Huge wedding problem :(

Dasa

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

You have' played the crowd' very well.

Just awaiting the next thread about your mate wanting to go out in a foursome and the ensuing drama.......

All the best to those that want to play along with you.

Having read through the whole thing- I make you right.

Pollycat

leighavfc wrote: »

My partner told me she had whatsapped the bride to say good luck on Thursday evening in an attempt to again diffuse the situation and try and gauge what she was thinking. She read it almost immediately with no reply... partner left it until friday night for her to reply before making her final decision. Still no message back from her so my partner again on Friday messsged her incase she had forgot (we guessed this was not the case.) Again had read it without reply. This told my partner all she needed to know....My partner again told me i am going regardless as me and the groom have been dragged into this really and because of how close we are.

I think this is really rude.
I know a bride is busy on the run-up to her wedding but a quick response would have taken no time at all.
I've said earlier in the thread that this 'fall-out' must be far more serious than your wife has told you (or maybe more serious than she realised) or the bride is a nasty b i t c h.

leighavfc wrote: »

Interestingly 2 of the bridesmaids who i barely know and have only met once in my whole life and dont know my partner came up to me saying where is she, why she not coming etc. Obviously prepped to get info out of me from the bride!!! And strangely enough one of them was trying it on with me for most of the night!!! Even the groom had noticed this and said to her he has got a wife and kids you know ... to which she smiled and shrugged her shoulders apparently..

Unless you are James Bond and truly irresistible to all females between the ages of 14 and 90 , this does sound odd.
Maybe the bride did engineer this.
In which case she's an even bigger b i t c h than most of us thought.


I'll reiterate this:

Pollycat wrote: »

I think the OP's partner has been the bigger person in this by wanting the OP to still go to the wedding.

OK, she may have been upset last night but I think it probably came as a massive shock to find out that she is regarded as a less welcome guest than someone the bride has never met.
At least she now knows where she stands.
TBH, it doesn't sound like a big loss.
I know which person I'd rather have as a friend - based on what I've read so far.

I do hope your friendship with the groom survives but I think you might have to work hard at it.

leighavfc

I didnt want to post anymore in here, but i wanted to add in that the bridesmaid hitting on me was more to do with the drink rather than being sent on a mission by the bride. I had my suspicions at the time but i was probably wrong here. I completly understand why my comment about that would make my whole story look false. It did happen but again by that time everybody was well on the way.

I do believe however the bride prepped them too get info out of me about where my wife was and whether she was coming or not having not ever met her before hand and also knowing her name... only the bride could have supplied that info.

annandale

I agree. Why post this if you were always going to go. Btw. Threads do often take a different turn. People won’t always agree with you. That’s the way it goes on here.

I don’t think many people will be messaging you privately to get the next instalment in this drama.

Like you said. You went and as far as you are concerned it is all sorted

annandale

I’ve not seen anyone trolling you. Just some people who thought that if you went and left your wife sitting at home given how upset she was that your loyalty maybe should have been with her and not the bride and groom

Red-Squirrel_2

I think you were right to go and support the groom at the day bit of the wedding.

I think its a shame you also went to the evening do, got drunk and let a bridesmaid be inappropriate with you. You could have gone home to your wife and family with your head held high but you didn't.

Pixie5740

It's a shame you didn't get hammered and spill red wine down the bride's dress.*



*For the avoidance of doubt this is not serious advice to someone who finds themselves dealing with a Bridezilla

pimento

leighavfc wrote: »

Yeah she spoke to me as if nothing has happened and didnt once mention my wife in any of several conversations during day and night!

How very English.

I couldn't have kept a game face and for that reason wouldn't not have stayed after the ceremony (if I had gone at all).

Your wife might be saying she's cool with it but I guarantee she isn't.

jackieblack

pimento wrote: »

Your wife might be saying she's cool with it but I guarantee she isn't.

On the other hand, it sounds like his wife is a functioning mature adult who, while saddened at not being invited to the wedding of someone she used to be friends with, can survive without her partner for a few hours on a single day and is happy for him to go and support his best mate.


Not every couple feels the need to be joined at the hip for every single moment of every single day.

pimento

jackieblack wrote: »

On the other hand, it sounds like his wife is a functioning mature adult who, while saddened at not being invited to the wedding of someone she used to be friends with, can survive without her partner for a few hours on a single day and is happy for him to go and support his best mate.


Not every couple feels the need to be joined at the hip for every single moment of every single day.

I would describe myself as above but it would still rankle with me if my husband did what the OP did. I might have been able to swallow the ceremony but not staying til the end and not telling the bride her fortune when he got the opportunity even if it was via a bridesmaid.