Money Moral Dilemma: Should we pay our friends for hosting a party?

MSE_Sarah

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

We had a wonderful time with friends who hosted on New Year's Eve. We brought a £9 bottle of prosecco as a gift - they supplied drinks and food. We then got a message mentioning that the food cost was £6 per adult, implying they wanted payment. They hadn't indicated before that we'd be paying for food. Should we pay up or make a fuss?

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TBagpuss

I would be inclined to respond to say something along the lines of "We were a bit surprised to get your message, as we had understood that you were hosting the party, and there had not been any discussion or suggestion of guests making a financial contribution.
We'd suggest that if you want to ask for contributions, it would be better to do this in advance, so that everyone knows where they stand."

However, given that they are only asking for a small amount and that you had a fantastic time, I would also give them the money, and see your bottle of bubbly as you originally intended it, a gift. It would be a pity to fall out over £12. Maybe they originally intended to host but found themselves in financial difficulty

SuperPikachu

Think @TBagpuss has pretty much said everything I would have thought to.

Pollycat

Very rude - imho - to host a party then ask for a contribution towards food after the event (that's what it sounds like to me anyway).

But why 'make a fuss'?
Either pay up or don't.
And next time they host an event, make sure you understand what they are expecting as a financial contribution.

kangoora

Tell them you want £9 payment for your bottle of Prosecco, therefore you only 'owe' then £3

Then say that for future events you'll require an itemised bill in advance before agreeing to attend.

Marvel1

They should have made it clear when they invited you.

Owain_Moneysaver

Just message back saying how well they did to put on such a fantastic spread for £6 and you're so glad you don't have to feel embarrassed about how much they spent.

Obviously your friends are very :money: as a similar quandary on Mumsnet was £100 a head :eek:

benedictadams

a £100 a head for food?

did mumsnet woman indicate what you got for that huge figure?

cbrown7

Get new friends!

Teacher2

If you are going to charge for a party you need to make it clear in advance.

pamboulton

Clearly supplying both food and drink for a party is very generous. In the circumstances to refuse to pay as requested or ‘ make a fuss’ would be inappropriate. You might try making the contribution whilst making clear you hadn’t realised that was the plan, so suggest you should all be much more open about the arrangements next time