Huge wedding problem :(

calleyw

leighavfc wrote: »

I will be going to at the very least the wedding and meal but may decide to leave the night and spend time with my partner. Reasonable i would think tbh

A sensible solution. And it seems your partner has not made any demands saying him or me.


Which it seems that other people have been saying she should have been. Now you will get loads of reply going how you are being disloyal to your partner. Ignore that rubbish.


Some people are highly strung and emotional. And talk utter rubbish. It does not matter the reason why your partner was not invited. She was not. Remember you are going support your friend on his wedding day. And you don't have to like his wife to be either. Not compulsory. Enjoy the day and then spend the time with your partner doing something nice.


Yours


Calley x

annandale

So. They sorted things out. Yet your wife still isn't invited and you think a compromise is that you go to the wedding and the meal and come home to spend time with your wife.

If I were your wife I'd be furious with you.
Why are you even asking what to do? You are going to the wedding while she sits at home thanks to your pals horrible wife to be.

NeilCr

calleyw wrote: »

A sensible solution. And it seems your partner has not made any demands saying him or me.


Which it seems that other people have been saying she should have been. Now you will get loads of reply going how you are being disloyal to your partner. Ignore that rubbish.


Some people are highly strung and emotional. And talk utter rubbish. It does not matter the reason why your partner was not invited. She was not. Remember you are going support your friend on his wedding day. And you don't have to like his wife to be either. Not compulsory. Enjoy the day and then spend the time with your partner doing something nice.


Yours


Calley x

Well said Calley

Some of the "it's me or him" stuff is far more overdramatic than anything the OP has said

leighavfc

annandale wrote: »

She doesn't sound like an ex friend with a grudge. Just someone who is upset that she's been invited to the reception and her husband to the full do. That is embarrassing. For her. And what do you mean as to why they fell out. You mean that your wife was left out of wedding plans? Or just that the friendship cooled.

Op. You have had six months to sort this. There should be no problem at this stage. You could have said to your friend months ago that you would not be attending without your wife.

And I agree. They will have paid money for your meal. And someone else will have been left out of the evening reception to let your wife go so don't consider bailing out at this stage without at least telling them first.

I have never ever been invited to any aspect of a wedding when I had a partner without a plus one. If you were invited to the full day. So should your wife have been. It's not just her wedding. It's his as well.

If there is drama you have helped create it by thinking of going without your wife. No wonder she is upset. Id be furious with you. She's your priority. She is the mother of your kids.

And I can totally understand why she is upset that your brothers gf who has never even met the bride has been asked to the full do and she hasn't.

The bride sounds like an absolute cow. Yes it's her day. But I'm sure she knew the problems it would cause between you when she did this.

It's you who has the choice to make. Not your wife as far as I'm concerned

Agree here totally. Wife wants me to go regardless as she knows how close me and groom are. No pressure on me other than do i think its right or wrong to go without her.. thank you for reading what i have wrote and actually understanding me fully!

calleyw

leighavfc wrote: »

Think about it Calley how would i know they havemt spoke or met..... straight from the horses mouth!!!!!!!! My brother and jess told me this last night......................

So you found out last night. So this is what caused the massive drama? Your brother and his gf should have kept their big mouths shut then and so should you have and not told your partner.



But again I will say it's none of yours or your partners business who they invited to the wedding and why?


Even though you thought it had been sorted, in the brides head it was not and she choose not to invite your partner.


Its one day in your life and you will spend other days with your friend with and with his wife and your partner. So not sure why everyone has got so upset and offended by one day!!!!


Yours


Calley X

Tabbytabitha

Pollycat wrote: »

So the OP's partner's is a lush who's likely to show herself and everybody else up during the wedding ceremony and meal but not at the evening do...?
Unlikely, imho.
If the OP's partner was likely to demonstrate a lack of discretion, I don't think she would have been invited to any part of the wedding.

Jokes and anecdotes about the groom's previous exploits still tend to be acceptable at weddings but those about the bride (however unfairly) rather less so.

annandale

I think you have a very understanding wife. But this has been handled badly. It looks very much that you are prioritising your friendship with your friend over her.

I personally would be asking some serious questions of a partner who went to a wedding leaving me sitting in the house. I don't think I'd be able to forgive that in this situation.

If it were someone I didn't know well and couldn't get a plus one I would get it. But your wife does.

You are married. Your loyalties should be with her as far as I'm concerned, you should not be even having to ask.

Tabbytabitha

annandale wrote: »

I think you have a very understanding wife. But this has been handled badly. It looks very much that you are prioritising your friendship with your friend over her.

I personally would be asking some serious questions of a partner who went to a wedding leaving me sitting in the house. I don't think I'd be able to forgive that in this situation.


If it were someone I didn't know well and couldn't get a plus one I would get it. But your wife does.

You are married. Your loyalties should be with her as far as I'm concerned, you should not be even having to ask.

He's prioritising his friend's wedding over her, which is rather different.

ETA
And I do wish you and others wouldn't describe her as his wife - the OP has been perfectly clear that they aren't married. (Probably unimportant, but a personal niggle of mine.)

POPPYOSCAR

[QUOTE=annandale;74818230]I think you have a very understanding wife. [/B]But this has been handled badly. It looks very much that you are prioritising your friendship with your friend over her.

I personally would be asking some serious questions of a partner who went to a wedding leaving me sitting in the house. I don't think I'd be able to forgive that in this situation.

If it were someone I didn't know well and couldn't get a plus one I would get it. But your wife does.

You are married. Your loyalties should be with her as far as I'm concerned, you should not be even having to ask.[/QUOTE]


She sounds like a very reasonable person to me.

She may have said this because she cares so much about the Op but be absolutely dying inside.

I also wonder what will happen in the future.

Presumably, he will only be seeing his friend on a one to one basis.

I do not think this wedding will be the end of his problems.

POPPYOSCAR

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

He's prioritising his friend's wedding over her, which is rather different.

ETA
And I do wish you and others wouldn't describe her as his wife - the OP has been perfectly clear that they aren't married. (Probably unimportant, but a personal niggle of mine.)

Well I think if the Op refers to her as his wife as in post 85 above I think other posters can as well!.