Asking boyfriend to leave at short notice

elsien

boneoracle said:

AskAsk said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Just tell him he has x amount of days to get his things together and leave.
You picked this loser OP so don't act surprised he hasn't lived up to your expectations.

i think the problem here is that the OP wants him to leave tomorrow as she is going off on holiday on friday!

OP - it is very short notice to chuck someone out.  you should really give someone at least a week's notice to vacate and find somewhere else to stay.  if you don't feel safe leaving him at home when you go on holiday, then you have no alternative but chuck him out tomorrow.  it may turn very nasty as people bite when they are backed into a corner, and asking him to go packing tomorrow will provoke nasty.

Exactly this. While he has been obviously  using  you, you have had ample time to give him a date to get out as well. I am in no way defending his behavior, but you should give him a hard set date to get out, but be reasonable and don't sink to his level. Also check any local laws about this, as I have seen situations where someone goes to put out a room or significant  other and the police just show up and say they have a right to be there, then the situation just becomes that much worse.

There aren’t any local laws. What there are is the police not having a clue about the law in these situations and giving incorrect advice. 

lesalanos

Boot him out straight away

Giving him any more time in your house would lead to more issues and you feeling uncomfortable

You do not owe him anything and have no obligation to house him

He already has his next place lined up by the sounds of it anyway

gettingtheresometime

Oh and for my own peace of mind I'd want to get checked over as well...not said to frighten you but as something else to consider

Exodi

I have to agree with the comments regarding changing the locks while he's out and giving him no notice. The main reason I think you should do this is because I'd imagine that if you gave him a week, he'd continually move the goalposts (as he has evidently done multiple times in the past!) and as you are emotionally invested, may be liable to being manipulated here - e.g. "I have an appointment with the council next week and they say it takes two weeks to process, surely I can just stay another couple weeks?"

Plus - if I'm being honest - why should you extend him any further courtesies! He clearly has somewhere else to stay!! His situation is not your problem to solve!

Change the locks - put his stuff outside his work and message him what you've done. Unfortunately, he sounds exactly like a teenager so he will likely never appreciate all you've done for him. Move on and find a real partner.

burlingtonfl6

And next time get a guy who has his s**t together

AskAsk

burlingtonfl6 said:

And next time get a guy who has his s**t together

at least the bloke is not beating her!  some women end up with partners that beat them. 
i don't know how these men still manage to get partners.  i think they are pretty devious and never show their true colours until later on in the relationship when they have anchored their position and it is not easy to get out.

burlingtonfl6

AskAsk said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

And next time get a guy who has his s**t together

at least the bloke is not beating her!  some women end up with partners that beat them. 
i don't know how these men still manage to get partners.  i think they are pretty devious and never show their true colours until later on in the relationship when they have anchored their position and it is not easy to get out.

The bad boy effect.
Some women only want ''nice guys'' when they've had their fill of the bad ones.
The problem is, by that point, nobody wants them.

AskAsk

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

And next time get a guy who has his s**t together

at least the bloke is not beating her!  some women end up with partners that beat them. 
i don't know how these men still manage to get partners.  i think they are pretty devious and never show their true colours until later on in the relationship when they have anchored their position and it is not easy to get out.

The bad boy effect.
Some women only want ''nice guys'' when they've had their fill of the bad ones.
The problem is, by that point, nobody wants them.

lol.  i like your take on women and their views on men 
i guess you are a bloke??

JIL

Cant you go on holiday with him as planned? I hope it's a long journey away and I presume you are driving? Once there sit him down and present him with the evidence of his other woman, get it off your chest about all the things that he has failed to do, swing yourself around and drive yourself home.   Once home pack his stuff into bin liners, drop it off somewhere he can collect it and text him to let him know.
He will soon get the message. He thinks he knows you and how to manipulate you. Time to turn the tables. 

sweetsand

Dear OP
You are a decent one. Sadly, people like you can get used. Yes, it hurts when one is used but it happens to mice people
therefore you have done nothing wrong.
I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever, kick him out, change the locks and cull ALL ties. Be prepared to call the police if things get heated and I hope they never do.
ATB
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