Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism 5 January 2020 at 7:27PM edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families 1.8K replies 472.2K views

Savvy_sewing

Sorry about the cat Beannie.
take care of you.
 I am reluctant to make DS go under a cloud. I think he is distancing himself and he said yesterday, be it in a message that the situation was "crippling " him.
 I can understand that. Although it is all of his own making. But unless he wants to change the way he lives, acts, engages there is nothing  more that I can do for him.
He has only been at the GFs house or here, apart from the supermarket where he wears masks and gloves. He is obsessive with hand sanitizer, which is why I will allow him near the family. Also because GF is scared to go out anywhere then I am reasonably confident that nobody has been in touch with anyone remotely unwell. Of course that is still a risk, but probably less then my taking the boys to and from school and nursery. 

When I said he was smoking in the van I didn't actually mean cannibis, I meant smoking in general. I don't allow it in the house and don't want it in the van. It will devalue the van, and it is a fire risk as the van has gas and I doubt the foam seating is compliant with today's standards and it looks like the original 80's fabric.
 I also would not want the children going in there if he has been smoking.
Dgd continues to improve her moods etc but has reverted to ignorance when it comes to school work.
 I have invested in a WiFi extender in my cabin, so I am going to be making her come in to the desk at the other end with her laptop and do work when Biggest is not working there.
 I have managed to do quite a few small alterations/repairs as well as a few final masks on order so feeling less anxiety as I now know exactly what I am going to have to do.
The other granny has called today and is going to have the boys at the stable yard after school tomorrow. Which will allow me even more time to catch up with things in the house in the morning and the cabin for a few hours in the afternoon.
 I stopped about an hour ago, and have had a long hot bubble bath and now feel a bit more relaxed.

pollyanna_26

Savvy_sewing said:

Sorry about the cat Beannie.
take care of you.
 I am reluctant to make DS go under a cloud. I think he is distancing himself and he said yesterday, be it in a message that the situation was "crippling " him.
 I can understand that. Although it is all of his own making. But unless he wants to change the way he lives, acts, engages there is nothing  more that I can do for him.
He has only been at the GFs house or here, apart from the supermarket where he wears masks and gloves. He is obsessive with hand sanitizer, which is why I will allow him near the family. Also because GF is scared to go out anywhere then I am reasonably confident that nobody has been in touch with anyone remotely unwell. Of course that is still a risk, but probably less then my taking the boys to and from school and nursery. 

When I said he was smoking in the van I didn't actually mean cannibis, I meant smoking in general. I don't allow it in the house and don't want it in the van. It will devalue the van, and it is a fire risk as the van has gas and I doubt the foam seating is compliant with today's standards and it looks like the original 80's fabric.
 I also would not want the children going in there if he has been smoking.
Dgd continues to improve her moods etc but has reverted to ignorance when it comes to school work.
 I have invested in a WiFi extender in my cabin, so I am going to be making her come in to the desk at the other end with her laptop and do work when Biggest is not working there.
 I have managed to do quite a few small alterations/repairs as well as a few final masks on order so feeling less anxiety as I now know exactly what I am going to have to do.
The other granny has called today and is going to have the boys at the stable yard after school tomorrow. Which will allow me even more time to catch up with things in the house in the morning and the cabin for a few hours in the afternoon.
 I stopped about an hour ago, and have had a long hot bubble bath and now feel a bit more relaxed.

I think as long as you stick to not enabling your sons behaviour if he doesn't change his ways things should be calmer Ss. I remember you saying he was obsessive about sanitizer etc. My mention of who he might be meeting up with was more whether any of the previous bad role models were around.

When I was still able to drive no one was allowed to smoke in my car and never in the house. Both the gas and foam in the camper are an accident waiting to happen and you are right to ban smoking there and around all the GC. As Corona is a respitory disease it's not helpful to anyone to be around smoke.

Good to her DGDs moods continue to improve and I think the WIFI extender in the cabin and her doing the homework under your eagle eye is a very good idea.

I'm glad you feel less anxious now you've thought things through managed a bit more work and with the boys at the stable yard tomorrow will have time to catch up with both house tasks and some work.

I bet that bubble bath was very theraputic and well earned. Once everyone is settled for the night enjoy a bit of you time.

Wishing you a peaceful evening and some restful sleep.

pollyx

elisamoose

As a LAC child dgd should be entitled to a place in school. I know she may not be keen but for every bodies sanity maybe it is worth a try

pollyanna_26

Love and positive vibes to you beanie, Master J and Mr N. I know when we had more than one mog in the house a very poorly one was a soure of concern to the other one.

Master J is hanging on well, may he slip gently into perfect painfree peace when the time comes.

I hope all is well with you and you're managing as well as possible.

Love Pollyx

beanielou

Thank you so much polly  xx

hb2

(((beanie))) sending calming and healing vibes for kitty  ~~~~~~~ 

Ss, I'm glad you are feeling less anxious again now.

pollyanna_26

beanielou said:

Thank you so much polly  xx

No problem beanie. You're very much in my thoughts at the moment. It's very sad neither he or his sister had more time with you. Comfort yourself in the knowledge you took them in, became their mum and loved and cared for both. Hopefully you'll have lots of good memories to look back on over the years. We still laugh at memories form over the years. Cat of the heart had a manic half hour every day and would race through the house and up and down the stairs like a whirling dervish until he'd calmly walk away. We always suspected the large clump of catmint he lay in on sunny days had a lot to do with that. He had little frog friends he'd gently carry in to show us and we had to watch said frog have a wander until he was gently carried back to his pond.

Every year there would be a new blackbird friend with distinctive white wing markings. The newest member of a generation who I suspect one has been dropped on the head after birth. the fledglings would fall off fences and I was forever climbing over a 7ft fence to rescue them and return to the screeching parents.. latest blackbird woud be alongside cat in the sun and i swear they were having conversations. He was a loving but very strange cat very gentle but with an odd assortment of friends. I think his funniest thing was when he tried to bring a baby hedgehog indoors to meet us. He never tried that again.

Cherish your memories beanie and take care of yourself.

pollyx

gizmo111

elisamoose said:

As a LAC child dgd should be entitled to a place in school. I know she may not be keen but for every bodies sanity maybe it is worth a try

She is not a LAC child - There is a Special Guardianship Order in place in favour of SS which gives her overriding PR for DGD.  Although as a vulnerable child they may offer her a place.

elisamoose

Sorry I thought she had at one point been subject to care proceedings. In my LA/ Academy trust she would certainly be offered a place. 

gizmo111

elisamoose said:

Sorry I thought she had at one point been subject to care proceedings. In my LA/ Academy trust she would certainly be offered a place. 

elisamoose said:

Sorry I thought she had at one point been subject to care proceedings. In my LA/ Academy trust she would certainly be offered a place. 

Yes she was subject to Care Proceedings about 10 years ago, the permanency outcome was SGO to SS, at which point she stopped being a Looked After Child.  She may well be offered a place under different criteria but not because she is LAC or at risk of significant harm.