Equity - Boyfriend - new house argument

getmore4less

Annieireland71 wrote: »

he has 3 children.

2 ex wives - several failed businesses as well

he quit the job pretty much the day themortgge completed. but he said he had savings to keep us going

his famiy told ne that he had changed when he met me - now they saw they want nothng to do with him

The £24k you just gave him.

It's like the glowing reference you give for an employee you want to leave.

anna_1977

Annieireland71 wrote: »

where can I see my credit rating?

You can view your credit report on a number of websites, Noddle, Experian and Equifax.

calleyw

If I have read this correctly if you give him 12k he will come off the mortgage?

Bargain if you ask me. Put the house up for sale, give him his 12k then split up with him and then buy another house on your own.

You are very deluded if you think this is a healthy relationship. Far from it he called the police because you shouted at him. Get rid of, no matter how much you love him he has used you. Don't worry about saving face and sod what anyone else thinks.

Your children will be picking up on all this and will believe that is way relationships are. And they should not be. You are not a team or working towards the same goals.

I know its easy for us to say get rid of. And it will take some time and expense to unpick and there is going to be heartache and a lot of pain and soul searching. But its short term pain for long term gain.

Your know in your heart of hearts you deserve so much better. I wish you well.

Yours

Calley x

hazyjo

Comms69 wrote: »

at the minute she cant, they're joint owners.

Comms69 wrote: »

Whether he was escorted off the property or not is largely irrelevant. The police have no power to remove him. They may ask assertively, but again as a joint owner his rights to remain are fundamentally protected in law. - unless ofcourse he commits an offence and the police have the necessity of arrest under Code G of Pace / other common law power of arrest.


It's as simple as that.

Forgot about the owning bit. Would be worth speaking with a solicitor. My friend recently split with her husband (he left her for someone else). Her solicitor said because he had made threats, she just had to say she felt unsafe and, despite owning 50/50, he would not be allowed to share the property. Really not sure of the ins and outs, but worth looking into - before you try to get rid.


Agree with above, just pay him off. He only wants money, so give it. Don't make your first offer your final offer as he will 100% ask for more than you offer.

Soundgirlrocks

Op, this is what came to mind the moment I read your post.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/financial-abuse/

Get out now before this leech takes any more of your money.

Caraway90

Please leave this terrible person.
Does he have a geunine reason for not working? If not, why does he think he has the right to do nothing all day whilst you go out to work?

Comms69

hazyjo wrote: »

Forgot about the owning bit. Would be worth speaking with a solicitor. My friend recently split with her husband (he left her for someone else). Her solicitor said because he had made threats, she just had to say she felt unsafe and, despite owning 50/50, he would not be allowed to share the property. Really not sure of the ins and outs, but worth looking into - before you try to get rid. - Perhaps a non-molestation order. Obviously difficult to comment without details.


Agree with above, just pay him off. He only wants money, so give it. Don't make your first offer your final offer as he will 100% ask for more than you offer.

It's very difficult to be 100% on the details. But courts, rightly, don't exclude people from their homes without good reason.


Imagine if you could effectively get rid of your partner by simply saying "I feel unsafe"

Annieireland71

Caraway90 wrote: »

Please leave this terrible person.
Does he have a geunine reason for not working? If not, why does he think he has the right to do nothing all day whilst you go out to work?

he says that he cannot work because i treat him badly and he is down all the time. he also blames my teenage dughters that they can be disruptive and spoil the peace and quiet.

i think that if the house sells and its straightforward he will take the 50% - i wont be able to mortgage a new poperty as i have 24k debt and 2.5 overdraft

im really screwed

Candyapple

Annieireland71 wrote: »

he says that he cannot work because i treat him badly and he is down all the time. he also blames my teenage dughters that they can be disruptive and spoil the peace and quiet.

He saw you coming from a mile off.

Annieireland71 wrote: »

i think that if the house sells and its straightforward he will take the 50% - i wont be able to mortgage a new poperty as i have 24k debt and 2.5 overdraft

im really screwed

Think of it as a costly life lesson, the price of not being able to buy a new house going forward is because you were naive and dumb enough to put some random bloke you knew for 5 minutes on your deeds so he was entitled to 50% of any equity AND then one step further and also gifted him £24k! Who even does that?!

Honestly, why are you still with this man? Are you really that lonely/desperate that you are willing to put up with funding him for the next 20+ years? You are delusional if you think he’s suddenly going to get a job/change.

Annieireland71

Candyapple wrote: »

He saw you coming from a mile off.




Think of it as a costly life lesson, the price of not being able to buy a new house going forward is because you were naive and dumb enough to put some random bloke you knew for 5 minutes on your deeds so he was entitled to 50% of any equity AND then one step further and also gifted him £24k! Who even does that?!

Honestly, why are you still with this man? Are you really that lonely/desperate that you are willing to put up with funding him for the next 20+ years? You are delusional if you think he’s suddenly going to get a job/ch

thank you