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Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
1.5K replies 362.3K views
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  • pollyanna_26pollyanna_26 Forumite
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    Thanks for the update Ss. I certainly aren't judging and I don't believe any of us here have the right to approve or not your decisions .
    Providing ds does make the transition to the GFs house organically in time I know you will feel better emotionally if things happen that way. That doesn't mean letting him distrupt your day to day life. If he's aound he needs to do his fair share of things and if he doesn't it's peobably best to draw the line and tell him to go.
    I feel quite sorry for the GF. I know you've said she has her own difficulties but if they are getting on OK together which seems the case as he spends so much time with her it may be the best solution.
    Thinking back to when you had the flu she was the one who saw exactly what needed doing and got ds working with her to sort food and drink for you and sort the house and children out..
    That's a very different scenario from when he and the ex were together turning perfectly good homes into messy , filthy pits and spending their time crashed out which led to the police and SS scenario.
    I'm glad you're going to look at some benefits to give you some respite for your hand to heal and things to settle down. You've paid into the system all your life and it's there for times like this.
    In these rather strange times when none of us are out and about as much as usual it's a chance to look at our lives and as you've always done plot and plan for the days ahead.
    You need to prioritise your physical and mental health above all else. Without that things will be difficult for you all. It's not being selfish it's being sensible.
    pollyx
    ps How are you beamie?

    It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.
  • hb2hb2 Forumite
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    Beanie, how is puss?

    Savvy, might you be eligible for the coronavirus Self Employed Income Support Scheme? You would need to have had more than 50% of your income from self-employment over the past 3 years and the grant would be a proportion of your average earnings over those years.
    It's not difficult!
    'Wander' - to walk or move in a leisurely manner.
    'Wonder' - to feel curious.
  • tessie_beartessie_bear Forumite
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    Ss please take care of yourself and your kids and your mum if your son is moving around xx
    (long time lurker) posting because im worried about you all
    onwards and upwards
  • *Robin**Robin* Forumite
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    Ss, you amaze me..  sometimes I need a rest after just reading how much you have to fit into your days!
    Lots of folk saying send DS off to live "officially" with his GF - but wasn't there a problem with her benefits if she lets him move in, rather than just being an overnight visitor?  I am wondering whether there would be room at Biggest's house for a caravan in her garden?  She is not as willing to bend to his desires, could probably use his occasional help, and a caravan would be a much cheaper option than a camper-van.
  • thorsoakthorsoak Forumite
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    The problems of DS and his GF are not the responsibilities of Ss - and I for one will not put them on the already-overburned shoulders of Ss x
  • beanieloubeanielou Forumite
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    hb2~~.  Thanks for asking.
    The cat is not at his best at the moment.  :(
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
    **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **
    MFW. 9 months to go. B)
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
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