Money Moral Dilemma: Should we pay our friends for hosting a party?

jcarrollhodge

Been in this situation when being asked to parties, its an invite you dont pay, as its a small amount pay but make new friends

Jo9999

I can't believe how many people think these people should be ignored. Everyone should be given a word about their behaviour, as they obviously don't know how rude they are. I would tell them they should have asked before the party, but £6 is not worth losing a friendship over.

warby68

Are you sure it isn't a 'hint' to you that your £9 single bottle of Prosecco between 2 was a rather stingy contribution to the party (assuming that's all you took).

Pollycat

SuperPikachu wrote: »

Pollycat you sure do love a forum argument :P

Really?
I'd simply missed the post that mentioned £100.
I'd gone back and read the original post and couldn't see where the £100 per head had originated from.
My bad. :doh:


I'm not looking a for a "forum argument" at all.

Pollycat

Manlikedave19 wrote: »

This happened to me a few months back and has happened since... a few friends hosted firework night at their place, food, drinks etc and I was invited so I went. There was no mention ever of needing to contribute towards anything, so I went thinking nothing of it. These guys tend to go crazy and spend alot, their choice of course. I left the next day and was surprised to receive a text from one of the friends purely saying "nice to see you on the weekend, we spent £350 so if you can transfer £100 (£50 each) that'll be great" I was surprised to say the least!

I disputed it of course but ive known these guys many years and its easy to see how people can fall out and its definitely wrong when I was given no heads up, if id have known it was going to cost me £100 i wouldn't have gone!

They done a similar thing over xmas since then where they hosted xmas dinner and asked me for £50 as they went crazy and spent hundreds... the last argument was cleared up so I knew about this time but still, why is it costing me £50 everytime something happens now?!

Because you're still accepting their invitations to events where they 'go crazy and spend a lot' and expect their friends to help pay for it...?

iclayt

Without knowing how many guests were at the party it's hard to judge what exactly counts as a reasonable amount per head, but I don't think £12 is worth quibbling over. Yes they should have told you in advance but it isnt the end of the world. If they had, would you have still paid, or not gone?

I might text back "No problem, we will pop round with it at the weekend, would have gladly brought it on the night if we'd known, see you soon!"

Incidentally, you didn't take enough booze. Actually, as you refer to the prosecco as a gift - you didn't really take any! Even if someone offers to host without expecting payment, to show up as good as empty handed isn't a great way to thank them.

mrswood

I would just offer payment to keep the peace and friendship. Next year either ask upfront before accepting their invitation or have a ready made excuse not to go. Happy New Year whatever you decide.

Cookiepops

strange that they were charging £6 per head for food yet it says they supplied food and drink, I'd have thought the drink would be significantly more. That said, depending on how good friends they are, I would pay the £12 but just mention it next time that it would be nice to know in advance. I'm pretty sure there will be other people at the party who will kick up a stink about it.

Pamspy

I would pay the £12. As you say you had a wonderful time. I’ve hosted many New Year’s Eve parties and without asking people have always brought plenty to drink and on occasions food as well. New Year’s Eve we have usually had fireworks too and guests have always provided a contribution. As the host they have all the planning to do and cleaning up the following day. A bottle of prosecco and £12 is a very cheap New Year’s Eve option. Many restaurants and pubs were charging 10 times that amount on New Years Eve.

TheAble

Pay it but obviously don't attend any of their parties in future.