Expensive hen do

FindingOutStuff

If you are not happy to spend that money, don't. If they are a really good friend to you they would be understanding. If they haven't already, you could suggest they plan another separate hen do or small gathering with those that couldn't attend the one abroad. And this could just be a nice meal out plus a couple of girly hen do games. Or perhaps just you two could go out for nice inexpensive lunch if you wanted to make up for it but totally you're choice. Don't feel obliged to make up for it if you don't want to. We have to remember that weddings can be very expensive for guests too, when you add up the costs of outfit, gift, travel, overnight stay, baby sitter if you need one, hen and stag dos. So it's important to remember these things and spend the amount that you're happy with.

74jax

I could afford £500 for a hen do, but still wouldn't as its at not my kind of thing (what you have described) . I wouldn't have a problem saying no and have done in the past.

I don't think spending £500 on a hen do and £500 on a holiday is the same thing. But I guess it depends on your type of holidays etc.

Gavin83

Comms69 wrote: »

- Because a stag do is not a holiday! From memory I needed a holiday to get over the do!

£500 would be better spent taking kids on a weekend to LEGOLAND or similar

Fair enough, I guess it depends on your definition of a holiday. Personally I'd consider it a holiday and enjoy going away 'with the lads' but if it really wasn't my thing I'd probably think twice.

Saying this I'm well traveled and my usual holiday usually involves heading off the tourist trail. However I do like a variety.

chelseablue

My hen do was in June, we went for afternoon tea in a local hotel that cost 20 quid each

I'm probably way too tight but I wouldn't spend £500 on a hen do.

Yes I would spend £500 on a holiday but that would be somewhere I would be choosing to go not feeling like I had to

mikeeboy

A long weekend away like this will have a different value for different people. You haven't said where you're going, but sitting in the sun getting drunk would be one person's heaven, and another person's hell.

Popular European destinations are full of stag and hen parties and even though most will do their best to keep costs down, they won't really consider anyone who can't afford it.

Soundgirlrocks

If the OP can't or doesn't want to spend that kind of money that is entirely her choice and right, and the bride as her friend should respect that.

However can we please stop saying how inconsiderate it is of the bride to have a hen do abroad. For some people (especial if single) these type of group holidays (which is really what this is) can be really good and very enjoyable.

motorguy

If you dont want to go for whatever reason (in this case - the costs) then let the bride to be know and dont go.

£500 is a big ask of someone so if you dont feel comfortable with the spend / subsequent debt then dont do it.

motorguy

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

If the OP can't or doesn't want to spend that kind of money that is entirely her choice and right, and the bride as her friend should respect that.

However can we please stop saying how inconsiderate it is of the bride to have a hen do abroad. For some people (especial if single) these type of group holidays (which is really what this is) can be really good and very enjoyable.

It can be really good and enjoyable of course, however to not consider the (financial) needs of the group going and committing them to a significant financial outlay IS inconsiderate.

£500 could be 2+ weeks pay to someone, or 10+ weeks of expendable income.

NeilCr

I don't think it's selfish/inconsiderate of the bride to be to have her hen do where and how she wants. It would be selfish/inconsiderate of her if she kicked off/didn't accept that inviteees like the OP couldn't/didn't want to come. Finding something that suits everybody and is within everyone's budget is akin to herding cats.

Given OP's financial situation I wouldn't go - although I do understand that she is a close friend. As others have said be honest with her and I'd certainly suggest doing something else with her over here.

Red-Squirrel_2

Gavin83 wrote: »

Why? The stag/hen should be free to do what they want, other people are free to tag along or stay at home as they wish.

Herein lies the problem.

It isn't a hen do if you go alone, there is an expectation that others are going, and when you have other people to consider then no, you can't just do what you want!