What qualities do women want/value in a relationship?

gozaimasu

sevenhills said:

My preference would be a woman with less wealth than myself,

       What about a woman who earns exactly the same as you?

sevenhills said:

 I would very much like to look after and care for someone, so long as I am not being taken advantage of.

It is possible to look after and care for someone without paying for their existence or more than their fair share of bills?

sevenhills

gozaimasu said:

       What about a woman who earns exactly the same as you?

I am sure the love and wanting to be together is much more important, this is just my image of what will work the easiest. Happy to date a millionaire if they are ok

gozaimasu

Millionaire is an extreme. So if a woman earns more than you but allows you to pay for everything so that you feel that you're "looking after" her, then that's ok? What do you want in exchange? Sex on demand even if she doens't want it? Constant blow jobs whenever you want?

onomatopoeia99

gozaimasu said:

. Yeah I'll deffo be alone for the rest of my life but society hasn't so far advanced as to allow us to go to a clinic to end things.

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.
edit- I assume that by "end things" you means end the chance of getting pregnant once and for all

Tokmon

gozaimasu said:

Interesting discussion going on for many months since January.

OP mentioned "affection" and I would say that survey reflects that women want affection that doesn't always lead to sex. Men give affection expecting it to lead to sex. This expectation is a turn off for women.

I've been alone for 5 years and I don't know if I can do another relationship for the rest of my life. I was previously in a relationship for 7 years. At the time we met, we earned the same, but as the years went on, I was more educated than them and had higher earnings potential. It just didn't last, and now I don't think I can accept someone who earns less than me unless they have more savings than me that can make up the financial gap. Otherwise we could never share the same lifestyle and standard of living that I already have (let alone the one that I would aspire to if I was in a couple).

The majority of people in the top 10% of earners in the UK are men, and they are more likely to accept a woman who earns less than them because they get to stick their penis somewhere without having to pay a prostitute. I don't think women in the same wage bracket are as likely to accept men who earn less than them because they want equality.

If you have only been with men who give affection because they expect sex and then the relationship broke down because you were earning more than them and after 7 years didn't want to naturally share your wealth, then i'm not surprised you feel like you never want a relationship again because that sounds like you shouldn't have been together to begin with, and certainly not for 7 years!. 

If your with someone who truly cares about you then they will give you affection naturally because they want too and not having any kind of expectations. After time who earns what doesn't matter as much if your both liked minded when it comes to money because it's natural for one person to earn more than the other.

Pollycat

onomatopoeia99 said:

gozaimasu said:

. Yeah I'll deffo be alone for the rest of my life but society hasn't so far advanced as to allow us to go to a clinic to end things.

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.
edit- I assume that by "end things" you means end the chance of getting pregnant once and for all

It's available on the NHS.

Gavin83

gozaimasu said:

Interesting discussion going on for many months since January.

OP mentioned "affection" and I would say that survey reflects that women want affection that doesn't always lead to sex. Men give affection expecting it to lead to sex. This expectation is a turn off for women.

I've been alone for 5 years and I don't know if I can do another relationship for the rest of my life. I was previously in a relationship for 7 years. At the time we met, we earned the same, but as the years went on, I was more educated than them and had higher earnings potential. It just didn't last, and now I don't think I can accept someone who earns less than me unless they have more savings than me that can make up the financial gap. Otherwise we could never share the same lifestyle and standard of living that I already have (let alone the one that I would aspire to if I was in a couple).

The majority of people in the top 10% of earners in the UK are men, and they are more likely to accept a woman who earns less than them because they get to stick their penis somewhere without having to pay a prostitute. I don't think women in the same wage bracket are as likely to accept men who earn less than them because they want equality.

You sound like you've got a major chip on your shoulder. Maybe you should consider some therapy to work through the issues you clearly have from past relationships. Different sex drives in a major issue in relationships, as you've clearly found out. If you do decide you want to pursue a relationship again maybe look for someone with a similar outlook on various issues as you.

For the record I earn a reasonable amount and I wouldn't want a low earning girlfriend/wife either for the same reasons as you. However I'm not sure where you get the idea from that men just want prostitutes, paid or not. All the men I know are in relationships for reasons beyond just sex. If it was just about sex there'd be little point in considering a relationship at all.

onomatopoeia99

Pollycat said:

onomatopoeia99 said:

gozaimasu said:

. Yeah I'll deffo be alone for the rest of my life but society hasn't so far advanced as to allow us to go to a clinic to end things.

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.
edit- I assume that by "end things" you means end the chance of getting pregnant once and for all

It's available on the NHS.

I know it is, but I also know women that have been refused NHS treatment as "they might change their mind later", which is incredibly patronizing.  It's 2021, not 1821, you'd think society, particularly professionals like doctors, would have moved past attitudes like that.

Pollycat

onomatopoeia99 said:

Pollycat said:

onomatopoeia99 said:

gozaimasu said:

. Yeah I'll deffo be alone for the rest of my life but society hasn't so far advanced as to allow us to go to a clinic to end things.

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.
edit- I assume that by "end things" you means end the chance of getting pregnant once and for all

It's available on the NHS.

I know it is, but I also know women that have been refused NHS treatment as "they might change their mind later", which is incredibly patronizing.  It's 2021, not 1821, you'd think society, particularly professionals like doctors, would have moved past attitudes like that.

Very patronising.

And I would take it further if I asked for the procedure and was refused on that basis.

I remember a terse discussion I had many years ago with a building society about a mortgage application where they wouldn't take my full salary into account (I was the higher earner) because I'd "be starting a family".

Almost 45 years on, I've still not changed my mind.

It used to be available privately at Marie Stopes Cinic but I don't think they do it anymore.

gozaimasu

Sterilization for women should be as easy to obtain as it is for men.  Basically it should be available on demand unless there are clinical reasons why it is not possible.

edit- I assume that by "end things" you means end the chance of getting pregnant once and for all

It's available on the NHS.

I know it is, but I also know women that have been refused NHS treatment as "they might change their mind later", which is incredibly patronizing.  It's 2021, not 1821, you'd think society, particularly professionals like doctors, would have moved past attitudes like that.

Very patronising.

And I would take it further if I asked for the procedure and was refused on that basis.

I remember a terse discussion I had many years ago with a building society about a mortgage application where they wouldn't take my full salary into account (I was the higher earner) because I'd "be starting a family".

Almost 45 years on, I've still not changed my mind.

It used to be available privately at Marie Stopes Cinic but I don't think they do it anymore.

Agree with you both on this pollycat and onomatopoeia - the NHS website quotes "you may be more likely to be accepted for the operation if you're over 30 and have had children". Basically the NHS will decide what you get to do with your body if you're under a certain age. I've known since the age of 15 that I didn't want children, with many people over the years telling me that I would change my mind. Apparently hormones would kick in at the age of 30 and suddenly make me want to look after a screaming puking mess and noise maker that ruins your body, social life and finances.

I remember reading an article many years ago of a 29 year old who wanted a sterilisation on the NHS but was refused. I was in NHS surgery once for a spinal operation, and the surgeon refused to let me sign a DNACPR do not resuscitate order, on the basis that I was too young. My view is that if my heart stops on that operating table, then I'm supposed to die, and I don't want some surgeon playing god to decide that I should be forced to live.