Money Moral Dilemma: Should we pay our friends for hosting a party?

SkintGit

Well the damned cheeck of it.
Not good friends at all, they should cease to become friends at all with this behaviour.
If they asked upfront in the first place then that is totally acceptable but to only ask after the event is absolutely diabolical. If a trader acted this way they would be prosocuted (a should be jailed).
A shamefull situation

Augustus_the_Strong

I don't think this is reasonable unless it's definitely stated and agreed beforehand. The cost of the wine you bring is immaterial.
What a great way to sour the mood and p off your friends. Happy new year.

Pollyflinders

It depends why they hosted the party. If it was after a prior discussion about NYE and what the whole group might do, this pair might have offered to do a party.

If they'd decided to throw a party, it's on them.

An interesting number of newbies on this thread!

Augustus_the_Strong

Also, bad handling of the situation by your (soon-to-be-ex) friends: if they'd said this upfront, no one would have objected, as it's a small amount, but to ask for it afterwards looks grasping & miserly.

indiechickuk

maybe this is just my friends, but any time one of us hosts an event and provides the food and drink, almost everyone at some point in the evening will have said to the hosts 'can I give you some money towards the food/drink?' It's just polite if they're providing everything and saves embarrassment on everyone's part as the hosts can easily say yes or no.
If you were only taking a single bottle of prosecco between 2 people, that implies you knew they would be catering, therefore you could have avoided everything here by asking if they wanted a contribution before they had to come to you for it!

flanker6

warby68 wrote: »

Are you sure it isn't a 'hint' to you that your £9 single bottle of Prosecco between 2 was a rather stingy contribution to the party (assuming that's all you took).

^^^ This!


Lots of people say that the hosts are rude to ask for a contribution towards food and drink. Personally, I think it's rude to only give a £9 bottle of prosecco for a NYE party that includes food and drink and the venue provided!


Maybe they only asked the guests that tried to "take a free ride" to make an additional contribution.


Whilst it isn't god decorum to ask for payment after the event, I think these guests also need to look at their behaviour.

travellingpan

My wife and I were invited to a NYE party by friends of my wife. We were not asked to take anything but we knew we'd be there for several hours and if anything we took too much. Prossecco, vodka, peach schnapps and half sized bottle of flavoured gin along with 4 beers, tonic water, lemonade and a few large packs of poppadoms. We arrived and there was plenty of food and drink already, and other couples turning up all seemed to have brought varying amounts of goodies. We drank and ate lots and I had lots of drinks I had not taken with me. Hosting a party is extremely expensive nowadays, its courteous not to take advantage. If you are always the person/couple who brings a single bottle of wine between you, but then go on drinking and eating everybody else's food and drink then maybe you should question whether you took enough with you? If I was hosting and I had a guest who we knew would likely not bring much with them, I doubt I would say anything, if I did then it would be done so with humour, and certainly I wouldn't follow up by requesting money from them retrospectively, but for them to have had to ask, then they probably wouldn't have done so lightly. Are you a serial cheapskate? If you never host and never bring a suitable amount with you, then it will probably rile not only the host but also the other guests. Put it down to experience, pay the £6 each... £10pp for a night out is a bargain and your hosts will already have subsidised that amount, do not mention the bottle of prossecco. Of course, everybody's circumstances are different, if your host knows you cannot afford it and has still asked you to come and then still has requested money, then its shame on them not you but I'd still be inclined to give them the £12 and remember it for the future.

DAB_53

Not worth losing friends over £6 a head and did they provide drinks as well as your Prosecco? Yes it should have been clear before the night that the plan was to share costs but you’ve had a cheap night out for £6 each. Next year suggest you each contribute a course, one couple bring starters, host does mains, someone else brings dessert etc.

NBLondon

I would have thought that if this was a party with friends (whether 6 friends or 60 friends) most would have raised this question beforehand as "can I bring something?" Giving the option of contributing a dish, extra drinks or for the hosts to say "can you chip in a fiver each as I'm getting in a lot of extra stuff?" Friends might also have a vague idea of whether the hosts were in a financial position to pay for everything.

The posters who are saying "It was cheaper than a restaurant" have an interesting angle - if I go to a party, I'm going in order to see my friends, not to price it up against a night on the tiles.

peachyprice

Goodness me, do people really host parties then realise after the event they couldn't afford it?

If they were on a tight budget they should have made it clear from the off that it was a bring a dish/bottle party. Billing people after id just plain rude.

Although as it's a MMD it's unlikely to never have really happened.