day, based on some of the people we know, the alpha in the relationship tends to be taller. For example, two of his Aunties, one who'd you say was the alpha or more dominant one only ever dates or has relationships with shorter men, her Sister however, would never be considered to be alpha or dominant has always gone for much taller men.

I consider myself quite short and I wouldn't be attracted to a man shorter than myself, well I've never found myself attracted to one anyway. 
I'm also overweight but wouldn't be drawn to an overweight partner. 
I don't think I'd be offended if someone didn't fancy me due to my size, if there's no mutual attraction then it's clearly not meant to be.

i haven't found height to have a correlation with 'alpha'  and in fact short men can be quite aggressive in comparison to tall men.  it is almost like they have to make up for their height as they have an inferiority complex about it 

Oh I am a complete believer in short man syndrome, but I think I'd put these men in a different box to the Alpha box 🙂 
We were trying to think of couples we knew where the seemingly more dominant partner was taller and couldn't come up with an example. A lot of the couples we know are of a similar height but we couldn't always determine a stronger partner in all couples. 

i don't think you can use couples as statistics for this trait measure as men are generally taller than women so for most couples, the man would almost be taller, if not significantly so.  then you got the male / female aspect in the relationship so i don't find height in a couple has any correlation to who is the alpha.

i find that men are pretty alpha outwardly so they tend to appear to be the alpha in a relationship to an outsider looking in, but women tend to be more subtle and will tend to be the controller in the relationship when it comes down to it, even though they may not parade around with the alpha trophy like a man would do.

if you asked my husband, he would definitely claim he was the alpha in our relationship, and i would not dispute him at all because although he may state he is the alpha, i am actually the one making all the decisions   

and he is a lot taller than me.

I don't suppose it does, just an observation on my part.
When I first met my Husband I was really quite shy and my Husband was the outgoing, strong one of the relationship. 20 odd years later and we have met in the middle, I'm the breadwinner so from the outside I suspect a lot of people would see me in a stronger position than my Husband when that's not the case. 
I'd also say lots of men think they make the decisions when its really the wife.

i can't think of a couple that i know where the man is shorter or even the same height as the woman.  the man is always taller, and often by a significant height.  the average height of a woman in the UK is actually quite short at 5ft3, whereas the average height for a man in the UK is 5ft9.  I wasn't surprised at the 5ft3, although i would have thought it was more than that, but i was surprised at the 5ft9 as that is actually quite short for a man.

so it would be difficult to find a man shorter than the average woman or indeed similar height in the UK in a relationship.

from my experience, i find men easily led/persuaded by women when it comes in the home setting but a lot of women seem to leave decisions to their male partner when it comes to financial matters.  i find that you can get your views across easier when it comes to man if you don't use the confrontational approach but the more subtle persuasion approach, as i find men tend to be very proud and do not like to think that they are not running the ship 

Maybe I just know a lot of short men, I know a few couples with taller women, but mostly either taller man or similar height. 

My Husband is taller than me, but when we swapped roles and he became the house husband he really struggled with it and felt he was springing off me. When he worked his wages were all paid to me to sort the bills and children out. 10 years on he finds it much easier and doesn't have the same issues with me working as he did

sevenhills

AskAsk said:

whereas the average height for a man in the UK is 5ft 9, I wasn't surprised at the 5ft 3,

The population in the Nordic countries are over an inch taller on average