Equity - Boyfriend - new house argument

Seanymph

You gave him half.

You've already done that! Now clearly he wants a mum, not to be a grown up. But that's your choice.

If we sold our house my husband and i wouldn't be arguing over who has what money, it's our house, our money. We are in a relationship.

You can't have both cakes - you are with him - in which case it makes no odds what money he leeches from you. Or you aren't, in which case you are able to ringfence what is yours going forwards.

But you have already gifted him half your house - if I was one of your daughters i'd be mighty miffed! - you can't take it back. Now if he's willing to sling his hook for a 12k payoff I'd say you've gotten off lightly.

And the new house? He'll own a part of that too if you let him live in it.

Personally I wouldn't want to have to buy a man to stay with me, or support one that didn't respect me and work with me to build a joint future - but that's your choice.

What you can't do though is gift him half your house, then take it back with impunity. What you have to do is learn, and not give him any more.

Annieireland71

Seanymph wrote: »

Personally I wouldn't want to have to buy a man to stay with me, or support one that didn't respect me and work with me to build a joint future - but that's your choice.

What you can't do though is gift him half your house, then take it back with impunity. What you have to do is learn, and not give him any more. .

I'm not buying him. I have behaved in the way any woman would have. I allowed him onto the mortgage with good intentions, with honour. he let me down.

I'm not taking it back - its not possible for me to take it back.

I have nothing left to give

[Deleted User]

Annieireland71 wrote: »

I'm not buying him. I have behaved in the way any woman would have. I allowed him onto the mortgage with good intentions, with honour. he let me down.

I'm not taking it back - its not possible for me to take it back.

I have nothing left to give

You are wrong. Most women would not accept this situation. It seems like he has seen a vulnerable woman and weesled his way into your affections. You have left your daughters short of a home and ultimately an inheritance for someone who sees fit to lounge around and not pay his way. Most women would have run for the hills with a fifty something who has no assets, job or security and would have seen a gold digger for what he is and shown him the door.

Annieireland71

BBH123 wrote: »

You are wrong. Most women would not accept this situation. It seems like he has seen a vulnerable woman and weesled his way into your affections. You have left your daughters short of a home and ultimately an inheritance for someone who sees fit to lounge around and not pay his way. Most women would have run for the hills with a fifty something who has no assets, job or security and would have seen a gold digger for what he is and shown him the door.

at the time of the remortgage I had no reason to think that he would treat me this way.

Blackpool_Saver

Get rid .................

kazwookie

He owns 50%.

You are a bank to him, a business, let him sue you, big deal, he wants money you give him money, this needs to stop.

He needs money to pay his debts you give him money....... need I go on.

He asks you give ££, say NO

Dump him, move him out.

Rent for a year or so, BUT make sure only you is on the lease, until you get this mess sorted out.

Pay him off and get on with life.

Tell us what you love about him??

He loves you for your money and easy way you are with him.

Is his CV up to date, if so get it around agencies for work he is able to do.

Again dump him and get on with your life.

He is abusing you.

swingaloo

So you resent him.
You think about suing him.
He is threatening to sue you.
He has taken you from being financially secure to struggling to manage.
He has caused you to lose everything you had gained.
He has misled you by letting you re mortgage to get him a lump of cash then let you down.
He is openly threatening your future financial status.
He lets you provide for him.
He lets you go out to work while he sits at home.
He causes you stress and worry.
He has taken away the future security you wanted for your children.


What does he do for you?

Exactly what do you see in him?

Sea_Shell

Sounds like a keeper!!!!

hazyjo

You are deluded.


And that is from me in a similar situation.
My 50-odd year old BF doesn't work. But he gets up the same as me, and does literally everything. (Washing, ironing, cleaning, dishwasher/washing up, hoovering, decorating, house maintenance, annoying phone calls to companies like Sky when renewing, all shopping, all cooking (inc cooked breakfasts at weekends) (I might cook every few months), all the cats stuff (feeding, litter, cleaning up crap in garden) etc), all garden stuff (our garden looks lovely!), parcels/post office stuff).


I don't have to do anything at all at home. He's bipolar, and doesn't deal with stress well at all. It suits us. But your BF sounds like he's after as much as he can get before dumping you. Sorry! Oh, and my BF doesn't own anything. Not on deeds, or mortgage, nor anything like that. We've been together around 7-8 years.

Annieireland71

hazyjo wrote: »

You are deluded.


And that is from me in a similar situation.
My 50-odd year old BF doesn't work. But he gets up the same as me, and does literally everything. (Washing, ironing, cleaning, dishwasher/washing up, hoovering, decorating, house maintenance, annoying phone calls to companies like Sky when renewing, all shopping, all cooking (inc cooked breakfasts at weekends) (I might cook every few months), all the cats stuff (feeding, litter, cleaning up crap in garden) etc), all garden stuff (our garden looks lovely!), parcels/post office stuff).

I don't have to do anything at all at home. He's bipolar, and doesn't deal with stress well at all. It suits us. But your BF sounds like he's after as much as he can get before dumping you. Sorry! Oh, and my BF doesn't own anything. Not on deeds, or mortgage, nor anything like that. We've been together around 7-8 years.

I feel so terrible.

He is threatenng to leave me - calling me names it was horrid last night.

last year i didnt have enough money to buy my chidrens uniform, so he bought them to help me out. three weeks ago he asked me for 800 for his finance - car and credit cards - i lent it to him becuase we are financialy connected and didnt want my score pulled down. not at this crucial time.

last week he asks me for anther 100. thats nealy £1,000 in a week. that was from my overdraft.

now he is asking me for the money back that he spent on my childrens uniform