Money Moral Dilemma: Should we pay our friends for hosting a party?

Milie

That isn’t how it works. They give a party and you take a bottle. Another time you give a party and they bring one. I don’t think you should pay.
A couple of times when I’ve catered for groups of people on a Friday night because I happen to be retired, they aren’t and it’s cheaper than all getting a takeaway/pub meal, I’ve said in advance that I will collect a fiver each for the food and we’ve all contributed booze.
It’s been fine. Most of them have then at some point invited me back without asking me to pay. So I’m quids in!

belstead

I used to regularly host a NYE party for friends and the first time suggested a contribution per head. Everyone was happy to contribute, a boozy NYE party can be an expensive venture especially if food is provided as well.

My place is large enough to host a decent sized party and they all had the additional benefit of not having to prep or clear up afterwards.

Having said that I would never dream of asking for a contribution after holding a party but given it's such a small amount is it really worth refusing and falling out over it? You're obviously on good enough terms to have been invited originally, for the sake of £6, and the £9 prosecco, let it slide. After all, where else could you have enjoyed NYE as much for such a small price?

Pollycat

benedictadams wrote: »

a £100 a head for food?

did mumsnet woman indicate what you got for that huge figure?

Where did you get this 'huge figure' from? :huh:

belstead

Pollycat wrote: »

Where did you get this 'huge figure' from? :huh:

It's mentioned in the post immediately before that one.

dionysoss

I think it is a bit cheeky to be asking to pay for the food AFTER the party. It doesn't sound like there was any mention of payment before hand. I don't you should make the payment. If anything that bottle of prossecco should be enough.

JenniT

Like TBagPuss this isn't worth losing a good friend over but can't quite believe anyone has the chutzpah to ask for a contribution out of the blue after the event - perhaps there is real financial hardship there but in that case I'd hope they're good enough friends to fess up to that and you would understand and not make them feel embarrassed by it. I'd take one of them out for a coffee and have a grownup chat about the fact that setting expectations is the reasonable thing to do, and maybe start planning for a more collaborative effort for the next NY ... but yes the bottom line is if you want to give your friends a party, yes it can cost a lot so be clear you can afford it before it happens. What goes around comes around generally speaking (not always) and generosity is almost always reciprocated, so if you love your friends give yourself a sensible budget, line up at Aldi etc for all the best deals, and enjoy the great feeling!

Pollycat

belstead wrote: »

It's mentioned in the post immediately before that one.

OK.
Not really relevant to this 'MMD' though.
The quote function is good to show which post you are commenting on.

benedictadams

Pollycat wrote: »

Where did you get this 'huge figure' from? :huh:

Obviously your friends are very :money: as a similar quandary on Mumsnet was £100 a head
:eek:

surprised you read my post and noticed the huge figure but didn't notice the post directly above

benedictadams

if the post hadn't been directly above I would have quoted it

but thought as the two were following each other it would be obvious

and i'm sure I'm not the only one to see that figure and think what are you getting for that ridiculous amount,

Eileenpamela

If you are invited to a NYE party where the food and drink are being provided, maybe you should reconsider whether taking a £9 bottle of Prosecco is inadequate.

I agree it is rather awkward to ask for money after the event, but maybe they were upset at how little guests contributed. Maybe they should have asked their guests to “bring a plate of food” as a contribution to the evening,

But, £9 for two to go to a NYE party that includes food and drink, is “taking the biscuit”, in my opinion. Make a fuss about paying and I doubt you would be invited anywhere again.

Maybe they should have asked for the contribution to be given to charity.