Huge wedding problem :(

Pollycat

Loz01 wrote: »

Haven't read the whole thread but if it was me I would just go to the evening with partner and kids. Its a bit selfish and bizarre of them to invite you to the wedding but not your family. Surely its all or nothing.

Might just be a good idea to read the thread.
Just saying...

-taff

HampshireH wrote: »

I didn't mean for the thread contributors to move on. I meant for the OP, wife and friends

Lucky really...

NeilCr

thorsoak wrote: »

It's plain and simple in my mind. Who matters most to you - your wife or your friend?

Seems like OP's wife got the right perspective on this. It's not a simple her or him. Fortunately she saw it as it was (unlike some posters here) and made it easier for the OP.

Still suspect we may get an update to keep the drama going!

eamon

Just for entertainment purposes I'm going for and in no particular order
The bride or groom gets jilted at the altar.
The celebrant doesn't appear.
Any objections happens (not sure if it still can).
Constant interuptions by snall children.
Bridezilla and or Mother of Bridezilla causes a commotion.
At the reception the best man isn't the best anymore.
Bridezilla dallies with another who isn't hubby and vice versa.
There must be huge fight and the police are called.


Of course in reality none of the above happens and its a lovely civilised wedding. But who doesn't like to watch a good car crash and not have to pick up the pieces.


We need the OP to feedback with the outcome.

MothballsWallet

pollypenny wrote: »

This thread illustrates how childish and spiteful women can be, when you think they should have grown out of playground 'leaving out' behaviour.

The bride sounds like a right madam Whiplash.

OP, just go for your mate, but possibly miss the evening do as it sounds half-hearted.

Amended that for you

leighavfc

Update alert!

Hi all sorry havent posted past couple of days!

Spent all day friday stressing and thinking of the best way to sort this. The groom text me on the evening with a line at the end asking whether my partner was coming or not. I told him how my partner was feeling about it all. He replied and said he completely understands how she feels and will not hold it against us if she didnt turn up.

My partner told me she had whatsapped the bride to say good luck on Thursday evening in an attempt to again diffuse the situation and try and gauge what she was thinking. She read it almost immediately with no reply... partner left it until friday night for her to reply before making her final decision. Still no message back from her so my partner again on Friday messsged her incase she had forgot (we guessed this was not the case.) Again had read it without reply. This told my partner all she needed to know....My partner again told me i am going regardless as me and the groom have been dragged into this really and because of how close we are.

Saturday came partner had not 100% decided which way to go although it wss highly unlikely that she would go due to situation and logistics of getting her there. I went to the wedding and after the ceremony the groom pulled me to one side and basically apologised for the whole situation and said it had caused a few arguments over the last few months and that he had tried to get it all sorted!! Again confirming the problem was from the bride. He didnt have to do this of course but that is the kind of bloke he is and i appreciated doing that on his wedding day.

Phoned partner away from everyone to tell her the situation and what groom had said to me, and left with her to decide what to do. Partner said no point in coming when its going to be awkward as F and probably embarrassing for her as people had been asking where she is and why she not there all day.

I was going to leave the evening doo early and go home with a friend to which my partner replied no stay as long as you want and enjoy yourself.. bless her she is golden and took all the pressure off me so i could enjoy it as much ad i could. I found it hard talking to the bride but kept it civil and put my face on to not wreck the day and cause any more drama.

Interestingly 2 of the bridesmaids who i barely know and have only met once in my whole life and dont know my partner came up to me saying where is she, why she not coming etc. Obviously prepped to get info out of me from the bride!!! And strangely enough one of them was trying it on with me for most of the night!!! Even the groom had noticed this and said to her he has got a wife and kids you know ... to which she smiled and shrugged her shoulders apparently..

All in all i had a great day even after all the rubbish thats gone on. Me and the groom had a nice chat after it all saying regardless of all the nonsense we will not let it affect our relationship. Partner was happy for me and also pleased that she didnt got after hearing all i told her.

Thanks guys case closed. Unfortunately things will never be the same again now, at least we all know where we stand now.

Thank you for all the replys and advice given here been helpful.

HampshireH

Just out of interest did the bride acknowledge your attendance and speak to you or did she avoid you?

sheramber

see post 197

I found it hard talking to the bride but kept it civil and put my face on to not wreck the day and cause any more drama.

leighavfc

HampshireH wrote: »

Just out of interest did the bride acknowledge your attendance and speak to you or did she avoid you?

Yeah she spoke to me as if nothing has happened and didnt once mention my wife in any of several conversations during day and night!

Primrose

I think you have behaved with a great deal of dignity and good manners in a difficult situation.

However despite your friend saying he won't allow it to affect your future relationship, I suspect that unless you are very close and determined friends inevitably ,it may do. So be prepared for it.

He will have stronger divided loyalties now and probably a rather petty and spiteful wife to keep onside. If she behaves with such pettiness in her marriage it may not be too long before your chum is crying on your shoulder that it's all falling apart and wanting to borrow your sofa to sleep on.