NST June 2019 - Ninja powers

thriftylass

Good morning,

thanks for all the supportive messages re DH. Well, we actually did it. Had the chat, properly this time (last attempt was one or two years ago and he wasn't really in it). This time was different as I think that his situation has worsened enough to scare him bit.

So Sunday afternoon he sat down without being prompted and looked through his statements to get his numbers ready and as soon as the kids were in bed he initiated the meeting. So far so good. But.... his debt is much worse than I though, I wonder if last time he just didn't tell me the whole story (I thought hundreds but it's a few thousand). He said he doesn't want to go on like this especially as he came to realise how much less I earn and how I have tried to pay off so much and save for us. He doesn't just owe me money but also some mates and his dad. Shocked is an understatement. Anyway, he said his going out and drinking is out of control, he spends too much on lunches etc. We agreed to postpone the house move from summer 2020 to 2021, so this can be sorted and we have time to save. He suggested he will keep a spending tally to see where his money is going as he doesn't know. We know he spends a lot on fuel and family thing like trips to his father but we think that's not the problem. He would also like to take more HM lunches to work....and obviously drink and go out less.

This time he approached it differently and I believe this wasn't just empty words. I genuinely hope actions will follow the promises. I'll keep you updated on our progress.

Also having had the chat in the way we did, I will definitely have the courage to chase him up on it rather than letting it slip again.

Calling14

I must post daily my memory is so bad


Thursday - NSD and painted my decking 1 niggly job done.
Friday - NSD - a night in.

Saturday - good beach walk in the am. lunch out with friends £15 spend followed by another walk with a friend, wine in her garden.
Sunday - Toy Story daughter had already paid for. Did shopping after and then popped for a quiet walk around the zoo without kids. Both exhausted. Little GD wasnt well all day, then came up with rash and blisters in the evening. Long trip for my dd to get to see a Doc but she's okay. Allergy he reckons.


Realise that my life is drama free compared to some of my friends, who seem to be stuck in most of time, being carers for relatives. I must make the most of my freedom and get out walking at the very least in the evenings.


Mistara I struggle now and again with IBS find spicy food and wine biggest trigger plus getting stressed . Always find when I go away I get nervous and this can sometimes ruin a few days away.


Thrifty remember you having chats previously. Hope you manage to get him on track. You must have a good relationship to stay together.


Had a bad night with arm pain, sure it is somehow caused by my upper back. Relunctant to spend more money on it. Had a hot shower to get it in shape for work this morning. Result now tired and eating lots of yogurty raisins. 450 cals eek.


Today spendy day needed some face wash, eye make up remover.

Another niggly job done, sorted out my house insurance. :T


Grateful for
We haven't had the great storms forecast here yet.

Gd being alright.

Local zoo - how relaxing a late afternoon walk around there was yesterday.

apple_muncher

Today I am grateful for a fairly mellow day at work, for an unpredictable colleague not blowing up at an email I sent, for having a car, for the poppies in my garden, for dd loving her induction day, for being looked after, for wanting for nothing, for starting on tidying and seeing a few small puddles and a couple of droplets appear.

laurenh1

Thrifty- you have my full sympathy, my husband was a nightmare with cash but I'm pleased to say he turned it around - hang in there!

greent

thrifty - glad to hear that OH seems finally to be on board - long may it continue! :T

NSD today - much of the day spent ironing! Have had a look at finances and we are desperately short the next few months - DD has just received another OP repayment letter from SFE and things were already tight. Ah well - we'll survive! Worst case scenario is I divert money from OPs/ hol fund for a while - will see if I can juggle to avoid doing so

Today I am thankful for lots of cherries from our tree (freezing them for jam - yum), strawbs from the garden (again will be jam!), sunny weather, a day without work

Things out: an excellent condition top added to CS pile.

sashanut

Hi all:j


Minimise: 2 items sold & 2 items returned so 4 packages out of the house today. Just sold a pair of sandals so they will be off tomorrow.

Bills Looking to get some secondary DG on our old windows to help with heating this place. This will be a long-term project IMHO. To that end:

Clutter: Lots to clear before even survey to do windows could be organised. Keeping going with the clutter, a little every day. I WILL get this house cleared. More clearing done, hoping that the 'puddles' will eventually join into a lake..will do another bit after this post. Trying to do a little each day, will do some more now. See minimising above - sold another item & will be taking some things to CS tomorrow, if I can sneak them past the head honcho..

