Huge wedding problem :(

Pixie5740

At least the OP's partner knows where she stands with the bride now and that things are not fine and are unlikely to ever be fine again. I understand why she is upset, it is a bit of a kick in the teeth when you think things were at least civil again only to find out they clearly are not. I wouldn't bother turning up to the evening event and I sure as hell would not turn up to the wedding ceremony even if it is in a church where anyone can rock up. I think if I were the OP's other half I would reconcile it in my mind as my partner going to the wedding of his best friend who is marrying someone I don't know.

The groom probably has been a bit cowardly but he is between a rock and the hard place, as is the OP. Weddings can really bring out the worst in people.

Mojisola

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

If it were me, I would tell OH to go. and hope he makes the right choice. If he chose to put his mate and bride, who clearly had no respect for him and me, I would NOT be happy

I hate game playing like this in a relationship - you would lie to your partner and then blame him when he believed you?

seven-day-weekend

Mojisola wrote: »

I hate game playing like this in a relationship - you would lie to your partner and then blame him when he believed you?

Same here. We would decide between us, no game playing.

NeilCr

Lozz wrote: »

Lots of comments about how bride/groom/op's partner feels but not many about the op himself.

How do you feel about the situation op, and more importantly how are you going to feel at the actual wedding on your own? It sounds as though it's going to be mostly couples, it's you who has to attend by yourself, maybe sitting at a table with your brother and his gf plus other couples you and your wife may know well, you who has to maybe field questions about her absence and you who has to get through the day/evening solo feeling as you do.

I suspect your wife's non attendance is going to be felt rather more than her actual attendance would have.

Good luck for today whatever you decide.

Lozz x

Yes. Agree with this.

My ex would sometimes pull out of things at the last minute and I'd end up going on my own (that included her mother's funeral). The only thing I'd say is that it's usually a fifteen minute wonder and people soon move on to another topic of conversation/interest. You are the one who can feel it the most

Gavin83

annandale wrote: »

Just as a ps. The groom who you think so highly of. It's his wedding as well. What did he think about the decision to leave your wife out or did he have no say in the matter? Is he happy about this decision.

I'll ask you the question directly that everyone seems to be ignoring. Why do you believe the OP should support his partner but the groom shouldn't support his wife to be? Why one rule for one and another for them?

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

If it were me, I would tell OH to go. and hope he makes the right choice. If he chose to put his mate and bride, who clearly had no respect for him and me, I would NOT be happy

If you were my wife I'd divorce you for being the type to play games. Honestly, feeling like you need to 'test' your partner is the lowest of the low. Either be honest or suck it up.

sheramber

I think it is bad manners to invite one half of a partnership and not the other.

But
You say your OH and the bride have not met for 2 years. Is that by design or circumstance? Have you and her met the groom in that time?

Could it be that the bride does not want children at the wedding ceremony so has invited your OH and the children for the evening only.
May be she only wanted to invite you all for the evening but the groom insisted on inviting you for the ceremony?

If he is your best mate and friendly with you both I don't see why you can't say to him that you are surprised that your OH has not been invited to the ceremony and see what he says. His reply may help you decide whether you want to go or not.

pinkshoes

I would go to the wedding to support your best mate (I assume you are there now!!), as that is what you had already agreed to do, but...

Clearly your partner has not been invited out of spite given other partners are going that have not even met the bride.

This was a really below the belt and nasty thing to do, but your best mate should have stood up for you.

He would have known that this would have come to light eventually, and if he really is such a good mate, he would have known how it would have made you feel.

Your best mate behaved like a coward by not standing up to his wife. I would therefore question his loyalty to you.

Can I be the first to put money on their marriage not lasting????

Twopints

Pixie5740 wrote: »

At least the OP's partner knows where she stands with the bride now and that things are not fine and are unlikely to ever be fine again. I understand why she is upset, it is a bit of a kick in the teeth when you think things were at least civil again only to find out they clearly are not. I wouldn't bother turning up to the evening event and I sure as hell would not turn up to the wedding ceremony even if it is in a church where anyone can rock up. I think if I were the OP's other half I would reconcile it in my mind as my partner going to the wedding of his best friend who is marrying someone I don't know.

The groom probably has been a bit cowardly but he is between a rock and the hard place, as is the OP. Weddings can really bring out the worst in people.

Agreed. As demonstrated by some of the more vitriolic posts on this thread.:beer:

Loz01

Haven't read the whole thread but if it was me I would just go to the evening with partner and kids. Its a bit selfish and bizarre of them to invite you to the wedding but not your family. Surely its all or nothing.

HampshireH

Enjoy the wedding! :dance:

Hope your wife has a nice evening infront of Xfactor and see it for what it is at the end of the day.

Time to all move on:)