Huge wedding problem :(

welshbabe88

Go and support your friend Leigh - and stay for the meal now if you said you would. your friend knows you are not happy but don't make an issue of it tomorrow - you are there for hima dn the closeness you share. Don't mention your partner at all - you can mostly avoid the bride and then come home after. No need to go in the evening. Obviously bride still holds a grudge - best just to leeave it. She may have said it was sorted but obviously not. Maybe its time just to accept things will never be the same - but don't lose sleep over it.
Though it is strange that with only 36 going she's asking partner's she doesn't know - but thats evidence enough she's not worth bothering with.
Things may come better again - but don't hold your breath.
Enjoy tomorrow if you can.

annandale

I'm not bitter in the slightest as it happens. I just think that the OPs wife has shown herself to be very upset. It was her friend. They had apparently made up. Shes asked him during the day and her and the kids at night. And shes asked the gf of his brother who she has never met in her life to the full thing. That is quite a large statement to make. They are so poor they can't afford to ask one more person to the day event? Ask one half of a couple during the day and the other at night, I've never known this to happen unless the couple didn't know both of that couple very well but this isn't the case here.

Its not bitter to point out that the OP doesn't seem to care much about his wife's feelings on the matter. The last sentence of the first post was I half think I shouldn't go but that would mean I would fall out with the groom

His mates feelings matter more to him than his wife's it would appear and again, it took 6 months to get to this stage. The wedding is tomorrow. A decision on this should have and could have been made months ago. Not the night before the wedding.

And hes sitting saying, well I might just turn up and watch them get married and not go, leaving them out of pocket. They should both have made a decision about what to do, months ago.

Don't bother to reply to this as I wont be reading it. As it will be more rubbish about how the OP is so wrong in what he is doing.

People's opinions aren't rubbish simply because they don't match your opinion.

Actually you are so wrong I am very quiet and rarely get annoyed at anyone in real life.

It's your posts he is talking about, not real life. Its up to you how you post, people can post how they like on here, but we all have different opinions and that is true for all parts of the board.

The I am so stressed because I have to make this decision does not wash with me I am afraid, when the invites were sent out almost 6 months ago. The bottom line is they should not be 24 hours away from a wedding not knowing if they are going or not, that is ridiculous.

annandale

If he supports his friend his marriage may end up in trouble, his wife is very upset and I can see why. It would have been easier to say at the beginning, if my wife isn't coming to the day event, neither of us will be going.

POPPYOSCAR

annandale wrote: »

If he supports his friend his marriage may end up in trouble, his wife is very upset and I can see why. It would have been easier to say at the beginning, if my wife isn't coming to the day event, neither of us will be going.

Yes I agree.

But they did not do that and so in the circumstances I think that him going to the wedding ceremony and then going home is a reasonable
compromise .

Poor_Single_lady

I am struggling to understand how you can be so incredibly offended when I suggested that you are enjoying the drama (which I think you are) and then post such dramatic responses.

All you have to do is make a decision and then do it. It's not actually that much of a big deal in real life terms. Lots of people have genuine difficult real life problems, but this isn't one.

If your wife is upset, Instead of being dramatic on the internet perhaps you should talk to her. Personally indecisiveness really annoys me but it attracts a lot of posts from people giving you advice which you have then Ignored which would suggest to me, as I said before you like the drama and you like stirring this up.

phryne

Don't rise to it, people..

annandale

Actually you are so wrong I am very quiet and rarely get annoyed at anyone in real life. And if you read most of my posts out side of this thread you will see I don't get upset or annoyed very often.



But this has got stupid, oh the drama because I did not get invited to a wedding and my partner did. Its like being in a school play ground.



Also I am female and this sort of lynch the guy for daring to go his friends wedding on his own. Is not funny and is controlling and to me emotional abuse.


What if this was reversed and the OP was female would you be saying the same about being disloyal. Doubt it.



There are some very bitter woman on this thread. They make me ashamed to be female.

You should be ashamed full stop. Calling people bitter and controlling just because they don't agree with your viewpoint.

Controlling and emotional abuse. Away you go. The wife is upset because she was a close friend of the brides and hasn't been invited while her husband has and because his brothers wife who has never even met her is going to the full thing. Lets see you put up with years of emotional abuse like some people do. And then you might not think that whether someone goes to a wedding or not is emotional abuse. Talk about making a drama out of nothing. The exact thing you've accused other people of doing on here.

I noticed while you were spitting out your names at me you didn't mention the part of my posts where I said this could have been sorted 6 months ago and that both the husband and wife could have moved to try and sort this situation and not leave it until 24 hours before the wedding.

You are bang out of order.

pimento

leighavfc wrote: »

.... people like my brothers GF have never met the bride.

I'd be furious too. The bride sounds like a bit of a cow, to be honest.

I think you do have to decide who means more because I'd expect my husband to take my side. Why hasn't the groom sorted it out?

ecgirl07

annandale wrote: »

So. They sorted things out. Yet your wife still isn't invited and you think a compromise is that you go to the wedding and the meal and come home to spend time with your wife.

If I were your wife I'd be furious with you.
Why are you even asking what to do? You are going to the wedding while she sits at home thanks to your pals horrible wife to be.

This attitude justs makes it all about you, not your partner, or the bride and groom. Demanded loyalty nevers end well, theres a lack of respect for your partner and his friendship.

Thankfully the op and partner have a more sensible compromising approach. Life isnt black and white and areas of grey can be found.

honeypop

leighavfc wrote: »

My partner has told me that i must go regardless of what she does, she does not want this to affect me and the groom who she still has a lot of time for etc.

There's your answer then. I don't see the dilemma if this is what your girlfriend says for you to do. Support your friend, as others have said, by attending as invited to.

I've been to plenty of weddings where one partner has been invited all day and the other just to the evening, for various reasons, and even where someone's husband/wife, though lesser known to the couple, has been invited over someone's 'just' girlfriend/boyfriend who might be more known to the couple. It's not strange or wrong in my opinion, and I can't understand all the posters saying they'd be angry if their partner was invited and they weren't and they went without them - though I understand not everyone has had the same wedding experiences, and what is normal in some groups of friends/family, isn't the same for all.