Money Moral Dilemma: Should we pay our friends for hosting a party?

silvercar

I wonder if they sent the same message to everyone, or only to those who didn't arrive with copious amounts of food/ drink?

Tweety2020

I think what’s happened here is that the hosts have invited a load of people over who have brought nothing, or very little with them and they’ve then ate and drank everything on offer without a thought.
The next day they have realised the mistake they have made by not asking the guests to contribute (you shouldn’t have to be asked imo) and have decided to ‘bill’ everyone? Some of them? a small amount to make up for the large cost to them.
I think £6 each is not asking much at all, especially on NYE. I agree with the other posters who said you didn’t take enough. I’m sorry but a £9 bottle of wine is a pretty paltry offering when you knew full well that you’d be drinking at least a bottle each and maybe shots after aswell.
I’d be pretty annoyed if guests showed up at my house with nothing. It’s common courtesy.
I certainly wouldn’t fall out with them over this. I don’t think charging people was the plan, just cheeky people have forced their hand.

brewthebear

How tight go to a NYE party and only take a £9 bottle for two of you. Wouldnt be inviting you again. Where can anyone go NYE and only spend £9 that really is a cheek....

Bellisima

Whenever we are invited to a party involving food, I usually offer to make something, like a lasagne or a pudding, which is always welcomed by the host. It’s just what I always do. We then bring our own drink which is nice cider for OH and coke for me as I don’t drink alcohol, and a bottle of something for the host.

Hosting a party can be very, very expensive and I think offering a bottle of Prosecco is a bit mean in my eyes. I’m sure if all guests had brought their own drinks or offered to contribute to the food this wouldn’t have happened. Although I do think it is odd to ask for money after the event. You have a fabulous night out for £9-12. Still sounds a pretty good deal though!

SandC

I don't often go to parties but when I do I ask if I should bring something - and even if they say no I still do.

£9 bottle of prosecco is fine as a gift but you should also bring your own drinks or a contribution at least. I always bring what I think I might drink then double it - as if they've made a punch or something I'll indulge in some of that without a doubt. :-)

I reckon they found that they were expecting people to contribute more than they did. Personally I'd have let it go but next time said in advance to bring booze/food along. They may simply be making a point with this request to make their guests think and be a bit more considerate if they host a party again.

SuiDreams

I remember years ago, my Ex's brother and his girlfriend invited the his family and us for a dinner party at their house, and that they would supply everything, a couple of days before we were told we would need to bring £20 each to cover our food and drink.

peachyprice

Tweety2020 wrote: »

I’m sorry but a £9 bottle of wine is a pretty paltry offering when you knew full well that you’d be drinking at least a bottle each and maybe shots after aswell.

Where does it say that happened?

JWM

SandC wrote: »

I don't often go to parties but when I do I ask if I should bring something - and even if they say no I still do.

£9 bottle of prosecco is fine as a gift but you should also bring your own drinks or a contribution at least. I always bring what I think I might drink then double it - as if they've made a punch or something I'll indulge in some of that without a doubt. :-)

I reckon they found that they were expecting people to contribute more than they did. Personally I'd have let it go but next time said in advance to bring booze/food along. They may simply be making a point with this request to make their guests think and be a bit more considerate if they host a party again.

Totally disagree.

If you are invited to a party then of course its polite to bring a gift for the host (and I always do), but expecting people to bring their 'own' drink defeats the whole object of hosting surely?

Completely different if cost is specified upfront but I think its incredibly rude to 'bill' people after the event. £6 or £60 its not the money its the principle.

Perhaps its a generational thing, but as an older person I assume (both as a host and as a guest) that because the host has invited you then they can afford all food and drink on offer. Its a new thing expecting your invited guests to contribute - this also applies to weddings!

As I said, completely different if a contribution is asked for when the invite is issued. If you can't afford to pay for your own party then don't invite people to join you.

flanker6

JWM wrote: »

If you are invited to a party then of course its polite to bring a gift for the host (and I always do), but expecting people to bring their 'own' drink defeats the whole object of hosting surely?
Dunno . . . I think the purpose of hosting is to bring friends together. If the hosts are gracious enough to offer their home as a venue, do all the organisation work etc, then they should expect reasonable people to come bearing food and/or drinks. If this wasn't reasonable, why do you always take supplies?


Perhaps its a generational thing, but as an older person I assume (both as a host and as a guest) that because the host has invited you then they can afford all food and drink on offer.
Whether they can afford to or not, it's bad form to show up to a house party empty handed. To show up expecting a free night would make the hosts feel unvalued.
And I don't think it's generational . . . this has been the way things have worked for donkey's years.
Its a new thing expecting your invited guests to contribute - this also applies to weddings!
Different thing. The wedding is for the Bride and Groom. I agree that weddings should be budgeted so that guests are invited without cost.

As I said, completely different if a contribution is asked for when the invite is issued. If you can't afford to pay for your own party then don't invite people to join you.
I agree that this would be better. But, I think it's kind of an unwritten rule with my circle of friends that we show up with booze to parties. . . so it never gets mentioned.

Doing a bit of "detective work", any couple that show up for a NYE party with a £9 bottle between them seem like !!!!!!!!!!s. The hosts may just be at the end of their tether with this couple.

flanker6

flanker6 wrote: »

Doing a bit of "detective work", any couple that show up for a NYE party with a £9 bottle between them seem like !!!!!!!!!!s. The hosts may just be at the end of their tether with this couple.

The editing makes it look like I was obscene . . .


I actually referred to the tight guests as fr ee - lo ad ers!