Spending: Need to budget for groceries. Starting with £300 including pet food. Have receipt ready to file, but about £35/300. Was going to be an NSD but had to pay for a book, then had a voucher expiring for 25% off ferry crossing so booked trip for November. Used CB as well so came in very cheaply. Spending today as had to order dog food in bulk, plus postage for parcels.

Unnecessary spends: Did order some sandals for myself, were not necessary.

Waste: No waste today


Maximise:
Dreams (dream big): Would like to fit the DG as mentioned earlier, also need the driveway doing but would be a very large amount of cash as it's so big....Clearing the clutter will help enormously with this, both financially & in the long term. Outside painting needed now, will be a big job & need scaffolding. This again will be £££. Sold 2 DVDs & was paid for those. Was paid again for the DVDs - will have to refund though..Aim to sell some items tomorrow as it is forecast to be sunny - so can photograph things & also people more inclined to buy summer clothing...that's the theory anyhow! Have sold 3 items now so will keep on with it & have transferred money into b/a.

Fruit and veg intake: Definitely need to increase F&V consumption, on this. Fruit eaten & some veg incorporated into supper. Same again today. Not too bad with f&V today.

Getting niggly jobs done: Painting inside & out, get builder to fit cowl on chimneys, get chimney swept, painting outside as well. All our jobs are niggly, but DH did get some outstanding ones done. Need to cut down some vegetation at gate as DH scraped the old car as the gate won't now fully open, so now a Priority. Also a couple of little jobs for DH, flushed with his success with the DW he may be amenable. Which is appropriate as one of them is tightening the toilet seat.... He actually cut down the stuff at the gate today. None today, although I did sort out a load of packaging so now it is ready for my next sales instead of running round like a headless chicken trying to find a bag to put the stuff in.

Health: Lose approx. a stone & a half. Am trying with this, helps that DD is not here. Feel slimmer - does that count? Weigh in shows no loss - no gain either though! Still on it. Not too bad today although made scones & ate one. Scone may have been eaten again. Hmm Tonight was a doughnut & DD brought back cake from her friends house party. Diet not very good today, lets see what the scales say.


Meal Planning: Need to meal plan as tend to go with the flow, and it doesn't always work out. Have plenty of food in but still need to plan. Have a vague plan for tomorrow but need to clear fridges to check on supplies. Not done as kitchen vilely hot.

Moving more - Most exercise taken as gardening. Todays exercise was a bit of gardening.

Time with those you love: DH & DD today, plus the animals.

NSD: still 13/15


Check in every day Here I am, hello folks

laurenh1

Hi guys



I dont have much to report, funeral today so will be a spend day but I'm driving & I dont drink anyway so it wont cost me much. I'm a little apprehensive about the funeral. I dont know why, I'm not great in these situations.

I was due to drop off my kids swimming towels in town to have their badges sewn on, but my friend at work said she would do them. Saves me six quid (I've let them build up) I'm actually not a bad sewer but I want these to look neater than I could manage.
Still plugging through these bloomin tea bags! :eek:

SpekySquarehead

Yesterday was number 12 for me,

Thrifty - I can be a difficult conversation to have but it seems its now all out in the open. With you by his side, I know you'll manage.

dolly84

Thrifty - hope your DH carries on moving in the right direction. If he wants a good future for his family he has to grow up and stop wasting money on rubbish, we've all had to learn that, I just wish I'd learnt that lesson 30 years ago.


sashanut - why doesn't your charity shop like you to donate?



My car is in the garage today, it is under warranty so won't be a spend. Small spend yesterday, I called into Morrisons next to the kids school to see if they had the package free veg aisle - they do not , I bought two loose bananas and the new vegan pizza they are doing, unfortunately I didn't like the pizza much so won't buy again, good to try but my own hm one is way better.

Deni_debt-free_dreamer

Afternoon everyone
It was DD1's birthday yesterday. She decided she didn't want to go out for a meal so we had a buffet style tea instead. I was going to give her some money as well as X number of presents but on adding up the total spend I realised i'd spent a good amount and she was very pleased with everything. So she had a lovely birthday and it didn't cost a fortune
I've given DD2 money to pay for her prescription but trying not to spend on anything else today.
My car is in the garage tomorrow so hoping that will not be too costly...
Gratitudes - lovely birthday for DD1 surrounded by all the people she loves the most; huge bag of Yorkshire tea bags at work; got given a small bottle of wine and some chocolates from a nice person at FT job as a thank you
Take care all
Deni xx