Equity - Boyfriend - new house argument

hazyjo

Annieireland71 wrote: »

I feel so terrible.

He is threatenng to leave me - calling me names it was horrid last night.

last year i didnt have enough money to buy my chidrens uniform, so he bought them to help me out. three weeks ago he asked me for 800 for his finance - car and credit cards - i lent it to him becuase we are financialy connected and didnt want my score pulled down. not at this crucial time.

last week he asks me for anther 100. thats nealy £1,000 in a week. that was from my overdraft.

now he is asking me for the money back that he spent on my childrens uniform

Hunny - be honest with yourself.


Separate your finances now. Then kick him out. I don't usually say black and white things on here, but have a real honest word with yourself. What advice would you be giving someone if you read your first post and the one I've quoted? Honestly.


Be strong. You are surely worth SO much more than that!

Comms69

Annieireland71 wrote: »

I feel so terrible.

He is threatenng to leave me - calling me names it was horrid last night.

last year i didnt have enough money to buy my chidrens uniform, so he bought them to help me out. three weeks ago he asked me for 800 for his finance - car and credit cards - i lent it to him becuase we are financialy connected and didnt want my score pulled down. not at this crucial time.

last week he asks me for anther 100. thats nealy £1,000 in a week. that was from my overdraft.

now he is asking me for the money back that he spent on my childrens uniform

Credit scores aren't real. Credit ratings are, but that is not a magic number.


Cut your financial ties - close any joint accounts, pay off any joint loans.

Comms69

hazyjo wrote: »

Hunny - be honest with yourself.


Separate your finances now. Then kick him out. I don't usually say black and white things on here, but have a real honest word with yourself. What advice would you be giving someone if you read your first post and the one I've quoted? Honestly.


Be strong. You are surely worth SO much more than that!

at the minute she cant, they're joint owners.

anna_1977

agree with Comms69 - split ALL joint accounts now.

He threatened to leave you, why not tell him to go ahead and do that.

Whatever you do please don't allow him to move into your new home with you and your girls (how old are the girls BTW?)

getmore4less

short time line..

2 years ago i met a guy (lets say around Jan 2017)

He wanted to move in - so i said yes, him and his son (17 ears old) moved in( when was that?)

Nov/Dec 2017 he gave up work

December 2017 we mortgaged the house (he made no contribution to the equity) we (took extra funds of £47k) he had £24k of that cash.

After less than a year of knowing this guy you were taking equity out of the house to just give him along with more of your own equity


Were the alarm bells not ringing this was not a good idea?

When did he give up work before or after the mortgage completed?


He will just keep taking and when you can give any more move on.


Did you do any background investigations, 50, single, with a son there will be history.

Annieireland71

anna_1977 wrote: »

agree with Comms69 - split ALL joint accounts now.

He threatened to leave you, why not tell him to go ahead and do that.

Whatever you do please don't allow him to move into your new home with you and your girls (how old are the girls BTW?)

they are 15 & 16

i could kick him out - he called the police on me reently because i shouted at him.

they saw immediately what wa going on. he was escorted off the property.

there are no joint debts - only the mortgage.

Annieireland71

getmore4less wrote: »

short time line..



After less than a year of knowing this guy you were taking equity out of the house to just give him along with more of your own equity


Were the alarm bells not ringing this was not a good idea?

When did he give up work before or after the mortgage completed?


He will just keep taking and when you can give any more move on.


Did you do any background investigations, 50, single, with a son there will be history.

he has 3 children.

2 ex wives - several failed businesses as well

he quit the job pretty much the day themortgge completed. but he said he had savings to keep us going

his famiy told ne that he had changed when he met me - now they saw they want nothng to do with him

Comms69

Annieireland71 wrote: »

they are 15 & 16

i could kick him out - he called the police on me reently because i shouted at him.

they saw immediately what wa going on. he was escorted off the property.

there are no joint debts - only the mortgage.

Whether he was escorted off the property or not is largely irrelevant. The police have no power to remove him. They may ask assertively, but again as a joint owner his rights to remain are fundamentally protected in law. - unless ofcourse he commits an offence and the police have the necessity of arrest under Code G of Pace / other common law power of arrest.


It's as simple as that.

Annieireland71

Comms69 wrote: »

Credit scores aren't real. Credit ratings are, but that is not a magic number.


Cut your financial ties - close any joint accounts, pay off any joint loans.

where can I see my credit rating?

Comms69

Annieireland71 wrote: »

where can I see my credit rating?

You cant. It's not a number.


Each lender will rate your credit worthiness differently.